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I think it really depends on the teenager. Does your granddaughter do any volunteer work now? If you aren't sure, you should ask. I can tell you that my own kids participated in canned food drives, clothing donations, Angel Trees, animal rescue, river/stream cleanups, community cleanups, Habitat for Humanity work Toys for Tots...and lots more through the various activities that they were involved in throughout their childhood. They had busy schedules filled with school, part time jobs, extracurricular activities and volunteer work.
That doesn't mean that you shouldn't ask your granddaughter if she would like to help you select and donate a warm jacket to a teen in need. But do ask her if she does any volunteering. You might be surprised by what your granddaughter is already doing.
Coincidentally there was a question somewhat along these lines in yesterday's "Miss Manners" column. The writer asked if, rather than sending a wedding gift to a couple they weren't close to, it would be all right to send a charitable donation in their name.
Miss Manners replied: "Everyone except Miss Manners seems to think that giving to charity is so noble that it should substitute for giving presents, and also that it can be mandated by people who expect presents." (https://enewspaper.ocregister.com/).
I agree. Giving to charity doesn't substitute for giving a personal gift. OP, you said you were also going to pay for your granddaughter's senior ring. That sounds like it's a year and a half away, since she apparently won't even be a senior until next fall, and you don't get a senior ring until near the end of your senior year. Won't that actually be a graduation present? Offering to buy the ring is generous of you, but if I were her, I wouldn't really be thrilled that my grandmother isn't giving me anything for my birthday THIS year except an opportunity to donate a gift to someone else. And it's honestly not for you to decide that she already has enough "material abundance" and shouldn't get any more.
If you want to involve your granddaughter in your charitable donation, I suggest you leave her birthday out of it entirely and simply request her help: "Ashlee, I'm thinking about giving a coat to a girl about your age who needs one, but I don't know what you young people are wearing these days. Would you be willing to help me out by shopping for me?" And for heaven's sake, give her a birthday present.
Her senior ring arrives next week. Her private school allows the students to wear them 2nd semester in their junior year all the way through the rest of the time they are students at that school. So of course she’s getting a birthday present (cost $600) from me!
I think it really depends on the teenager. Does your granddaughter do any volunteer work now? If you aren't sure, you should ask. I can tell you that my own kids participated in canned food drives, clothing donations, Angel Trees, animal rescue, river/stream cleanups, community cleanups, Habitat for Humanity work Toys for Tots...and lots more through the various activities that they were involved in throughout their childhood. They had busy schedules filled with school, part time jobs, extracurricular activities and volunteer work.
That doesn't mean that you shouldn't ask your granddaughter if she would like to help you select and donate a warm jacket to a teen in need. But do ask her if she does any volunteering. You might be surprised by what your granddaughter is already doing.
She is not doing any volunteer work. She is in sports and school. I live in another State and am not local to her.
Choose a dollar amount and have her pick the charity. That lets her express a cause important to her.
FWIW... The homeless would be more efficiently served in clothing from thrift stores where the same money for a new coat, would probably buy a whole wardrobe, coat, hat, shoes, socks, pants and a warm sweater. Clothing is not valued highly by the homeless, can be gotten free or cheaply sat thrift stores and is more often thrown out when dirty, than actually laundered. Don't waste money on anything expensive.
Her senior ring arrives next week. Her private school allows the students to wear them 2nd semester in their junior year all the way through the rest of the time they are students at that school. So of course she’s getting a birthday present (cost $600) from me!
OK, then that's fine. As I said, you were very generous. So ask if she will do you a favor by helping buy a charitable donation YOU want to make, and do not say that you are "giving her the honor of buying something for someone else." I know you mean well, but that is obnoxious. Your donation has nothing to do with her birthday.
I love this!!! So many kids today can be blind to the needs of others. This will at least make her realize there are less fortunate kids in the world that are not as blessed as she is.
A teenager in need would really appreciate a brand new coat. It feels really good to help others! Maybe this will make an impression on her and in the future she will give back to others on her own.
So many parents today forget to teach their children how to give back to others.
She is not doing any volunteer work. She is in sports and school. I live in another State and am not local to her.
My own kids attended public school but they did do some of their service work through the activities that they were involved in. So it is possible for a kid to be involved in a sport at school and also participate in canned food drives and other volunteer work as a member of the team.
Maybe that's not something that your granddaughter's private school does but my kids really racked up the service hours participating in their various team's service work. It's also not something that kids necessarily bring up unless you specifically ask them about it.
Choose a dollar amount and have her pick the charity. That lets her express a cause important to her.
FWIW... The homeless would be more efficiently served in clothing from thrift stores where the same money for a new coat, would probably buy a whole wardrobe, coat, hat, shoes, socks, pants and a warm sweater. Clothing is not valued highly by the homeless, can be gotten free or cheaply sat thrift stores and is more often thrown out when dirty, than actually laundered. Don't waste money on anything expensive.
This attitude about the homeless being less deserving of nice clothing really irks me. Homeless shelters that house women and children usually have laundry facilities available. I work for a charity. Our clients are given monthly vouchers for clothing, and can select what they need from the same racks as shoppers. Clothing is sorted to weed out anything dirty, damaged or outdated. We hold a coat drive every year to provide clients with NEW winter coats, and they are especially grateful that their children are given something that lets them blend in with their peers.
OP, I live in a wealthy town. Even so, there are students in need here. It may be less obvious in a private school setting, but the public school may have a lead on a teen who would be thrilled to get a new coat. Your granddaughter could even select something online and have it mailed to the school directly.
This attitude about the homeless being less deserving of nice clothing really irks me. Homeless shelters that house women and children usually have laundry facilities available. I work for a charity. Our clients are given monthly vouchers for clothing, and can select what they need from the same racks as shoppers. Clothing is sorted to weed out anything dirty, damaged or outdated. We hold a coat drive every year to provide clients with NEW winter coats, and they are especially grateful that their children are given something that lets them blend in with their peers.
OP, I live in a wealthy town. Even so, there are students in need here. It may be less obvious in a private school setting, but the public school may have a lead on a teen who would be thrilled to get a new coat. Your granddaughter could even select something online and have it mailed to the school directly.
That was going to be my suggestion, a local to her public high school to find a student to give to.
I donate my grandson's winter coat from the year before to someone in his school. I reach out to the nurse which is easy these days with calling the main number, you press whatever to go directly to her office.
My grandson barely even uses a winter coat. They've always looked brand new. This year we passed it to one of my daughters friends oldest kid who is older then my grandson. My grandson is very tall, so we have 3 boys I pass his clothes to if I didn't already give them to the nurse to pass out to the kids in need there. I tried donating new clothes from my granddaughter who's also tall. The nurse said the PTA hooked her up this year.
This attitude about the homeless being less deserving of nice clothing really irks me. Homeless shelters that house women and children usually have laundry facilities available. I work for a charity. Our clients are given monthly vouchers for clothing, and can select what they need from the same racks as shoppers. Clothing is sorted to weed out anything dirty, damaged or outdated. We hold a coat drive every year to provide clients with NEW winter coats, and they are especially grateful that their children are given something that lets them blend in with their peers.
OP, I live in a wealthy town. Even so, there are students in need here. It may be less obvious in a private school setting, but the public school may have a lead on a teen who would be thrilled to get a new coat. Your granddaughter could even select something online and have it mailed to the school directly.
I don’t disagree, but I also agree with that other poster that it might be more meaningful to the granddaughter to research and pick out a charity of particular interest to her.
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