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Generational dysfunction. Inability to form healthy relationships. It's all there in black and white.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused2022
I've been to a number of high school graduations in the past ew years where you see girl after girl walking the stage with a full belly under their gown. Again, who still cares about that now?
I am not surprised that you find fatherless children and broken families to be so normal and healthy. After all, you don't see anything wrong with hitting an 18 month old baby.
Let me clear this up. A pop on the hand or the behind is not abuse. It's just a way to correct an action. No, not everyone may agree with it but it is not abuse. And mom hasn't actually popped the baby she just stresses that we need to and I don't agree with popping her for everything. No bruises are being left. No skin is being broken. No cuts, etc. Just as good as you can list those professionals who are required to report such abuse there are just as many professionals who also think and a pop or spanking is justified in certain situations. A spanking or a pop on the rear may not always rise to the level of abuse in many professionals views.
I have no problem with spanking a child when it was warranted but I do not think you should pop them for everything.
Again...
Imagine YOU'RE the professional, and someone makes an actual appointment to talk about the baby getting spanked and 'popped'. Your words. IF you thought it was important enough to talk to a professional about, than it's likely that professional is going to report it.
The very fact that someone felt the need to talk to the professional about the issue is going to raise concern with the professional. If I'M that professional, I would report it, if someone brought it to my attention.
True, but a lot of people report things out of spite. I've heard mother in laws or mothers and annoyed angry spouses reporting things about a parent they have a personal beef with. not so much that kids were in any danger.
I have a neighbor whose husband called the pediatrician because she was drunk on a few occasions and he was tired of her drinking. Dr had to report it to CPS. Kids had no idea what was happening.
Case in point for me goes along those lines of people reporting things out of spite. As I mentioned in an earlier reply I got full custody of my daughter when she was about two based on some trumped up charges from her paternal grandparents. After my daughter's mom and I broke up she decided to take our child from NC and dropped her off with her parents in MD. Given that she was born in NC this state had jurisdiction over her so that when CPS told my daughter's mom that she had so many days to bring the baby back to our state my her parents reported to the CPS in MD that she found blood in our daughter's stool alluding to that I was sexually abusing my daughter. They were willing to lie to keep the baby with them. That not only opened a case in MD but now NC had to also open a case. After an investigation from both states it was deemed that the charges were false and the baby was ordered back to our state. Again, after a court custody case the judge gave me full custody of my/our daughter based on the reports from NC and MD CPS and after doing psychological and mental evaluations and visiting my apartment which showed I have adequate arrangements for the baby and a support system for her whereas my daughter's mom was always moving from place to place staying anywhere she could.
I say that to mean not every charge of abuse is a valid one. Yes, people do things out of spite. So you can't always believe what someone else says.
Sounds like she's got the chops of any of us old battlewagons. I'm glad you respect her but also keep perspective and have the feeling you should push back on some things. So go ahead and push.
I hope, when I'm an even older fogey, I can keep perspective, that what I think is best is maybe not actually better than how my durn fool kids are raising my grandchildren.
I guess I see it this way. How things were 20, 30, or 40 years ago may not be how they are now. Things we were taught in school are no longer required. Ask any kid to sign their name and chances are they are just going to print it. Cursive writing is no longer taught as far as I know. I just think mom is stuck in her head of how they were back then and that still should be the way it needs to be now. No, not the case. It's just hard to get someone of a certain age or mindset to change and do things differently.
Generational dysfunction. Inability to form healthy relationships. It's all there in black and white.
I am not surprised that you find fatherless children and broken families to be so normal and healthy. After all, you don't see anything wrong with hitting an 18 month old baby.
I think you need to realize that not everyone lives life the same way you do or has the same background that you do. You should really get off your high horse. Be happy you don't come from a dysfunctional family. It's fine to say hitting a baby is wrong but why you are being so nasty is questionable.
Case in point for me goes along those lines of people reporting things out of spite. As I mentioned in an earlier reply I got full custody of my daughter when she was about two based on some trumped up charges from her paternal grandparents. After my daughter's mom and I broke up she decided to take our child from NC and dropped her off with her parents in MD. Given that she was born in NC this state had jurisdiction over her so that when CPS told my daughter's mom that she had so many days to bring the baby back to our state my her parents reported to the CPS in MD that she found blood in our daughter's stool alluding to that I was sexually abusing my daughter. They were willing to lie to keep the baby with them. That not only opened a case in MD but now NC had to also open a case. After an investigation from both states it was deemed that the charges were false and the baby was ordered back to our state. Again, after a court custody case the judge gave me full custody of my/our daughter based on the reports from NC and MD CPS and after doing psychological and mental evaluations and visiting my apartment which showed I have adequate arrangements for the baby and a support system for her whereas my daughter's mom was always moving from place to place staying anywhere she could.
I say that to mean not every charge of abuse is a valid one. Yes, people do things out of spite. So you can't always believe what someone else says.
You all seem to be missing my point.
IF someone goes to a professional (as was suggested) to ask for advice on the situation, that professional is a mandatory reporter, and MAY feel compelled to report. Never mind somebody doing it out of spite. Those cards aren't even on the table.
Someone suggested you talk to a professional. I'M just saying what might happen, if you do.
Generational dysfunction. Inability to form healthy relationships. It's all there in black and white.
I am not surprised that you find fatherless children and broken families to be so normal and healthy. After all, you don't see anything wrong with hitting an 18 month old baby.
I didn't say it was healthy, I just said that you used the term "out of wedlock" and I am just surprised that people still think that needs to be stressed or even that's a negative thing these days. MTV glorifies teen mothers, whereas my daughter was never a teen mother, it just makes no sense to me to focus on that. Many women these days chose to have kids outside of having a husband. The stigma is no longer there these days to be labeled "out of wedlock". Yeah, had this been some girl in her teens still in high school you might have a point. But my daughter is a college graduate with her own place, car, job, etc. I do not think anyone is looked at her and saying "the shame of her."
Imagine YOU'RE the professional, and someone makes an actual appointment to talk about the baby getting spanked and 'popped'. Your words. IF you thought it was important enough to talk to a professional about, than it's likely that professional is going to report it.
The very fact that someone felt the need to talk to the professional about the issue is going to raise concern with the professional. If I'M that professional, I would report it, if someone brought it to my attention.
I would look at it this way. If someone other than the parent spanked my child I probably wouldn't leave my child in their care again if I was against spanking. And I definitely wouldn't make an appointment with a professional just to tell them someone else spanked my child. It may be morally wrong but it's not criminal. And if there were no bruises or marks chances are the professional is under no obligation to report it any further. At that point it's one person's word against another person.
I think you need to realize that not everyone lives life the same way you do or has the same background that you do. You should really get off your high horse. Be happy you don't come from a dysfunctional family. It's fine to say hitting a baby is wrong but why you are being so nasty is questionable.
Thank you!
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I'm glad you respect her but also keep perspective and have the feeling you should push back on some things. So go ahead and push.
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