Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Part of the problem might be that they are uncomfortable with different apps and ways to use their phones. I’m 63 and still work full-time. Even though I use technology at work, I find social apps a waste of time and most rather silly. Keep in mind that your parents grew up not needing social media (because it didn’t exist, but that’s beside the point). They might think it’s just as easy to call or text and be done with it. I have an older sibling who is afraid she will break or delete something (but she tends not to focus on what she’s doing LOL). Another possibility is that maybe they don’t see the screen as well as they would like (some old people don’t want to admit when they need help or adjustments) so they don’t change what they know.
After saying all that - and I NEVER thought I’d say this - I’m going to learn how to play video games so that I can surprise my grandson.
You might be able get them interested by showing them videos, how to access them, how to make their own, how to share them. That could be the introduction they need.
As for the second, the only thing that worked for my mother-in-law was when she unfortunately missed out on some fun event like meeting an old friend who was in town or going out for a meal with the grandkids, because she wasn't looking at her phone and never saw / heard our message.
If someone doesn't use text or voicemail much, that doesn't seem the best way of contacting them. Surely you (and probably also her old friend) knew this about her and could've found another way to communicate plans? It sounds a little punitive.
There seems to be a belief among people who are addicted to their smart phones that everyone else should be, too, and if they aren't, they "don't deserve" to be included in things. Not very nice.
To answer the OP's question, she should take her cue from them and let them tell her what, if anything, they want to learn. Some of us find it all a bit overwhelming and most of it more than a bit unnecessary.
Last edited by otterhere; 02-02-2024 at 09:11 PM..
My best piece of advice for helping someone if any age is to not just demonstrate and have them try it themselves once, keep doing it while you’re there until it’s easy and familiar. Stand by while they make a few calls, ask Siri for weather or setting a timer, turning off the timer, answering the phone, starting and stopping music, etc. then do it again the next time you visit.
Keep in mind you need to instruct with good will, patience, and a smile. If the person teaching me something gets impatient, I’m immediately going to lose interest in learning.
For elderly learners, I found this helpful with my dad - anything that seems problematic, write out the very detailed step by step instructions. If there are mobility issues to get to the instructions or vision problems, write it out on a huge poster board and prop it where your “trainee” can see it. Keep a photo of the directions for yourself so when you get the inevitable panicked call after you’re back home, you can read off the exact directions the other person is looking at too.
Anticipate issues, like if the wrong thing is tapped, how to always get back to the book or the Home Screen.
I am currently trying to get my parents regularly use and wear the iPhone I bought for them. Any tips and tricks how to make them wear it more often and therefore answer my calls?
Define regularly? How often are you trying to get an answer to your calls? Define senior, are we talking someone in their late fifties or early eighties or?
What you want from them might sound reasonable to you, maybe not so reasonable from their POV. It sounds as though they aren't all that interested, they may not find it as 'necessary' as you do. Do they have some other preferred method for contact, even if it's one you find out dated?
No way on earth any kind of phone is attached to me 24/7 like my kids do. It's use is for my convenience, not to be at the beck and call of every scammer out there (now averaging at least 3 scam calls a day), so I check my phone maybe once or twice a day, if I remember. It goes with me when I leave the house. Most of the time it sits on a table in another room where I don't pay it any mind unless I need to make a call or want to text someone.
Until I get to a point that my health gets so bad I feel the need for a daily check-in with my kids, I doubt very much I will ever have the same kind of interest in 'wearing' a phone the same way my kids do.
Might keep in mind that as some of us get older it is harder to see small text and "hit" those small buttons on the screen. It can be quite frustrating.
I buy those rubber tipped styluses on eBay a dozen at a time and always use them. I don’t have particularly large fingers but my nails are long.
My biggest problem is keeping it charged. I finally started charging it every night whether it needed it or not. I wish I could get Mr. Dokie to do the same. His phone is dead probably 1/3 of the time.
I'm a senior and got my smartphone during the pandemic. I was perfectly happy with my landline, but I was getting flack for "living in the stone age". There was a learning curve.
All I can say is - kids today will never know the satisfaction of slamming down the phone receiver when hanging up on someone. Now, all they can do is poke at their screen angrily
No way on earth any kind of phone is attached to me 24/7 like my kids do. It's use is for my convenience, not to be at the beck and call of every scammer out there (now averaging at least 3 scam calls a day), so I check my phone maybe once or twice a day, if I remember. It goes with me when I leave the house. Most of the time it sits on a table in another room where I don't pay it any mind unless I need to make a call or want to text someone...I doubt very much I will ever have the same kind of interest in 'wearing' a phone the same way my kids do.
This. It's an addiction, and some of us (wisely) choose to avoid it. We realize it won't enhance our quality of life, and the disadvantages of being attached to it 24/7 outweigh the advantages. That's not how we choose to live. But yes, it drives phone addicts, including probably the OP, crazy! And many of these today ARE "seniors." The worst offenders when it comes to taking hundreds of candid photos of others - whether they like it or not - and photo-dumping them unedited on social media (with tags) are my fellow older women, and I was once told that I "must not want friends" because I'm not constantly talking and texting on a "smart" phone throughout the day and sometimes night as well. Again, "teach" only what they want to learn.
There seems to be a belief among people who are addicted to their smart phones that everyone else should be, too, and if they aren't, they "don't deserve" to be included in things. Not very nice.
So true. And part of a bigger problem, e.g., government services and banking services that only work if you have a cellphone and a computer and know what you are doing, which tends to exclude ( some ) people. Newer "systems" seem to be designed by people with little appreciation for the challenges of people unlike themselves.
So far I am keeping up, but it does generate stress.
I like my smart phone. It's great for finding restaurants and other businesses, and even gives me step by step directions (though I try not to just rely on that, so if the system fails, I can still find my way).
But I don't like that other people assume I use my phone the way they do.
Like the doctor who left urgent info in my cellphone a few years ago, back when the landline was preferred and I only checked my cell a few times a week.
Or people who don't leave a message, because they never listen to their voice mail and expect me to call them back just because they called.
Or text groups, where each person in the group seems to have a different set of people they send to, so I get just part of the conversation. (Who the hell is Hattie, and why are we discussing her?) And the texts are just labeled as coming from the group, so I don't know who said what.
I also miss coming home and checking the answering machine.
We seniors have tried and true preferred ways of doing things, which may be different from how you do things. Maybe adapt to your parents' system instead of trying to make them adapt to yours.
Young whippersnapper!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
