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Originally Posted by Hurt and Heartbroken
OK ,not really sure how to start this but here it goes.
I don't know what to do .I have a almost 2 year old Grandson I hardly get to see. I am disabled and so is my husband . Which means our income is low.I live about a hour away from my son and daughter -in-law . The only way I get to see my Grandson is if i travel there to see him .My son and his wife often visits the city I now live in ,but never comes to see me. Moving closer to them is not something we can do .I need to be close to my doctors and hospital. I have Asthma ,lung damage,and COPD.
With my health problems ,I take a risk every time I visit them of becoming worse .There home is not clean and with three dogs and the dust I feel ill after being there. With them not wanting to come visit me at my home ,this causes me to be left out of their lives . I also get told that if I cared and was so worried about seeing them I would go to their home more often .Because I can't do to my health and with having limited funds for the gas to and from their home ,I am the Grandparent who is being left out .
I guess i should add that I am divorced from my son's father and he and his wife lives about 10 minutes from them and he get to see them all the time .
Am I wrong to at least want them to come to my home so I could be apart of his life ? It upsets me to see on Facebook that they have been in the city where I live but never stopped by to visit .Not even for a few minutes .I tell them about it and i am called a child and I need to grow up.That they are busy and always have an excuse not to come to my home.They never call or even talk to me on facebook,only when i post that i am unhappy they didn't stop by or refuse to come and see me . Then it becomes an argument .They tell me all i want is drama ...
What do I do to get them to come around and let me be the Grandmother that I have always wanted to be to my Grandson?
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I understand that it is hard for you to get out at all due to your health problems- but can you offer to meet them at a kid friendly place that might not exacerbate your lung conditions as badly as their home does? It would also cost less in gas.
You state that you used to smoke and sometimes still do. This may be part of the problem with them visiting. I used to be a smoker, so I get that it is not easy to quit but I always smoked outside and won't take my kids into the homes of people that smoke inside them. Yes, it is harsh but they probably do feel that if you buy smokes you could by gas.
As far as Facebook I understand it hurts to see that they are in town and not offering to see you but I would limit what you are posting to ONLY positive things no matter how you feel. Complaining publicly will only drive them farther away. You could post that you would love to meet them at where ever of miss them and that kind of leaves the ball in their court and people would see that. Or keep this issue off social media entirely. I have a family member that was telling people that I would never let her see the kids so I kept posting "hey wanna meet this week?". She would never respond but it allowed others to see that what she was saying was untrue. Also to be honest her guilt trips and pity parties made me want to visit her even less.
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