7-year old son not interested in learning anything from me (parents, appropriate)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Why do you feel you need to be his teacher for everything?
I applaud this man for being an involved parent. We could use a LOT more of his kind in society.
Sir, limit your son's screen time. That will take care of the issue.
Involve him in one of your leisure hobbies - bowling, golf, softball, fishing, etc.
I'll bet if he were given the choice to hit the links or mow the lawn, you'd be buying him a set of clubs.
Keep at it. Kids learn by example. Stay involved with him and continue to be the parent and set limits.
While most kids will prefer internet stuff over other activities, it's the parents job to limit screen time.
This is a 7 year old, not a teen.
Also, it is the parents job to learn how to engage their child in activities. If your son doesn't want to do things with you, that's on you.With certain exceptions like trying to convince a sensitive child to play full contact football, and similar circumstances.
You don't want to force them into things against their nature, but you want to expose them to a lot of things in a fun way. You don't want to teach a 7 year old the preferred opening moves in order to win at chess, you want to teach him a fun game that he may enjoy. Though honestly, I think Chutes and Ladders may be more enjoyable to him or something that is more main-stream enjoyable to his age range.
I think a parent should be engaging their child to help them find their passions, and for the sheer enjoyment of spending time with their child and learning who they are. Not wanting the child to fulfill their desires to be an instructor.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Maybe your teaching style just doesn't work for him? Has your wife tried to teach him anything and if so how has that gone? Like maybe baking cookies together to learn about measuring things or maybe she can try to teach him chess or checkers or a card game like Fish just to see how he responds to her teaching style?
When I was younger I had a harder time learning things from my dad than my mom, because he was very much a cut and dried explanation of the rules kind of guy. My mom was much more hands on, a 'let me show you' or 'lets do it together' type. I was more afraid of not getting it 'right' in front of my dad than I was with my mom.
THIS. And I can understand this parents frustration, though I am not as intense, I often forget to "suggest" instead of issuing a command. Im working on it and I am 80 years old. It is hard to change yourself but I try because I love my grandchildren deeply and I know I am getting better results in not using a hammer. Try it.
I try my best but the challenge is how to fill the empty time. He struggles to entertain himself with his toys and refuses to do any learning ( school or skills ) from me.. So like caught between a rock and a hard place..
Sounds like your son has developed an “electronic”addiction. Yes, it is real in kids
You seem to be rightfully concerned about his time wasting and not learning anything new.
The best way to try is to take him off of his drug of choice - fluff videos and “into the wild”
Try to be imaginative - kid may like it. And it is kind of based on those stupid videos he might have watched.
Make up a story that you heard something is happening nearby. Aliens? Zombies? Or some old man buried some treasure or pirates?
Take him to search for “big foot”?
“The story“ would have to take you both camping?
Sometimes you could invent “hiking disasters “ pretend your supplies were eaten by bear, swept into the water, and how to find food or open a remaining can without can opener? Start a fire? Make shelter?
Try to catch fish for dinner?Looking for pretend treasures?
You pretty much have to become a “movie” director - write a scenario, and act it out. Try to involve your wife into brainstorming - she may relate to a kid better and know what may or may not work?
And having a co-conspirator could be helpful to get your son away from electronics?
You could even bury something to discover with the help of metal detector or some made up old map?
You could start small as a family picnic. But figure out “a hook” - find some money in a metal box “by chance”?
So there is a need to explore more - just the 2 of you next time - as you need a “look out” for a wild animal or a snake while you are digging or looking?
Give him some defensive tool - to “defend” you if he sees something?
Anyway - just think of something imaginable, imaginative, imaginary which you could act upon to take him away from the screen into a real life adventures?
The learning of skills often come from necessity - how to immobilize a strained ankle, or a need to build a shelter, a fire, cook something out of nothing, render basic medical help - to disinfect a wound, etc.
You may need to watch some of those videos yourself - to re-enact it IRL.
Safety is paramount of course. Devise the scenarios where everyone is safe and nobody is hurt.
Pretend ”risk” is the best..
Fantasy could still be your friend as he is still only 7? It may not work when he is 10?
Act fast
Last edited by L00k4ward; 06-26-2023 at 05:12 AM..
Seven year old grandson goes bike riding with his father. He can be hard to entertain but loves to play chess with his older brother. Screen time is a bit of battle but the parents have strict limits on it.
Positive parenting goes a long way. Praise the things he does well (but not the things he does not do well, which are best ignored at that age when they can be)
You could even bury something to discover with the help of metal detector or some made up old map?
You could start small as a family picnic. But figure out “a hook” - find some money in a metal box “by chance”?
I used to do this with younger neighbor friends: play "treasure hunt". At a toy store, I found a small metal treasure chest toy big enough to fill with coins, and I buried it in a far corner of the back yard. Then I made up an old map. It worked! They fell for the mystery of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43;
You don't want to force them into things against their nature, but you want to expose them to a lot of things in a fun way. You don't want to teach a 7 year old the preferred opening moves in order to win at chess, you want to teach him a fun game that he may enjoy. Though honestly, I think Chutes and Ladders may be more enjoyable to him or something that is more main-stream enjoyable to his age range.
This is what I think is missing in some of these scenarios; the concept of age-appropriate activities. A 7-year-old doesn't have the physical coordination to swing a golf club (do they even make clubs small enough?), nor the strength to lift a bowling ball and pitch it with enough force that it would reach the pins so far away, even a lightweight kiddie bowling ball. Similarly, mentally he's still a little too young to be able to learn the finer points of chess (though he could learn the rules for how the figures move, and play at a basic level).
What about simply reading to him? Maybe find some adventure stories geared for young kids, so he'll get caught up in the narrative. That could help turn him onto reading. If he likes the stories, he might start reading them on his own in a couple of years. A children's bookstore or the library could make suggestions as to age-appropriate books and topics.
How about building a fort for him in the back yard? Do kids still play with forts? Does he have friends in the neighborhood he could make up games with? Maybe his mom could sew him a brightly-colored flag for it.
Is there a science exploratorium anywhere within driving distance? You could see what kinds of things he takes an interest in, there. Is there an aquarium, if not in your city, somewhere close enough for an afternoon outing?
To some extent, the OP's query reminds me of comedian Chris Rock's jokes about his daughters when they were small. He said, when you only have girls, you spend a lot of time playing "tea party" (pitiful eye roll). This is not an entertaining activity for a grown man. But he ended up playing a lot of "tea party", just to bond with his little girls. The fact is, that at 4, 5, 6, and 7, kids of either gender aren't all that interesting to spend time with. They're just little kids, and their brains are growing. They're not going to be an intellectual or physical-skills match for adults, it's not their nature. It doesn't make sense to expect them to be.
The best any adult can do at that age is expose the kids to new things, introduce them to aspects of the world they don't know about, and observe what kinds of things capture their interest. Then build on that. And sometimes it's just about patiently keeping them company at their level, so they can bond and build trust. This may seem boring, but it will pay off in spades as the kids get older.
He is more than likely into learning new things.... HIS things.
You are forcing what you like onto him.
What are the YouTube videos about?
They can give insight as to what interests him, as mentioned above.
--or--
If they are fluff, you need to get him unplugged and into the real world.
OP-he's 7. He isn't likely interested in your things yet and may never be.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
