Can children be happy with very few things? (parent, clothes, son)
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You'll do fine. I think a child's happiness is the result of loving parents, a safe home, and imagination. At his age toys help with dexterity and other areas of development, but when he's older I hope you'll steer him to books and to the outdoors. The most fun I had was outdoors, no toys, and no video games. (And my favorite clothes were the hand-me-downs I had coveted from my sisters.) I looked forward to picking out my next book at the library.
Oh, and my best friend lived in a second floor apartment with her mother, who was on welfare. But she was a wonderful mother, and her kids all turned out great.
Last edited by Ann Alison; 08-30-2022 at 03:24 PM..
The most important thing you can do for your children is talk to them and listen to them.
One of the worst things is to buy them lots of expensive stuff and ignore them.
Children are like cats: buy them the world and they'll lay on the floor and play with a stray crumpled receipt.
I was the first child in my generation and had a large extended family (then) and every toy in the universe. My best memories of playing with my sister were games like "hand people," wherein, you guessed it, our hands were people and they would have adventures and big conversations.
We played "ice," with - guess! - ice in a plastic bag. It was a cross between handball and catch with a bag of melting ice until it split and someone (the LOSER) got wet.
We played "at the table," where we imitated our parents mercilessly and we found it hysterical.
But here's my favorite story: we were playing catch with the dog's toy. I have no idea why, but we were in the backyard playing catch with a Pokey (Gumby's horse) that the dog had gotten hold of and chewed into an unrecognizable mess. At some point, Pokey went over the fence where the neighbors had guests - in dresses, drinking cocktails - and we asked politely if they would toss our toy back over. I'll never forget the woman's face, cocktail in one hand and what was left of Pokey in the other, asking, in a pained tone, "This?"
You make your own fun. And your own life. With or without things.
Anybody can be happy with fewer things, but everybody compares themselves to others.
My family was not poor when I was a kid, but defitely lower middle class. We owned only Ramblers, which were the cheapest cars in the USA.
Every kid on the block owned a bike except me. When I was 10, my Dad bought me the cheapest, crappiest 1-speed No Name stingray bike in the neighborhood but it was brand new. I loved it dearly and rode the wheels off it, but don't think for one minute I wasn't painfully aware that every other boy in the neighborhood had a genuine Schwinn Orange Crate type 5-speed sting ray.
I had fewer and crappier toys than any of the other kids on the block, but I still loved them and played with them often.
I had the cheapest, crappiest clothes all throughout high school. In a high school of 2,000 students, only me and one other guy wore big honking plastic frame glasses. Back then aviators were the glasses to wear, and that is what everybody wore who didn't wear contacts, except me and the other guy.
I thought my Dad was cheap. I didn't know we were just living hand to mouth.
That said, we lived in a great neighborhood. In a small shack, but still safe and a beautiful neighborhood. Dad sent me to private school where I got an invaluable education that I am sure was worth millions more than all the toys and bikes in childhood-dom.
I never understood why we had less and worse than everybody else right down to black and white TV for many years after everyone else on the block had a color TV set, but I didn't question it.
It wasn't a "hardship". I didn't dwell on it. It just was and I just accepted it and that was that. It wasn't until decades I was well into college that I realized the money just wasn't there, and that everything made sense.
As a parent, it can't be fun. As a child, you can't understand it. You get through it and then it is fine. The amount you love and support and encourage your children is way, way more important at the end of the day. Way more important.
I will just close with this.
Who do you think developed a much better imagination, the kid on the block with everything, or me when I had to use my lego set to build everything that he got as a toy from race cars to army tanks to laser guns? I learned to use a stick or a cardboard cutout for just about anything I wanted it to be.
A 2 year old doesn't need much stuff. Crayons and paper are cheap, so is a jar of bubbles. Cardboard boxes are free. Most libraries have children's story hour and you can take out books to read to your child at bedtime. Going to the local playground is a lot of fun and will give your child a chance to play with other children and you can meet other parents. You can put on music and sing, dance and clap to the music. So many fun things to do with a 2 year old that don't cost much and help your child learn and grow.
I think that the playful, loving interaction a child experiences is most beneficial, playing made-up games together, and having simple toys. It's the fun a parent will instill in them that will matter most, not that children won't end up playing by themselves at times. (I enjoyed being in my room just making stuff up, being creative). As said, reading to them and enjoying the outdoors is valuable. My Dad would take us on drives in the car and the family would sing together in harmony.
What many have stated is the case..but I think too, part of the OP's concern may be that, as a child begins being around other kids, there can be "comparisons" made, status issues developing from some peers, something one would have no knowledge of before occurring, which could affect one.
It sounds like this child is off to a good start, with parents who care so much, which is what matters.
Growing up poor was good for me and my brother. And I never really knew we were poor until I got older.
I am much better off than my parents were and now have my own family. Here's the story - almost every kid will want more than they have and make their parents feel bad about that (simply because it is fun for them to make their paretents fel bad about things). Kid's who are well off and get a new BMW M series for their 16yr birthday will be upset that they didn't get a Ferrari because Timmy has a Ferrari and they will look stupid in their BMW.
I know it's somewhat of a cliche but having less really does build character. It did for me and for my brother. Your job is to support your kid, encourage him/her, make sure they feel your love, encourage trust, raise him/her to be respectful, etc. It's not about things. That is a very wrong and dangerous way to think. In general, people with less money are better in many ways than people with more money.
When my kids were two and had lots of toys - their favorites were my pot and pans and lots of dried pasta for pretend cooking. Play dough was an another favorite & it can be made at home.
We had a goal of reading 100 books every summer - meaning I read 100 books and kept track of them. We had indoor picnic on the living room floor on rainy days. Lots of tents with blankets over chairs/tables.
Paper, scissors, glue, pieces of fabric, buttons, pompoms, pipe cleaners and yarn. My kids didn't have TV until second grade, but they had an arts and crafts box of supplies. They made a ton of puppets and put on puppet shows.
I have a baby, less than 2 years old and while we try to do our best for our baby, we live in low income and don´t have much money at the moment. We buy all the necessary clothing, nappies, wipes, food but we can only buy few toys. Despite working hours we spend the rest of the day with him and we love him much than he will know. But I am afraid, he realizes that he has no the same opportunities and goods like other kids.
Babies do not need a lot of toys. You might need to have an attitude adjustment. Many parents who can afford lots of toys chose not to buy them.
Babies are amused by very simple things, like pots and pans and a spoon or other things around your home. Talk to your baby a lot...constantly. Read him free library books. Take him to parks and playgrounds and expose him to many things in nature...birds and bugs and plants. Teach him colors. Take him to the grocery store and name fruits and vegetables. Most libraries have free story hours for toddlers.
If your baby had a lot of toys, you would know that they lose interest in most of them very quickly, so that money was wasted.
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