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Late bedwetting either wasn't an issue when my child was growing up, or else it was a deeply held secret because it was unheard of.
I suspect it has a lot to do with the sort of diaper changing that modern parents do. When my kid was little all of us parents constantly checked diapers and changed them immediately as soon as needed. A discussion about diapers held here on C-D fairly recently revealed that modern parents only change a diaper a couple of times a day because modern disposable diapers can hold a lot of moisture before they start to leak.
All I can see that does (besides cutting the cost of diapering) is that the child thinks it is normal to walk around with wet pants.
That's disgusting and neglectful to only change a diaper a couple times a day.
Did you take him to just one doctor? Was it a specialist? There are many conditions which cause continued bedwetting at this age. The fact that he is a "deep sleeper" rings alarm bells. It could be neurological in which your child’s bladder is still developing the ability to send a message to their brain that it is time to wake up when they need to go to the bathroom.
Some suggestions:
- Stop letting him watch TV in the morning. If it means you and the husband have to get up BEFORE him, so be it. It's called parenting.
- Leave a garbage bin right next to his bed in which he can throw the wet pullup when he gets up. This is the ONLY place in which he will be allowed to dispose of the pullup, and he is not permitted to leave his room until the pullup is off and in the bin. Let him be responsible for emptying the bin, putting a new liner in it, etc.
- If he wants to read in bed before going to sleep, he is NOT to wear a pullup. The pullup is only for sleeping. You will have to monitor this and insist on it.
Just curious if he has a regular bedtime routine, and at what time he is going to bed.
I’m not sure if you have any suggestions or not but if anything I need to vent. My 8 year old wets his bed. He is a super deep sleeper, has been seen by doctor, every thing is normal he just can’t wake up to go. Ok no problem. Lots of kids his age still wet the bed. He wears pull-ups, Goodnites, to bed and they usually work ok. The problem i have are....
He leaves his dirty pull-ups laying on the floor where ever he takes them off in the morning. Sometimes that’s in his room, the bathroom, or living room. I have reminded him time and again to PUT THEM IN THE TRASH. But he never does. I never punish for the bedwetting but I do punish for leaving his dirty diaper laying on the floor but it does no good.
The other issue is he will wet his pull-up when awake. Just before he gets in bed he pees in the toilet then puts on his pull-up and gets in bed. He is allowed to read for a few minutes before lights out and there have been times he will go in his pull-up before lights out. When I ask him why he says he doesn’t know. He will also go in it in the morning after waking up. I know this because his bed will be dry but then I will find a wet spot on the floor or his blanket will be wet where he was wrapped up watching tv in the morning. He is supposed to take off his pull-up as soon as he gets up and go pee in the toilet but instead he will continue wearing it and go watch tv in the living room and he goes in his already soaked diaper. This is on the weekend when he gets up early and my husband and I sleep in a little.
He is 8 year old for crying out loud. I would think he would want out of his wet pull-up ASAP. And being 8 I would think he would not want to be seen in it. But he doesn’t care about others seeing him. His older and younger brother don’t wear pull-ups anymore but he just parades around in his droopy soaked sagging pull-up like it’s no big deal.
I don’t know if I should be glad he’s not embarrassed or upset he doesn’t care at all. Reading thru old posts I know many other people on here have kids who wet the bed and wear pull-ups. Do any of your kids do any of these things. It’s driving be batty.
Looks to me like there's no consequences for what he's doing. No reading time, just go to bed. Lights out, immediately.
If he's not following the rules, why is he getting TV privilege? Nope. No TV until you clean up after yourself - with the pull ups, with the food, clothes, whatever.
I haven't seen any mentioned consequences. So, he's learning that there are none, and continues to do what he wants.
It is not uncommon for kids his age not have bladder control. Bed-wetting may be a sign of an underlying condition that needs medical or psychological attention.
I hope you're not letting this child know how unhappy you are about this. That can be harmful psychologically. Seriously. Eight is not too old to have not outgrown some bed wetting issues.
That said, bed wetting can be caused by an intolerance to dairy. Does this child drink milk or eat ice cream? If so, taking a bed wetter off of dairy for say a week can confirm the intolerance if he 'dries up'. You might give it a try.
Hey Jessica,
My partner and I are dealing with the EXACT SAME problem!!!
8 year old boy. Pees almost every night. Either won’t take the pull-ups off in the AM or will drop them on the floor super-saturated. 75% of the time his sheets are soaked too. We use pee pads and liners, etc. but the bed still needs to be stripped. If I don’t ask him or check myself, he won’t tell us that the bed is soaked.
I am not the child’s biological father and have only been on the scene for 2 years, so I have to be very careful with what I say. Lately, I am finding it more and more difficult to bite my tongue on this issue.
The child is smart. He knows better. He just doesn’t care. He also struggles wiping his butt and will happily go about his day smelling like crap.
His mom doesn’t want to hurt his feelings about this, but 8 years old is TOO old to not start taking care of one’s personal hygiene.
We were recently on a month long trip out of province and we had to borrow a washing machine from the owners of the cabin we were staying at. Almost every single day I had to ask to use the machine. I would find the child sitting in front of the TV/Laptop/switch device still wearing his soaked pull-up. I’d kindly ask him to put it in the trash. Then ask if his sheets were wet. “Yeah… they are wet…” .
Over and over, I’d say “listen buddy, I know you can’t help peeing, but you’re 8 years old and you have to start taking some responsibility for yourself. You know that pull-ups are ONLY for sleeping in case you pee, so as SOON as you wake up, they need to be put in the garbage. They damage the floor, mattress, or cushions when the pee leaks out. Also, I don’t know if your bed is wet if you don’t tell me. I want to help you, but you have to meet me half way…”
Next morning same deal.
Cabin owner told my son “if you don’t wet the bed, your dad owes you $0.25”
That worked for two nights. But then he continued with his nightly bed wetting.
Like Jessica stated, I believe that he sometimes will pee in the pull-up because he knows it is “allowed”. After all, that is what the pull-up is designed for. We know it still is an unconscious occurrence too because he’ll pee if he falls asleep in the car on a drive, or on a friends couch after a day of playing.
I must admit, one of the last days of the month-long trip I sharply said, “this is becoming a serious concern. I know you can’t help the bed wetting, but you have absolute 100% control what you do once you are awake. You continue to drop your pee soaked pull-up on the floor and leave a soaked bed for me to find when I’m tucking you in at night. I know you know better and I should NOT have to tell you this Every. Single. Day. I am so tired of this. I don’t know what else I can possibly say to you to get you to comply with this extremely simple request. It is unhygienic, it is damaging to not only our belongings, but the property of the man who owns this cabin, it is exhausting to have to remind you (sometimes multiple times in the same day because you simply do not care), and I know you are capable of doing things that are significantly more complicated.
Do you understand? “Yes”
So why are you not doing it? “I will”
“Here’s the thing, -Childs name-
I have asked you almost every morning for nearly two years now that as soon as you wake up, you put your wet pull up in the garbage and let me know if your sheets are wet, and you still aren’t doing it which is extremely concerning to me. Do you understand that?
“Yes”
So, I think that if this pattern of you lounging around in a soaked pull-up, or leaving it soiled on the floor for someone to find, or not notifying me that your sheets are wet and need to be washed continues, we will have no choice but to take you to a doctor to be evaluated. Again, not because you pee at night, that isn’t the problem. The problem is what occurs after you wake up. It is NOT OK and it needs to stop. Do you understand?
“Yes”
And here we are still making empty threats and fighting amongst ourselves because I want to see some change and my partner thinks we should just be supportive and one day he’ll grow out of it. Maybe if she had to clean up after him every morning she would be as annoyed as I am. Lol.
This morning I suggested that we take away the things he likes to do first thing in the morning and he doesn’t get them back until he has shown us that his pull-up is in the garbage and his wet sheets are down in the laundry room. I think it is fair. But then again, he isn’t my biological child and I don’t get to make the rules.
Being their primary care taker while my partner is away for work, I’m tired of putting my foot down just to have it pried back up and being scolded for being so strict.
I personally believe that coddling a misbehaving child doesn’t yield results, it enables the child to do it again because there’s no real reason for them to stop. There are no consequences for their actions- only a pair of open, welcoming arms and a soft voice saying “it’s OK baby, don’t worry, try to remember tomorrow”.
I’m tired of cleaning up after them. I fear it is causing some serious friction in our relationship. I think we should seek councillors if we don’t see some positive changes soon.
Best of luck everyone.
Jessica- do you have an update?
Last edited by Exhausted_stepdad; 08-02-2023 at 09:46 AM..
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