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Are you saying that a mother can't set boundaries and enforce discipline?
Often parents feel guilty or can't show their love - so they buy their kids affection.
I know a few of those. Feeling guilty as a parent is quite common.
Some parents also refuse to discipline their kids because they’re afraid their kids won’t like them.
They try to be their friend and not their parent. The child then grows up having no respect for their parent and also know very little about boundaries.
Or they may have been raised by parents who did this, and it’s the only model they know.
But from OPs posts, we can make a clear picture that the child has behavioral problems and should be evaluated by a professional.
BTW: if the mother does not believe in discipline and is not interested in proper parenting, perhaps she should give up her parental rights. Nothing good comes up from the way she is raising her daughter.
I feel sorry with the child - she is not getting help she so desperately needs.
Also, if the child is homeschooled, I doubt she is on the same level of education as her peers. She only learns what she wants to learn, it seems.
That is bizarre that she is allowed to stay home from school because she feels like it? If your friend is single i'm assuming she has to work? Is the kid home alone all day?
I'd be dragging her into the school kicking and screaming. Sounds like there are severe problems and hurting the dog is extremely alarming at that age
If the tablet was taken away or if the girl didn't get the food she wanted she would take a fit.
The school is not being useful.
My friend called the police once. They talked to her but it didn't change anything.
Ok.......tough love. Kid can "take a fit" but it still won't change the fact that the ipad is gone, no more amazon shopping and if she doesn't have junk food to eat she will eventually get hungry.
I have a friend that is a single mother with a 7 year old girl. The girl only does what she wants to do and expects my friend to serve her. She refuses to go to school and spends the day watching videos on her tablet. She'll only eat unhealthy foods and is quite overweight. She orders stuff from Amazon without permission. When my friend tries to tell her to do otherwise, the girl will ignore her. When she doesn't get what she wants she'll scream, break things and hurt the dog. My friend doesn't know why her daughter is like that but she thinks the girl needs medication and therapy.
Do you have any suggestions for her? There's lots I've left out so feel free to ask for details.
Cancel the Amazon and internet accounts. No Amazon or internet. Today.
Let her scream and break things. The child will stop once she see it doesn't work.
If you want to help, take the dog - now!
End of problems.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina
BTW: if the mother does not believe in discipline and is not interested in proper parenting, perhaps she should give up her parental rights. Nothing good comes up from the way she is raising her daughter.
She doesn't need medication and therapy- she needs a mother who knows how to be a parent and has child raising skills. She is simply a direct result of her poor upbringing.
This, at least in part. Your friend needs to take a parenting class,OP. I'm not qualified to say if more would be necessary; therapy at least, if not meds. I knew a woman who was a single parent of a pre-teen and a teen, both of whom she felt were "out of control". She took a parenting class. It made all the difference in the world. It was revolutionary. The girls settled down, and the family unit became much more functional. It's easy to point to meds as a solution, but that can be a cop-out for a parent unwilling to look at her own responsibility.
We don't have enough info to know if some form of therapy would be needed; is there trauma in the child's background, a messy divorce or separation or abandonment, etc.?
I agree with you. I brought up the subject of discipline with her and she said "so it MY fault!"
Well, there's your problem, OP. There's not much that can be done (other than feeding the child meds as a surrogate for good parenting, or hire a therapist to "fix" the child), while the mother washes her hands of responsibility.
is there trauma in the child's background, a messy divorce or separation or abandonment, etc.?
No trauma in the background.
There is an ex-boyfriend that is referred to as her father. He calls several times a week and visits on weekends. He is quite the unbalanced character. He shouldn't be around kids (or anyone else for that matter)
The girl gets assaulted at school from time to time. The school won't stop it.
There is an ex-boyfriend that is referred to as her father. He calls several times a week and visits on weekends. He is quite the unbalanced character. He shouldn't be around kids (or anyone else for that matter)
The girl gets assaulted at school from time to time. The school won't stop it.
This saga is getting a bit long in the tooth. What is your involvement?
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