How do you avoid missing too much work when kids are sick? (single mom, parents)

[flyonpa]

I work in IT, So 99.9% of my job can be done remote. When my son was sick, or day off from school etc. I would work from home. My Boss was ok with it, (He was 500 miles away anyway).

In fact I could work from home and no one would know I was working from home, Unless they went to my cubical to find me. My Office phone rang on my Laptop, my Laptop would VPN into the office network,

For all practical purposes I was able to work from home just like if I was sitting in the office.

[WoodburyWoody]

Originally Posted by ncole1

I don't have kids, but I am considering that I may still want to at some point. Do most daycares and schools send kids home for common colds, and if so, how do you avoid burning through all your PTO/leave at work to take care of the kids?

Is there a reliably workable solution to this (other than having one parent forgo full-time employment), or do you just "figure it out as you go along" ?

That you are asking the question is great.

When ours was in day care and then school, yes it would happen that one of us would get a call because of illness and someone needed to leave work early. And then stay home with a sick child.

We were very lucky. Though we had no family in the area, we both had jobs with sick time that could be used for ill children and bosses who did let us do so (just because you have earned sick leave it does not mean the boss will let you take it).

And we had to make choices along the way. I accepted lower pay and more limited career advancement for a job with more flexibility to deal with this. When there was illness, snow days, doctors' visits, I mostly handled them because I was in a better position to do so. Again, we were lucky - lots of people do not have that option. And, there were two of us throughout this whole process, which made it much easier than I can possibly imagine for the single parents I know (I know some fantastic people who are doing great jobs as single parents, but it is so much more on their shoulders to get it done - I simply do not know how they do it).

It really is not easy. American society simply is not family-friendly, and seemly less so now than it was 15 or 30 years ago.

[EveryLady]

I was a single mom. Fortunately my daughter was not sick that much - although she constantly transmitted colds etc. to me. That's another issue.

Often if she was sick I was also and we stayed home together. Other times I would hire a sitter from a service then take paid leave to also stay home AND work. I could also use my sick leave to cover her, although that sometimes meant I went to work when I shouldn't have. One time when we were both quite ill I hired a nurse for a couple of days. If I was really needed in the office for some reason and she had something minor it was acceptable for me to bring her to work with me. I had a private office. If I needed to, for example, be at a public hearing an assistant could be delegated to watch her.

All the half-days and school holidays were covered by her aftercare daycare or various camps. Snow days, however, were a bit of a problem. Also weekends when I needed to catch-up on work by going into the office. Friends (or the one relative I had in the area) would help out. Nights I would work after she went to bed. Basically it worked out. Sadly, though, she tended to be the last kid picked up at daycare which I always found sad. (Not the first there, though!)

The only time I panicked was when she got a really really really bad case of lice. No re-admittance either to school or to daycare until every nit was found, and there were hundreds. This could have lasted indefinitely! Fortunately the mom of the little girl who infected her arranged for their Guatemalan housekeeper and her daughter to spend literally 8 hours de-lousing her. Non-stop. It was amazing. No way did I have their skill.

That was the only real crisis.

[AnnieA]

I was the single parent of 3 kids in the 1970's. It was rough and they sometimes had to stay at home alone when sick because I had no one to help out. Two parents are always the best outcome for the child but it isn't always possible. Of course, not if one parent is abusive or neglectful. Good luck to you.

[StealthRabbit]

Fortunately one of us stayed home and the other worked night shift when kids were home / school age . next time... I would quit work and all stay home FT w/ kids while they are school age. (actually travel FT, which we often did internationally)

It's much easier and desirable to go back to work when the kids leave home.
We survived pretty cheap, and had family businesses and our state offers free college instead of High School, so that saved our kids a bundle, since they were on the hook 100% for all their expenses (including cars and college).

I had (3) sick days in 30+ yrs of employment, but I took a lot of 'flex-time' and sabbaticals. (without pay). I was caring for a disabled parent since the day I turned age 18, that was by far more demanding than kids. I told the kids I did not need difficult kids AND very difficult parents, so the kids behaved and stayed pretty safe, self sufficient, and well! (Broken bones excluded... arms, legs, wrists, ... lots of broken bones while living and working on a farm / ranch). Really dangerous lifestyle, but pretty healthy and active.

[YorktownGal]

Originally Posted by WoodburyWoody

It really is not easy. American society simply is not family-friendly, and seemly less so now than it was 15 or 30 years ago.

It was just about thirty years ago, when the internet began.

The 1990s will forever be remembered as the decade when the world came online. In the early years of the decade, the Internet was growing steadily, though few people had access to it. Still, people began to hear about the “Information Superhighway” that would change their lives.

https://www.nsf.gov/news/special_rep...xtonly/90s.jsp

Internet connection now vs. 1990-1995 is vastly different. This connection has given some people the opportunity to work from home. For those people, it made parenting easier.

[msRB311]

Originally Posted by ncole1

I don't have kids, but I am considering that I may still want to at some point. Do most daycares and schools send kids home for common colds, and if so, how do you avoid burning through all your PTO/leave at work to take care of the kids?

Is there a reliably workable solution to this (other than having one parent forgo full-time employment), or do you just "figure it out as you go along" ?

Do you have an option to work remote? That has done wonders.

But yes if kids are sick they can't go to daycare.

[2mares]

Originally Posted by YorktownGal

It was just about thirty years ago, when the internet began.

https://www.nsf.gov/news/special_rep...xtonly/90s.jsp

Internet connection now vs. 1990-1995 is vastly different. This connection has given some people the opportunity to work from home. For those people, it made parenting easier.

I say a statistic ~17% of the workforce work from home. I wonder how many are working mothers.
So yes for those few parenting is easier, not so for the other 83%.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by 2mares

I say a statistic ~17% of the workforce work from home. I wonder how many are working mothers.
So yes for those few parenting is easier, not so for the other 83%.

Yeah, precious few people that weren't working from home full time pre covid are doing so now. Sounds simple and easy, it isn't. It's rather uncommon.

[2mares]

Originally Posted by timberline742

Yeah, precious few people that weren't working from home full time pre covid are doing so now. Sounds simple and easy, it isn't. It's rather uncommon.

In theory it sounds simple and easy. It dosen't sound like working to me. I've yet to see how you can be a SAHP and work a full time job. Being a SAHP is a full time job.