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Against the law to disperse ash, unless you're in International waters.
I don't believe this is universally true, it seems that each state (along with the Federal Government) has their own rules on this. Utah, for instance, has very liberal rules as to how cremains may be spread, I placed my Mom's at her favorite mountain lake. Chemically, they are simply calcium, with some trace elements, and are completely sterile due to the heat of cremation. I imagine you could grind up some limestone and not be able to distinguish it from cremains without maybe involving a chemist. Her bones were formed from the land in northern Utah, and that's where they were returned.
I always said "the ash stops with me". When I go, provided my estranged husband went before me, there will be 8 sets of ashes, 6 human and 2 beloved pet dogs. All are in urns in display in my home. Without discussion I knew my child would not want to to take possession of or be responsible for 8 urns containing cremains.
Husband passed last fall, so now I made a major decision. All are going in a columbarium at my church. Husband and his beloved dog in one slot, me and my beloved dog in the attached slot (dog is already there waiting for me now. Husband and his dog are already in their final resting place). Had to purchase 1 additional 2 slots drawer. Now just waiting for the church member in charge to set a date for me to inter the other family members and I will be the only one my Executor has to deal with.
It feels strange because I have had some of my loved ones "with me" since 1992. Never thought this day would arrive. Time waits for no one.
I always said "the ash stops with me". When I go, provided my estranged husband went before me, there will be 8 sets of ashes, 6 human and 2 beloved pet dogs. All are in urns in display in my home. Without discussion I knew my child would not want to to take possession of or be responsible for 8 urns containing cremains.
Husband passed last fall, so now I made a major decision. All are going in a columbarium at my church. Husband and his beloved dog in one slot, me and my beloved dog in the attached slot (dog is already there waiting for me now. Husband and his dog are already in their final resting place). Had to purchase 1 additional 2 slots drawer. Now just waiting for the church member in charge to set a date for me to inter the other family members and I will be the only one my Executor has to deal with.
It feels strange because I have had some of my loved ones "with me" since 1992. Never thought this day would arrive. Time waits for no one.
I'm not sure who your executor is, but just in general, thank you for stepping up and taking care of this. I know that while she's hoping not to use it for quite a while, there is comfort for my mom that we made all the arrangements when my dad died a few years ago, and everything is ready when the time comes and it won't be a source of stress for my sibling and me.
At some point I intend to do the same for myself and not leave my son with the responsibility to organize it all, but it's possible I could relocate in retirement and would want to make local arrangements for wherever I end up so it's a little premature.
I'm not sure who your executor is, but just in general, thank you for stepping up and taking care of this. I know that while she's hoping not to use it for quite a while, there is comfort for my mom that we made all the arrangements when my dad died a few years ago, and everything is ready when the time comes and it won't be a source of stress for my sibling and me.
At some point I intend to do the same for myself and not leave my son with the responsibility to organize it all, but it's possible I could relocate in retirement and would want to make local arrangements for wherever I end up so it's a little premature.
I'm thinking ahead to what my survivors will have to deal with while inching closer to dealing with my own parents end. Fortunately they have a trust, burial plots (where some members of 4 generations of family are), and some instructions...mostly of what NOT to do! We've all talked about it for years and agree that we just don't want to cause problems for anyone. I can't make too many arrangements for myself beyond "cremate me and scatter someplace" because, like you, I don't know where we will be. But I can also say what NOT to do...do not store me in that cemetery with the other relatives because that place sucks!
Remembered a story told by a woman I worked with who had been in the Navy. One of the men who served on the ship died, and his family had his body cremated and the ashes sent back to the ship to have them scattered at sea.
The officers on the ship arranged to take a video of the scattering of the ashes for the family. My coworker was part of the color guard for the ceremony. At the moment they opened the urn to let the ashes fly, a sudden wind picked them up and blew the ashes back toward the ship and all over the dress blues of the Navy personnel in attendance. They brushed them off as best they could and sent their dead colleague back out into the wind, but it was awkward and they had to explain to the family what happened when they sent the video over. No word on how the family reacted. I know mine would have laughed.
When my mom and I were attempting to put a bit of dad in the bay by Barnegat Light, a gust of wind blew some of him back. Gritty.
Husband passed last fall, so now I made a major decision. All are going in a columbarium at my church. Husband and his beloved dog in one slot, me and my beloved dog in the attached slot (dog is already there waiting for me now. Husband and his dog are already in their final resting place). Had to purchase 1 additional 2 slots drawer. Now just waiting for the church member in charge to set a date for me to inter the other family members and I will be the only one my Executor has to deal with.
Most cemeteries, at least, charge sometimes massive fees every time something is interred or even opened.
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