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i am confused by your use of he word bully. for me (chicago) this means a bloody nose and sore ribs. you just mean domineering female behavior? very common pecking behavior among southern women.
dominance is not a male game. i suspect that this issue-- that you are not comfortable with-- also shows up in other invironments-- no?
Bullying for a lot of people has nothing to do with being physically injured. Have you not seen the stories in the news about teens bullied at school and online (basically psychologically tortured) to the point where they killed themselves? Just because there are no bruises doesn't mean no harm is done.
Yes, and it's masked very well. I have a good friend who is on staff at a church (okay, he runs the whole place) and I would need a thread just dedicated to the stories he has told me, and that's just one person at one church who is trying their best to not be part of it...
i am confused by your use of he word bully. for me (chicago) this means a bloody nose and sore ribs. you just mean domineering female behavior? very common pecking behavior among southern women.
dominance is not a male game. i suspect that this issue-- that you are not comfortable with-- also shows up in other invironments-- no?
Bullying is present whenever an individual or group attempts to intimidate and upset a targeted person with looks, words, actions, gossip, physically aggressive behavior--this can be overt or covert.
It is done to arouse feelings of shame, fear, self-loathing, embarrassment, terror within its intended target. In this light "just domineering female behavior" intended to be harmful becomes harmful. I'm a southern woman, but I call people out on that "Social Pecking Order" bullsh** whenever I encounter it. It's cruel, it's exclusion, it's meant for harm and the perpetrators need to grow up and admit they're doing it just because of a raging insecurity they can't control.
Well, in point of fact, people who behave like your friend describes are the very ones who NEED church... We should do all we can to encourage them to stay and assimilate the messages they hear about Christ.
Bullying for a lot of people has nothing to do with being physically injured. Have you not seen the stories in the news about teens bullied at school and online (basically psychologically tortured) to the point where they killed themselves? Just because there are no bruises doesn't mean no harm is done.
Sad but true...I believe the "Virginia Tech shooting in 2007" was also of this nature.
A church is a human institution, run by human beings with human failings. There are churches with an embracing culture where all members are valued and there are churches that succumb to the worst impulses of human nature, dividing into cliques. Pick up and move to a different church, one that nurtures your ideals.
Agreed,
Seriously, builling in church...just when you thought you heard it all!
A really good friend of mine is a member of an american baptist church. We met in college, so I've known her for 20 something years. She is the kindest, friendliest and most considerate person you'll ever meet. For the last several months she's been confiding in me that she's been bullied by some people within the church, and one of them is the pastor's wife. It has come to the point that she and her family want to change church. Does bulling happen in churches? I've never been a church goer and did not grow up in that scenerio. I understand bullies can be found everywhere people are, and I believe her, but find it hard to except the fact that people who say they live by the fruits of the spirit, can actually be quite mean and gossipy. If so, why bother attending church? Is it only for socializing?
Everywhere there are human beings, there are human conflicts, good people and bad people. There are jealousies, sexual tensions, affairs, bullying, hypocrisy, abuse, you name it. Church is no exception.
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reminds a bit of the movie
