"Bullies" and "abusers".... (pain, effect, system)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
"Bullies" don't seem to think twice when it comes to "heaping shame" on other people. Or making fun of other people etc...But yet they don't seem to have any shame themselves when it comes to their own words and behavior...They lack sensitivity when it comes to considering the impact that their words (or actions) might have on other people's feelings or self-esteem...I'd like to start a discussion about "bullies" and "abusers" and what makes them "tick!" Thanks!
Well, this is a very interesting topic and one deserving of great thought. I am a little too tired to do it justice right now, but I'll get some energy later and participate after I give it more thought.
Basically, I do think they are wimps on the inside.
Well, this is a very interesting topic and one deserving of great thought. I am a little too tired to do it justice right now, but I'll get some energy later and participate after I give it more thought.
Basically, I do think they are wimps on the inside.
Thanks for writing. Hope you can catch up on your rest!....There are so many "bullies" running around today compared to when I was younger. It's sad! And it's shocking too! What happened?...More soon too!
I personally think bullying stems from a lack of self esteem...if they can make someone else feel bad...perhaps in their own mixed up minds it dulls the hurt and anger that THEY are feeling inside.
I personally think bullying stems from a lack of self esteem...if they can make someone else feel bad...perhaps in their own mixed up minds it dulls the hurt and anger that THEY are feeling inside.
I agree with you...It reminds me of how babies act when they first start "cutting teeth." The babies are too young to understand the source of their pain...Babies are just mad and cranky in general because they don't feel good. They want the pain to stop! And they blame everyone around them for their pain with no awareness of "what's happening to them!"....This is how some "bullies" and "abusers" seem to me. They lack awareness about the source of their pain. They "act out" and heap pain and shame on others to get it out of their system...To try to find some relief. (As you mentioned.) But it becomes a "vicious cycle" because they never deal with the source of their own internal pain and anger.
High self-esteem should also be considered. The opposite side of the negative, belittling comments to a low-self esteem child is too much praise and adoration to a high self esteem child, so much so that they think they are better than anyone else and therefore act that way. Their attitude is that they can do no wrong, so they pick on those unlike themselves because they have such a high opinion of themselves and don't like those who are considered "normal" by society's standards.
I moderated on another forum simular to this one, where a fellow moderator kept insulting a member repeadedly. I spoke up and the end result was so unbelievably stupid, childish, and dishonorable, and the guy was a marine to top it. I wound up leaving the forum and coming here!
I moderated on another forum simular to this one, where a fellow moderator kept insulting a member repeadedly. I spoke up and the end result was so unbelievably stupid, childish, and dishonorable, and the guy was a marine to top it. I wound up leaving the forum and coming here!
Sorry about your experiences on the other forum...Years ago I was a member of another forum and one of the moderators had a tendency to pick-on "newbies" at times. It really upset me but the staff was afraid to confront him about it...Finally I just decided to "take him on" myself when he gave "newbies" a bad time. I wasn't afraid of him. And I didn't resort to his silly "bully tactics" either...Eventually he "ran away" and later resigned...I don't like to see innocent people get "bullied" and "put down" in mean ways!
I'd love to know what makes them tick and also how to manage them. I suffer from an ability to be able to think quickly on my feet as to what to say at the right time.
I've just started a new post in this area and much of my grief this year has been down to workplace bullying!
I'd love to know what makes them tick and also how to manage them. I suffer from an ability to be able to think quickly on my feet as to what to say at the right time.
I've just started a new post in this area and much of my grief this year has been down to workplace bullying!
Someone mentioned that bullies are wimps. I totally agree. They are looking for people who are seem weak and meek.
One of the most effective ways I have seen is having a look that communicates clearly "DO NOT MESS WITH ME". You don't have to walk around with this look all the time. Just pull it up literally for a second or two when you lock eyes with them. It is an unspoken message that lets them know you are not a target and they should move on.
Also, you should not let their behavior define you and make you feel bad about yourself. These are emotionally damaged people who think the solution to their problems lies with mistreating others. You said you'd love to know what makes them tick. So, when they are carrying on, just watch them clinical fascination, like you're an anthropologist or something.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
