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My mom (age 77) was at end stage of copd. She was hospitalized for the last time about in December. After a week stay in the hospital, they recommended rehab to help her regain the ability to walk at least with a walker or at best to be able to help with any transfers like getting out of bed and such. The day came to have her transferred to rehab. We (my youngest sister) got mom settled in and we left to go home. I had the strongest feeling of doom. She didn't do real good with therapy, so my sister and I where working on what can we do to bring her home and take care of her properly. It's Christmas day. We go visit with her and brought some food, she barely was eating anything. When leaving, I said good bye and told mom that I love her and she told me she loves me. On the drive home , I couldn't help but cry. Got home and my husband asked what was wrong cause I'm just crying my eyes out, I told him mom's dying. The next morning, 7am the rehab place called and said she passed at about 6:45am. All tho I knew that her time was coming, just thought that she would still be around for longer time. It felt like I had an intuition (6th sense) that I didn't seem to realize at the time was telling me that the time has come for her to go. I really miss her! Now, I'm just sad and filled with numbness right now. She was cremated, as her wishes. I get a little bit of comfort having her ashes here with me, but, I really would rather have her back. Just had to talk, thank you for listening.
Sorry about your mom. You are at the right place to talk about it. I think just about everyone that frequents this thread has lost their mom and understand that loss. Losing my mom was the second hardest loss I experienced in my life, losing a child being the first. I have a home within walking distance of my mom’s grave and I keep it up and visit it almost every week. (She died in 1986) Our bonds with moms are just special.
I wish you peace and healing as you go through this season in your life.
Weenie, what a beautiful post. You and your mother loved each other and you both had the opportunity to express that love at the end of her life. I'm thinking she must have had a great deal of comfort from that.
You will grieve in your own way and gradually you will feel stronger and better. Gradually you may also recognize that she is no longer suffering and you may take comfort in that, even though you still miss her.
So sorry for your loss. This board is a great place to stop by when you feel the weight of grief bear down on you.
I lost my mom to cancer six months ago. I, too, thought I'd get more time with her.
I knew death was keeping company with us, and I knew of the emptiness that would usher in once she passed, it was still life-altering when it happened.
I still can't believe that she has left me. It's like I know she won't be able to call me anymore but at the same time, it's like I am waiting for her call.
I'm sorry for your loss, but on the positive side, your mother was coherent towards the end and you had a chance to say goodbye and tell her you loved her.
My dad passed on Jan. 3. At the end, his dementia was so bad, we couldn't communicate with him any longer. I had thoughts of a final tearful goodbye on New Years weekend, but by that point, it was too late.
I would encourage everyone to tell your loved ones how you feel about them before it's too late.
Yes, I had impending doom, like the OP. I was never told my mother was dying until a few hours before she died. But the last half year or so of her life, I really had this impending doom (particularly the last 2 months or so, when nothing was really happening) I didn't know how things were going to end with (with an autoimmune blood disease + stroke). I knew she wasn't going to live to be 80 or more.
So, yes, I know this impending doom. I had it even before my mother had her stroke 2 years ago. I just know she was doomed to die. I cannot explain it. My sister had the same feeling. She was never meant to get better in any way.
Please take good care, Weenie66. We all understand what you are going through. Peace, love and healing to you.
i think this can help more than most people realize. (and it helps both the messenger and receiver)
i attended a weekend retreat several years ago for men in crisis. we talked about giving love and receiving love. to me, it was one of the most rewarding counseling sessions i ever attended. giving love and receiving love would go a long ways to solving a lot of problems in our lives.
the last thing i do when i depart from anyone i love, is to tell them, l love you. it settles the dust if you had any confrontation and returns to the bottom line.
yeah, great post kathryn!
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