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I tend to agree with PriscillaVanilla that I would hire help rather than go to one of these facilities. The assisted living facilities in my area are extremely expensive, probably you'd have to be a doctor or lawyer to afford them.
Personally I'm not willing to spend all of my money on a one room apartment in a fancy facility with a restaurant and nice gardens. I don't need that kind of living. I would rather find a small apartment somewhere and then hire help. Hopefully I won't need full care until I'm ready to die anyway.
I took care of my mother for many years. She didn't have the money for assisted living and was fully in her own mind so I felt it was best to let her age in place. It was hard on me but worth it, IMO. I can always look back and know I did everything I could to help her.
I tend to agree with PriscillaVanilla that I would hire help rather than go to one of these facilities. The assisted living facilities in my area are extremely expensive, probably you'd have to be a doctor or lawyer to afford them.
Personally I'm not willing to spend all of my money on a one room apartment in a fancy facility with a restaurant and nice gardens. I don't need that kind of living. I would rather find a small apartment somewhere and then hire help. Hopefully I won't need full care until I'm ready to die anyway.
I took care of my mother for many years. She didn't have the money for assisted living and was fully in her own mind so I felt it was best to let her age in place. It was hard on me but worth it, IMO. I can always look back and know I did everything I could to help her.
Believe me, hiring help is not cheap either. Your mother was lucky she had you. Not everyone is so lucky. And a lot of organizations that claim they help do not. I contacted one well-known one. I was not requesting financial assistance. Did not need that; only needed guidance as to where to find a suitable place and where to find certain services (new to the area). All I got back was a request for a donation.
Sorry, I need my money worse than they do. Maybe for some there just is no solution. Await the grim reaper.
Try your local Area Agency on Aging. They often have access to subsidized help so people can age in their homes and communities as long as possible, but at the same time, those programs are often underfunded and can have long waiting lists to get the subsidized help.
Assisted Living is NOT a frugal solution, but sometimes the only solution.
It was discussed extensively on Retirement Forum.
Use the search feature. You will find a LOT of very valuable threads there.
Independent living arrangements are not assisted living arrangements. There is substantial differences between the two.
Fleet Landing in Atlantic Beach, FL is a premier senior living community that provides many different levels of support for seniors. https://fleetlanding.com/
You should read through their website to distinguish among independent living, assisted living, skilled nursing care, memory care, and long term care.
My sister lived here and as she aged, the support provided by the community made her transitions easier for her and the family. Not inexpensive living, but well worth the cost.
For those who wish to age in place, there are Continuous Care Retirement Centers, or CCRC's. These are communities that begin with Independent Living, transition to Assisted Living, then move forward to Memory Care or Skilled Nursing or Long Term Care as needed, all in the same area of property. Not cheap, however. I found there are buy-ins of different types, and other requirements that are complicated.
My mother and 3 of her 4 sisters, as well as my own 2 sisters, all ended up living in the same Senior building as they aged, usually overlapping. This was a federally funded tower that was income based. They used "Dial-a-Ride" when it was an available service, and relied on family to take them shopping or on outings (those that did not drive). It was a Godsend, let me tell you.
Believe me, hiring help is not cheap either. Your mother was lucky she had you. Not everyone is so lucky. And a lot of organizations that claim they help do not. I contacted one well-known one. I was not requesting financial assistance. Did not need that; only needed guidance as to where to find a suitable place and where to find certain services (new to the area). All I got back was a request for a donation.
Sorry, I need my money worse than they do. Maybe for some there just is no solution. Await the grim reaper.
It sounds like you are lashing out based on very limited research.
I work in assisted living. Most of the residents pay with monthly social security payments, VA benefits, savings and sale of home.
Some people can cobble together enough money that way but usually assisted living is for the rich. I do have a cousin who is in assisted living and only has a limited income but with the sale of her house (near high priced Boston) she can probably remain there for a total of five years. When the money runs out and all she has are her work pension and SS she'll have have to go to a nursing home. She has Alzheimers so hopefully by then she won't know the difference.
Another case was my aunt and uncle who had a lot of money. They went into an assisted living that gave them a large two bedroom apartment but they hated it. They moved out and bought a condo and hired people to come in and take care of them. They said it was a lot homier. The condo even had a tiny fenced in backyard and that's something people miss if they go into assisted living. That worked great but remember, they had MONEY.
Other relatives that I can remember who went into assisted living had varying experiences. Two were not well off, just low income people who had saved and saved and saved. Never had a life, worked at low paying jobs, never went anywhere. One even lived in subsidized housing and claimed to have suddenly found an old war bond. She cashed it in to pay for the assisted living. Those two went into the same place, each had a living room and a bedroom, and they had a good time for the short time that remained before they passed away. To them, it was a step up in the world and a chance to finally get waited on.
And another relative went into a similar place but was miserable. She had the money but she always said it wasn't like home. Most people say that it doesn't feel homey to them. It's like living in a hotel. Some people do appreciate the social aspect though, especially if the other option is to live alone at home.
The vast majority of people will never be able to live in assisted living even if they wanted to because at $6000 or $7000 per month they can't afford it, or not for very long. Staying in your own home can be just as expensive especially if you still have mortgage payments. There's no easy answer but the people who have responsible grown kids living nearby are the lucky ones. They can often find a senior rental apartment that keeps the rents within reason and they have their kids close by to help when needed. Maybe they can even live in a couple of rooms in the grown child's home--my grandmother did that and it was better for everyone.
Last edited by in_newengland; 09-12-2020 at 09:54 AM..
Some people can cobble together enough money that way but usually assisted living is for the rich. I do have a cousin who is in assisted living and only has a limited income but with the sale of her house (near high priced Boston) she can probably remain there for a total of five years. When the money runs out and all she has are her work pension and SS she'll have have to go to a nursing home. She has Alzheimers so hopefully by then she won't know the difference.
Another case was my aunt and uncle who had a lot of money. They went into an assisted living that gave them a large two bedroom apartment but they hated it. They moved out and bought a condo and hired people to come in and take care of them. They said it was a lot homier. The condo even had a tiny fenced in backyard and that's something people miss if they go into assisted living. That worked great but remember, they had MONEY.
Other relatives that I can remember who went into assisted living had varying experiences. Two were not well off, just low income people who had saved and saved and saved. Never had a life, worked at low paying jobs, never went anywhere. One even lived in subsidized housing and claimed to have suddenly found an old war bond. She cashed it in to pay for the assisted living. Those two went into the same place, each had a living room and a bedroom, and they had a good time for the short time that remained before they passed away. To them, it was a step up in the world and a chance to finally get waited on.
And another relative went into a similar place but was miserable. She had the money but she always said it wasn't like home. Most people say that it doesn't feel homey to them. It's like living in a hotel. Some people do appreciate the social aspect though, especially if the other option is to live alone at home.
The vast majority of people will never be able to live in assisted living even if they wanted to because at $6000 or $7000 per month they can't afford it, or not for very long. Staying in your own home can be just as expensive especially if you still have mortgage payments. There's no easy answer but the people who have responsible grown kids living nearby are the lucky ones. They can often find a senior rental apartment that keeps the rents within reason and they have their kids close by to help when needed. Maybe they can even live in a couple of rooms in the grown child's home--my grandmother did that and it was better for everyone.
There is something else to watch out for, too. Depending on the assisted living place, if you become ill to the point of needing care, you are asked to move out. Also, you can even be asked to move out in other circumstances. There is no government protection in the case of these privately-owned retirement homes, whatever they are called. Read the agreement carefully.
Last edited by in_newengland; 09-12-2020 at 09:54 AM..
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