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Actually, it’s not as good as people think. Apparently there is a high level of salt in cremated remains and it can be very harmful for plants. So if you do something like that you really have to spread it.
Actually if I knew then what I know now, I would find a green burial place and bury my husband that way. In a willow coffin. 4 feet under.
Well, this is very close to the ocean. Maybe people spread them a lot, I don't know.
A number of churches and cemeteries now have scattering gardens. You can scatter your father’s ashes at one of those places, I believe there’s a fee involved because there’s a marker of some sort, like a memorial wall or something. This is a newer idea so not everything place has this. But it’s becoming more common.
Now that's a nice idea! With cemetery land becoming more scarce all the time. None of us ever visited our sister's grave, so cremation seems much more logical.
We scattered our parents' ashes under a sycamore in their yard---as my dad was so proud of his big green lawn that was the site of many weddings.
We just scattered a friend's ashes in the Pacific in a kind of ceremony recently. It was so touching...
when my dad died, I knew right away that I wanted a place that I could visit to put his ashes. We bought an inurnment niche in a beautiful historic cemetery - one that promote use of the space by the living too, in a way that I find makes my dad feel close when I'm there.
It's also turned out to be very comforting for my mom. She visits there when she wants, and she has a sense of relief that her own final arrangements are taken care of because she picked out a double urn for when her time comes. And I like that the grandkids will have a place to go to - if they want. No obligations, but it's there if desired. The cemetery provides permanent upkeep, so no one has to worry about it, but if they want a beautiful, peaceful place to visit and remember, it's there.
The ashes of the previous owner of my house (who died 7 years before we bought the place) are in a little stone alcove on a rock in my yard. Still in their plastic box. Neighbor said he loved this place, and it would be fine to scatter them here, but we haven't done it yet. He's quiet, and doesn't leave a mess around...
I guess some ashes just get thrown away.
Did your dad have a special place?
Do you have a place you like?
I just got my dad's cremated ashes in the mail today. I have no idea what to do with it. I have no desire to put it in an urn and move it around with me and pass it to my kids who barely knew him. Scattering it in an ocean is just not realistic. I don't even want to open the bag that contains the ashes. My siblings said they don't want it. Any ideas what to do?
Scatter them at an outdoor location he loved most.
My mother-in-law passed away before I met my ex-husband, and there were a lot of conflicting opinions among the family as to what to do with her ashes. The discussion turned into arguments and got really ugly. This led my father-in-law to put her ashes aside until the siblings could calm down and reach an agreement. Years later, when my husband and his siblings finally convinced their father they could come to some kind of agreement on what to do with the ashes, he couldn't find them. He had moved several times since her death and they had been thrown out by mistake.
Moral of this story: It's fine to take your time to decide, but make sure you know where they are when a decision is finally made.
If you buy an urn from a mortuary they will put the ashes in it for you. My sister is going to have her ashes put in the same urn as her husband and placed in a niche. My DH is buried in a veterans cemetery. I will be cremated and placed with him. I considered asking to be spread over the grand canyon, but I want to make things easy for whoever deals with my remains.
I'll be dead - it's not like I will know or care what happens.
Buried my parent's ashes on their land which was their wishes.
My great and great great grandparents are in a family cemetery on what was at that time, the family farm. I should say they're all buried there except my great grandmother. She's buried in the city cemetery in the town where they lived. She told them from day one, "You ain't gonna bury me out with the cows and horses!"
My dad wanted his ashes spread over the family farm and I did put many out there but I kept a small urn of them. When my mom died two years later, I bought side by side niches and put their urns in them. I liked the idea of them being close in death. When my husband unexpectedly died last year I bought a niche above theirs for his ashes too.
The fronts of the niches just have their names and the dates of their birth and death. But I like that. My grandmother wanted her body to be buried next to her mother's body. For decades the idea of her body moldering in the grave so to speak has bothered me. That's when I realized cremation was my preference and gladly it was that of my parents and husband as well. Since I am only 59 I didn't buy the niche next to my husband because frankly I want my kids to decide what to do with me - I'll be dead and don't really care though I do hope they choose cremation. Or I might be remarried, who knows? Anyway, I hope I have a lot more years on this earth but if not, oh well.
I don't personally like the idea of having someone's ashes in my house in an urn. I didn't even like having my cat's ashes, so I scattered them in the yard, which is where he liked to be anyway. I have known people who have an urn with ashes in it and to each his or her own, but I know my great uncle's ashes sat in the barn in a box for decades because no one wanted them in their house! I do have a little gazing ball in my garden and it has a few of my mom's ashes in it, because she loved gardening. I also have a little pewter heart with a tiny amount of my husband's ashes in it. It doesn't have his name or anything on it and doesn't look like it holds ashes, but it was very comforting for me to sleep with it clutched in my hand for a few months after he died. I haven't needed to do that in a long time though.
That's the thing about ashes - you aren't limited to putting them all in one place or putting an urn on your mantel! LOL I like it.
My daughter bought everyone in the family a small necklace with a few of my dad's ashes in them. Personally I didn't care for that but it meant a lot to her to give them to family members so OK. I have mine put up.
I had the undertaker cut a lock of my husband's hair before he was cremated and I have a few strands of it in a necklace though. I don't wear it but I like to look at the necklace sometimes.
So everyone is different but there are lots and lots of options. Get on Amazon and look at their memorial containers or whatever they call them.
my father died in 2005,being a veteran he was furnished a marker and the VA also furnished one for my mom. Its strange but when you go to my dads grave my moms is next to it with her name and date of birth. the only thing missing is her date of death. I told her after she passes and we have her cremated that I will spread her ashes on my fathers grave. I told her I would not notify the cemetary and leave her date of passing blank........people will walk past and think "wow is she still with us!
Our son passed away before us suddenly. We have written in our trust that 1/2 of his ashes will be buried with each of us.
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