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Urbane Aspects, I am sorry for your dilemna. I cannot understand a grandmother turning away from the needs of her grandson. I can understand your aggravation.. I am also sorry that others are so quick to judge you without actually knowing you..I do hope that you will find a way to be able to stay and finish school. I have grandsons your age who I would not hesitate to allow to stay with me no matter how many people lived here..I would just tell everyome to move over a little. Less than 1 year ago besides myself and husband we had a daughter and her three children living with us AND two other grands three or four nights a week All in a 3 bedroom 2 bath house...I closed off a part of the tv room with curtains and cots for two of the grands. We made it because we were family and family takes care of each other..Good luck and God Bless
You know what; I made a mistake by posting this...
You people dont know me or my family and how it really is. On here it seems standard to reprimand me; but you guys dont know the real truth...Perhaps if I go on to tell you more you will understand; but I wont even bother.
I would of hoped that someone sees family as being one that sticks together,..but some of you are making it seem as if i'm irresponsible and am trying to get over on my family. Some of you have given good truthful advice; others have downright overlooked me.
Goodbye and I'll handle this among my family
I tried to give you the straight poop w/o being condescending or judgmental.
I think what you do not realize is that the people who have posted learned something that they are trying to pass on to you: You can't count on a single person in this life but yourself. That includes family. I didn't get into my story, either, but my parents paid for a partial amount of my first two years of college, none of my living expenses, and I was on my own to pay for EVERYTHING - tuition and living expenses from there on out. I worked three part time jobs and at one point, four part time jobs. And when I got out of school and needed help w/ an apartment and rent, no one gave me a CENT. I did not have money for food at one point (low paying job) and it was my friends who stepped in to let me borrow some cash to get through it. My parents felt that I had to learn to get along on my own in life - it wasn't that they didn't have the cash to help me out!!! I felt they were too hardass about it at the time and still do, but I understood their reasoning.
It is what it is! The fact that you are so angry is what is disturbing and why others have been hard on you. No one owes you a thing . . . and that is why everyone is saying - you have to figure things out and you can't depend on family. Might as well learn it now. You are responsible for you. I handle things differently w/ my own son, but I sometimes wonder if it is not making it easier for him to be LESS responsible when I step in and take care of everything for him. Your life's circumstances are what they are . . . and what we are telling you is . . . figure it out . . . and don't depend on anyone else . . . cause in the end, no one owes you a thing. You cannot count on family as they are not obligated to do squat for you.
Urbane Aspects, I am sorry for your dilemna. I cannot understand a grandmother turning away from the needs of her grandson. I can understand your aggravation.. I am also sorry that others are so quick to judge you without actually knowing you..I do hope that you will find a way to be able to stay and finish school. I have grandsons your age who I would not hesitate to allow to stay with me no matter how many people lived here..I would just tell everyome to move over a little. Less than 1 year ago besides myself and husband we had a daughter and her three children living with us AND two other grands three or four nights a week All in a 3 bedroom 2 bath house...I closed off a part of the tv room with curtains and cots for two of the grands. We made it because we were family and family takes care of each other..Good luck and God Bless
Thanks; thats really whats is it all about.
Family doesnt need to do anything, but they do it anyway because its worst to see your own in distress. If they dont give a damn; then they wont bother.
My question to all of you...if you had gotten to a point where you couldnt no longer care for yourself... or if something happened; whether it had been an illness or what not and you needed a ride to or from the hospital; would your kids say "no grandma/pa cant do it busy right now". I sure didnt say that when mine needed help
Family doesnt need to do anything, but they do it anyway because its worst to see your own in distress. If they dont give a damn; then they wont bother.
My question to all of you...if you had gotten to a point where you couldnt no longer care for yourself... or if something happened; whether it had been an illness or what not and you needed a ride to or from the hospital; would your kids say "no grandma/pa cant do it busy right now". I sure didnt say that when mine needed help
A ride to the hospital can not equate with letting someone actually MOVE IN to your home for months. Your sense of entitlement here is mind boggling!
Look, I understand your predicament and I hope you can work things out, but it is not your grandmothers job or obligation to bail you out. She is already bailing out a 40 something child of her own for pete's sake!
A ride to the hospital can not equate with letting someone actually MOVE IN to your home for months. Your sense of entitlement here is mind boggling!
Look, I understand your predicament and I hope you can work things out, but it is not your grandmothers job or obligation to bail you out. She is already bailing out a 40 something child of her own for pete's sake!
People dont get it...
Her son doesnt need to bailed out! He has an executive position as a public speaker!
He is much more able to get a place of his own; but chooses NOT TO.
I'm a student rummaging around for work in this ****ed up economy; He is a senior executive at at company. I'm feeling the greater effect and in need of the most help.
People have took the word independent further than it really means. They think someone who needs help is 'whining' and that they should 'do it themselves'. Yet everyone is a ***** to their bosses or their customers who they greatly DEPEND on. Take away those factors and they are in just as much need; even if its a temporary situation for 2 weeks for crying out loud...
months? it was only until June...3-4 weeks
Last edited by UrbaneAspects; 05-21-2008 at 01:11 PM..
What changed that you can't keep up with your rent? Loss of income? Additional debt?
Here's what you can do to get over this hump: prioritize your spending. Write down every bill you have and prioritize them. Your first priority is the roof over your head. You pay your rent. After that, you pay your utility bill to keep the lights on. note: cable TV and internet access are not utilities. They go way down at the bottom of your list. After utilities, you have to eat. That doesn't mean you budget for lattes and McDonalds - it means bread and peanut butter, ramen, and mac and cheese. You don't pay anyone to make food for you until you get past this. You buy what you can on sale. Don't bother spending money on alcohol or soft drinks or potato chips. You suck it up and keep the roof over your head. You can eat on $5 a day if you have to - even less. It won't be fun, but you won't starve.
If you have a job, try to get some extra hours. If you don't have a job, then for pete's sake get one. Lots of people go to school full time and have full time jobs.
Don't be mad at your grandma for not making your choices easy. You're an adult - take responsibility for yourself and find a solution to your problem that doesn't involve running back behind your relative's skirts.
Her son doesnt need to bailed out! He has an executive position as a public speaker!
He is much more able to get a place of his own; but chooses NOT TO.
How do you really know? It sounds as if her son is divorced. In your first post it says that his daughter is coming for the summer. Maybe alimony and child support are eating up everything he has. If that is the case, so what it has nothing to do with you or your situation.
In a perfect world, Grandma would welcome you with open arms, apparently that isn't the case. You need to move on. Move in with your friend, get back on your feet and get on with your life.
Not even close...they dont even know about that and that isnt none of your business to post that in here...
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All in a 3 bedroom 2 bath house...I closed off a part of the tv room with curtains and cots for two of the grands. We made it because we were family and family takes care of each other..Good luck and God Bless
