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Another reason I stopped going is because that church was too politically conservative, which might explain why they weren't very nice. They supported GWB and the Iraq War, which I didn't agree with (it was back in 2003). I remember going to bible studies on a Friday night and one guy in our prayers would thank God that we have a good Christian president.
That's not universally true. I only go to churches that tend more towards the liberal b/c I can't relate to the types you're talking about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68
There are people on this earth who slaughter, rape, and murder one another in the name of religion, why should it surprise you that someone could be bullied by some mental midgets of a congregation? Tell her to find a new church, problem solved.
The problem with that is that the bully wins. They want you to go elsewhere which is why they do it. Why not stay and be a thorn in their side?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pimpy
The definition of "bullying" has become way too broad, thanks to the ridiculous "war on bullying" being waged by the current crop of bedwetting parents out there hellbent on raising a generation of wimps.
I highly doubt that a grown woman is receiving wedgies, swirlies, or getting her lunch money forcibly taken from her in church.
It is highly possible that many of the other church members are catty, gossipy, and cliquish. I grew up in a church where lots of the adults were like that. That isn't "bullying," though.
I'd venture to say that gossip has caused more suicides than wedgies have.
I stayed away from church for years b/c of all the hypocrites and the TV preachers (are those categories exclusive?) One day God slapped me and the idea came unbidden into my mind that even if every Christian in the world is a hypocrite, Jesus still spoke truth. I had a pastor try to bully me several years ago and she wanted me to leave so bad but I dug in and stayed, though I was thinking hard about leaving. The only reason I didn't is because there was no other church of my denomination in the area and I was just getting ready to leave anyway and was about to make my announcement but that bad old pastor beat me to it and quit first. Honestly she was just the most unpleasant and immature woman.
A really good friend of mine is a member of an american baptist church. We met in college, so I've known her for 20 something years. She is the kindest, friendliest and most considerate person you'll ever meet. For the last several months she's been confiding in me that she's been bullied by some people within the church, and one of them is the pastor's wife. It has come to the point that she and her family want to change church. Does bulling happen in churches? I've never been a church goer and did not grow up in that scenerio. I understand bullies can be found everywhere people are, and I believe her, but find it hard to except the fact that people who say they live by the fruits of the spirit, can actually be quite mean and gossipy. If so, why bother attending church? Is it only for socializing?
Doesn't surprise me , I stopped going to church after I found out the pastor had an affair with one of the ushers
I'd like to add to this discussion after reflection. I think a Christian's behavior should be that of humility in relation to others. Walk into the doors of a church and it shouldn't matter how you earn your living, where you live, or anything else. Instead, as the Baptismal Covenant goes, you pledge to respect the dignity of every person.
Now human nature being what it is, there will be some failings. But a good church really upholds these egalitarian beliefs, rather than according status.
That being said, there are those who want to take pride in their own goodness, and the only way to manifest that is to point out the flaws in others. This is not a proper response and has no place in a church at all.
Not everybody who goes to church has the fruit of the spirit, due to the fact they are not all Christians.The people who are bullying her are power hungry and are in it for themselves.
Bullying for a lot of people has nothing to do with being physically injured. Have you not seen the stories in the news about teens bullied at school and online (basically psychologically tortured) to the point where they killed themselves? Just because there are no bruises doesn't mean no harm is done.
Beware of the Righteous, the true Believers, they can be meaner than hell. Seek out the gentlest people in the congregation, the ones who may doubt at times, and who do not spout how wonderfully upright they and their families are. And never tell your business to anyone in a church setting. Smile and shake hands and eat donuts. And pray quietly in your pew.
Beware of the Righteous, the true Believers, they can be meaner than hell. Seek out the gentlest people in the congregation, the ones who may doubt at times, and who do not spout how wonderfully upright they and their families are. And never tell your business to anyone in a church setting. Smile and shake hands and eat donuts. And pray quietly in your pew.
Actually...they're mentioned as the "self-righteous" in the scripture. The true believers are the righteous with God and his neighbors who seek the truth with love and patience.
The problem with that is that the bully wins. They want you to go elsewhere which is why they do it. Why not stay and be a thorn in their side?
Hmm...yes, to a certain extent. However, many people don't develop thick skin over night. IMO, these social skills are developed best when a person knows how to protect themselves.
Hmm...yes, to a certain extent. However, many people don't develop thick skin over night. IMO, these social skills are developed best when a person knows how to protect themselves.
Yes I agree and it depends on the situation, but believe me, I'm the "over-sensitive" one and tend to draw bullies and sometimes you just have to decide that people aren't going to push you around anymore. You get tired of always being the one to leave.
One thing I have noticed about bullies is that they're the biggest cowards around--they will bully you only when they have the upper hand. Since I have a real dislike for public scenes, bullies generally choose to try to embarrass me in front of a group b/c they learn quickly that I won't bite back in those situations. Sometimes they get a surprise.
"There are more snakes in this world than bunnies."
I would say that it would also apply to a building where a church service is being held.
Sure, there are many bunnies, but twice as many undercover vipers!!
Need not say more...point well taken!!!
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