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Thank you. The word threatened is probably close enough; other terms for what the OP is talking about might also be described as alarm, browbeat, bully, caution, coerce, cow, frighten, intimidate, portend, predict, pressure, scare, warn, etc.
How about the word advise? and truth?
Women feel emotions more, like 'regret'. A candid loving forthright discussion might be the right words at the right time for the right reason. Women of strength and character will impart such wisdom.
I'd rather be hated for the truth then loved for a lie.
Women feel emotions more, like 'regret'. A candid loving forthright discussion might be the right words at the right time for the right reason. Women of strength and character will impart such wisdom.
I'd rather be hated for the truth then loved for a lie.
Advise and truth are positive words and not in the same ballpark as threatened. To be threatened strikes me as being along the lines of all those old religious threats that if you don't do what we tell you is the right thing to do, the right way to live your life, then you are going burn in eternal hell and not enter into the Kingdom.
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At least where I live, older women are generally VERY involved with their adult kids and grandkids. Husbands may die or divorce you, friends may die or fall out with you, neighbors may die or move away, but the clan is forever. I see them babysitting the grandkids, going out to eat, going to special events, going on vacation as a unit, even living together. Not every female is "adept at making social connections," and this is a built-in support group. I assume you're a young woman? I felt the same way at your age, but now I wish I'd taken others' advice and had a family of my own because, yeah, actually, it IS kind of lonely when you get older. Sorry! Sometimes you don't know what you don't know...yet. (And I believe the word you were searching for was "warned" rather than "threatened.")
Women feel emotions more, like 'regret'. A candid loving forthright discussion might be the right words at the right time for the right reason. Women of strength and character will impart such wisdom.
I'd rather be hated for the truth then loved for a lie.
And I think the truth is, many women are not finding themselves, ourselves, happier for the independence and advanced ambition we were told would bring us happiness and fulfillment. Life meaning to be found through independence and career? I don't think so. I don't think the younger more progressive generations are happier. The headlines today are about loneliness and depression.
I think most happy people look back and find the biggest value in the family and relationships they made. I think that's the truth.
At least where I live, older women are generally VERY involved with their adult kids and grandkids. Husbands may die or divorce you, friends may die or fall out with you, neighbors may die or move away, but the clan is forever. I see them babysitting the grandkids, going out to eat, going to special events, going on vacation as a unit, even living together. Not every female is "adept at making social connections," and this is a built-in support group. I assume you're a young woman? I felt the same way at your age, but now I wish I'd taken others' advice and had a family of my own because, yeah, actually, it IS kind of lonely when you get older. Sorry! Sometimes you don't know what you don't know...yet. (And I believe the word you were searching for was "warned" rather than "threatened.")
I divorced my husband of 14 years almost 15 years ago so I’m not young and inexperienced by any means. I see that many conservative males post videos on YouTube about women needing to marry and have children otherwise they’re going to wind up like the 40+ year old woman (of which I am), alone, bored and without meaning (of which me and many others like me are not). But that’s the thing - I’m very happy, in shape and financially secure. I can date if that’s what I want without the burden of a relationship which I still don’t want.
Not to sound terrible, but it makes me cringe when I see women on welfare with young kids, and on a food line because they cannot make ends meet. Why did they have children? (Take a look at migrant women as an example). I think it’s because they think that this is what they think they’re supposed to do. I also feel that women are bamboozled into thinking they need to be paired to escape loneliness. But none of these things are true.
And by the way, I’ve never babysat nor do I feel capable of doing that nor do I want to take care of crying babies. I’d rather go drink at a club with my friends. This is the problem- many women - including older ones, are molded into what people want them to be. You’re old, so cook, clean and take care of the grandkids.
To the OP point, I don't think people bring it up with men as much for two reasons
1) Society as a whole, doesn't care about men to the same extent as women.
2) Childless women is a new phenomenon. While large numbers of childless men have been around forever.
Studies vary but somewhere around 50% of all men whom have ever walked the earth got the opportunity to reproduce. This is contrast with 90% of women. Easy to see why society finds it more shocking for women and therefore more prone to speak out.
I think that is the answer to the question, men have traditionally been the disposable sex, so the relationships females have are traditionally far more important to socieity. If women have no relationships of the sexual kind - society will end
Why is it that everyone always throws the response of, "If you don't have children or get married, you will be lonely when you grow older." This comment is always made towards young women but never to men.
What makes people think that all women want to be married with children (which I personally see as a ball and chain), and even worse - that they want to have children? The thought of having children makes me shiver because it is too much of a responsibility that I never wanted.
Also, why is "growing old and alone" a subject for women to fear, but never directed at men? Not even gay men are told that.
Here's what I think:
1. This is to put pressure on women into thinking they need a man and babies to be happy
2. Men can only feel like men if and only if women are dependent on them
3. Men who make these types of videos on YouTube fear that they are losing control over women
Also, what makes people think that if they have a family, that they will never be lonely? Seriously, this is why people cheat, divorce, and/or never visit their parents after their parents age.
A friend of mine in her 50's had the perfect husband and child. Her husband recently died of a sudden heart attack and her son is now going off to college. Now she's complaining about being lonely. Meanwhile, I'm not. I never that those losses.
In my case as a male, the same question is usually asked a bit differently, it more like "When are you going to settle down and find a girl". (IE when are you going to stop travelling the world, hooking up, and hold down a job for more than 2 years).
We are all able to make our own decisions, if you don’t ant kids all the power to you.
Growing up old and lonely is something a lot of men do fear, and I dare say growing up lonely is a far greater reality for men than women, if any of the current research on male loneliness epidemic is to be used as a guide.
Its a subject to fear as the very real outcomes of loneliness are things like substance abuse and suicide.
Why is it that everyone always throws the response of, "If you don't have children or get married, you will be lonely when you grow older." This comment is always made towards young women but never to men.
What makes people think that all women want to be married with children (which I personally see as a ball and chain), and even worse - that they want to have children? The thought of having children makes me shiver because it is too much of a responsibility that I never wanted.
Also, why is "growing old and alone" a subject for women to fear, but never directed at men? Not even gay men are told that.
Here's what I think:
1. This is to put pressure on women into thinking they need a man and babies to be happy
2. Men can only feel like men if and only if women are dependent on them
3. Men who make these types of videos on YouTube fear that they are losing control over women
Also, what makes people think that if they have a family, that they will never be lonely? Seriously, this is why people cheat, divorce, and/or never visit their parents after their parents age.
A friend of mine in her 50's had the perfect husband and child. Her husband recently died of a sudden heart attack and her son is now going off to college. Now she's complaining about being lonely. Meanwhile, I'm not. I never that those losses.
Fast forward a few years, when your health is failing. Think of your "support group" when you have a physical (or mental) incapacitation. If they're not "family" they can't make legal decisions for you, unless they're directed in your Trust. . Doctors won't even be allowed to discuss your condition/prognosis. (HIPAA.)
Not to worry about this, as only 70% of people have some form of incapacitation during their lives. Hey, it's only 70%. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky 30%.
Fast forward a few years, when your health is failing. Think of your "support group" when you have a physical (or mental) incapacitation. If they're not "family" they can't make legal decisions for you, unless they're directed in your Trust. . Doctors won't even be allowed to discuss your condition/prognosis. (HIPAA.)
Not to worry about this, as only 70% of people have some form of incapacitation during their lives. Hey, it's only 70%. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky 30%.
This is a very selfish reason to get married in my opinion. As a married man with kids, if I was ever incapacitated, I would NEVER burden my family with being a caregiver. Even if I was alone, it is possible to have a plan in place that will to meet your needs as you mentioned, so why insist one should marry? If someone chooses to grow old alone, they should be free to do so without others commenting because at the end of the day, it really isnt any of there business. Marriage should be about love rather than having a hidden agenda.
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