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Well, I finally got brave enough to send his parents my email on Monday. I put so much thought into what to say and prayed about it a ton. I didn't hear anything back until yesterday. His dad sent me a text message saying thank you. He was so thankful that I didn't keep this from them. He hasn't told his son or wife yet about the email. He believes me without question because of all the proof I provided. He is going to tell his wife soon and says they want to meet all of us after Christmas.
Good for you. That took a lot of thought and courage, and I'm glad the grandparents appreciate your effort. I hope your child benefits from the association.
I would only want to know I had a grandchild if I was going to be part of that child's life. I read the entire thread, and think you did a wonderful thing OP.
I sincerely hope this is the first step in a positive relationship for your child and her grandparents. The fact you spent a great deal of time composing your letter, did not do anything knee jerk in response to his denial and how you documented your situation was an excellent way to handle this. Continued good luck.
Thank you. We've continued to talk daily but have not met yet. I'm sharing pictures with them and we are getting to know each other slowly. They are genuinely nice and caring people. Her grandfather seems absolutely thrilled to get pictures of her. I'm really hopeful that this will be positive for both sides.
This guy is not a father. He is nothing but a sperm donor. No I would not involve his parents. If as you say you don't need the child support...Forget him. Are your two older kids close? It would be great for them to get to know their little brother.
I am in the same boat. My son will be 5 soon and has not met the bio father's side of the family. He pays CS but has terminated his rights. I have no contact with him. That was his choice and I am now ok with it. I want to do this for my child, (health history). I am so afraid of rejection. They have already missed out on almost 5 years of my son's life. I'm so confused. Do I write a letter? Do I leave it alone? My son is curious....and starting asking questions. I will never brainwash my child and say hurtful things about his bio dad. Any advice will help. What is fair for my child?
I am in the same boat. My son will be 5 soon and has not met the bio father's side of the family. He pays CS but has terminated his rights. I have no contact with him. That was his choice and I am now ok with it. I want to do this for my child, (health history). I am so afraid of rejection. They have already missed out on almost 5 years of my son's life. I'm so confused. Do I write a letter? Do I leave it alone? My son is curious....and starting asking questions. I will never brainwash my child and say hurtful things about his bio dad. Any advice will help. What is fair for my child?
Write the letter. The worst that can happen is that they say they want nothing to do with you or your son and at least you'll know. On the other hand, the grandparents and his side of the family may think YOU want nothing to do with them because dad terminated his rights. You'll never know unless you ask.
Last edited by Lauriedeee; 06-27-2015 at 08:53 PM..
Thank you. We've continued to talk daily but have not met yet. I'm sharing pictures with them and we are getting to know each other slowly. They are genuinely nice and caring people. Her grandfather seems absolutely thrilled to get pictures of her. I'm really hopeful that this will be positive for both sides.
I think you did the right thing by informing them. As a grandparent myself, I'd want to know if I had another grandchild out there somewhere, and I'd also be kicking my son' s butt all the way to the child support office and I wouldn't care how old he was. I know you say you don't want child support, but please go for it. Your child deserves it.
I don't understand why you care so much if the bio dad get's angry. Does he get physically violent with you?
Whether he likes it or not, he made a child. It's half his responsibility to make sure that child is properly cared for. Think of her future. You may have a job setback and need that money, and I'm assuming she might want to go to college. He should be responsible for part of that too. Good luck and keep us posted.
This post is 2.5 years old, I would venture to guess any issues have been worked out already or are still being worked out.
I should really look at dates on posts.
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If as you say you don't need the child support...Forget him. Are your two older kids close? It would be great for them to get to know their little brother.
I should really look at dates on posts.
