Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A church is a human institution, run by human beings with human failings. There are churches with an embracing culture where all members are valued and there are churches that succumb to the worst impulses of human nature, dividing into cliques. Pick up and move to a different church, one that nurtures your ideals.
Right on People put Christians on a pedestal like they're not supposed to do wrong. Christians are no different than you or me; they lie, cheat and steal just like everyone else. Is it right? No, but it is what it is
Church bullies, in theory should be an oxymoron, but in reality they do exist and are very common. That is one reason why I don't go to church anymore
It may be a reason to stop going to THAT church in particular if things cannot be solved but I don't think it is a good reason to stop looking for your high being or whatever you do at a church. It's like someone saying they won't study anymore because someone in school is mean.
Unfortunately there will be bad people not only in church but in your office, at the gym, at the sporting event, etc. Yet, people don't stop going to those places just because someone gave them a mean look or something while in church people seem to be more sensitive and if someone didn't, say, smile at them, then they feel completely hurt and disrespected.
During the years that we've attended church, we've never heard of any bullying done. I've talked to some people, after church, that didn't agree with my thoughts, but they weren't nasty about it. I think the OP needs to say more about what is going on......did the friend say something to set someone off or did someone say something to the friend that the friend didn't like. There ARE two sides to all stories!
The church we use to attend seemed real "clickish"/unfriendly. After the Service, we stood in the middle of the Atrium where donuts/coffee were being served (not free) and NOBODY said a word to us! No "welcome", "hello".....nothing. Also, while attending this church, we noticed a number of people coming to church sick. We head sneezing, coughing and decided not to go back. Our immune system isn't as good as it was years ago. We are in our early 60's.
A really good friend of mine is a member of an american baptist church. We met in college, so I've known her for 20 something years. She is the kindest, friendliest and most considerate person you'll ever meet. For the last several months she's been confiding in me that she's been bullied by some people within the church, and one of them is the pastor's wife. It has come to the point that she and her family want to change church. Does bulling happen in churches? I've never been a church goer and did not grow up in that scenerio. I understand bullies can be found everywhere people are, and I believe her, but find it hard to except the fact that people who say they live by the fruits of the spirit, can actually be quite mean and gossipy. If so, why bother attending church? Is it only for socializing?
When people become Christians, some of their weakness (their bad nature) is still with them. They sometimes don't understand they are being bad (like some mother's in law don't get it (like on Everybody Loves Raymond), OR they can't cotrol their bad nature.
It's one thing to WISH to live by the Spirit, but it's another thing to actually be able to do it.
So that's why some people are still "sinners" as they say, even though they converted
The type of bullying would help here. Are they being judgemental for how she is acting or living her life? Are they doing so in a judgemental way?
I would say if she is being bullied, then it may not be the church for her, and she should pray about whether she should seek a new church. Maybe start going to some other churches to "try" them out (although, she should go a few times. Attending once can give a misleading picture).
The definition of "bullying" has become way too broad, thanks to the ridiculous "war on bullying" being waged by the current crop of bedwetting parents out there hellbent on raising a generation of wimps.
I highly doubt that a grown woman is receiving wedgies, swirlies, or getting her lunch money forcibly taken from her in church.
It is highly possible that many of the other church members are catty, gossipy, and cliquish. I grew up in a church where lots of the adults were like that. That isn't "bullying," though.
Many moons ago when I was young and impressionable I was attending a church where some of the older women were 'rehabilitating ' me from 'living in sin' with my boyfriend. I was working at the Drs office where the pastor's wife worked. I decided to move back in with my boyfriend after a few weeks. The pastor's b*tch of a wife made my life hell. She told the Manager of the practice I was not to be trusted because I had 'fallen away' so they demoted me. She eventually made my life so miserable I left that job.
Such evil people, just hideous, mean spirited ad plain old nasty. Through my years of being involved with various churches I learned not to trust anyone, they are as corrupt as wicked as a bunch of Italian mobsters.
Tell your friend to find another church and stop being so psychologically invested in what has the potential to be a den of vipers.
Any community, by nature of being a group of people, has the potential to become cliquish and insular. I've been familiar with churches that are very much this way, as well as those that aren't.
A really good friend of mine is a member of an american baptist church. We met in college, so I've known her for 20 something years. She is the kindest, friendliest and most considerate person you'll ever meet. For the last several months she's been confiding in me that she's been bullied by some people within the church, and one of them is the pastor's wife. It has come to the point that she and her family want to change church. Does bulling happen in churches? I've never been a church goer and did not grow up in that scenerio. I understand bullies can be found everywhere people are, and I believe her, but find it hard to except the fact that people who say they live by the fruits of the spirit, can actually be quite mean and gossipy. If so, why bother attending church? Is it only for socializing?
Tell her to find a new church. If those people are determined to dislike her, nothing she will do will be good enough.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
People put Christians on a pedestal like they're not supposed to do wrong. Christians are no different than you or me; they lie, cheat and steal just like everyone else. Is it right? No, but it is what it is
