Women attracted to male psychopaths (college, everything, sociopath, men)

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork

F

Life is hard. People can be vulnerable. We cannot all be rock-solid, all the time. There usually is not a shortage of vulnerable people who can be deceived, manipulated, coerced, preyed upon, and it isn't a vulnerable person's fault that they are vulnerable either. A lot of the time, they don't know just how much so they are, until/unless they recover and look back on things from a different perspective. Saying that psychopaths are "attractive to women" is...oversimplifying the matter. A lot.

Ita....it’s also oversimplifying a very serious...& rare...clinical diagnosis. We aren’t attracted to abusers either tho... it takes yrs of manipulation...isolation...& financial dependence.....without seeing the warning signs.

It’s so important we all know the warning signs for men that aren’t healthy & may be abusive to us....

Maintaining our own friendships & relationships with coworkers & family is *vital to a healthy relationship*.....

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

Ita....it’s also oversimplifying a very serious...& rare...clinical diagnosis. We aren’t attracted to abusers either tho... it takes yrs of manipulation...isolation...& financial dependence.....without seeing the warning signs.

It’s so important we all know the warning signs for men that aren’t healthy & may be abusive to us....

Maintaining our own friendships & relationships with coworkers & family is *vital to a healthy relationship*.....

Yep. Isolating a partner, in my opinion, should be seen as a HUGE red flag. And it might be one of the more obvious ones to spot and take note of (it was one of the first things I could really put my finger on with my Ex) when the abuse you're suffering is psychological/emotional/financial/etc rather than physical, and the gaslighting has you not knowing which way is up anymore.

I was one of those who said more than once, "Sometimes I wish he'd just hit me instead. It would be a lot less confusing."

[K12144]

Originally Posted by Shalop

Did anyone try to read the actual study and see whether or not the results/data are sensible and statistically significant?

Didn't need to... I read the story about the study and realized it was non-news. As I said in my former post, article pretty much said, "women are attracted to confident, charming men." Not "women are attracted to men who are batshyt crazy" the way the headline made it sound.

Originally Posted by oh-eve

Not sure why you are so snippy. I just told my story - I said I was dumb, what else do you want?

And it is abuse - you know, violence is easier to detect - if he would have hit me, I'd be at the cops within an hour. But manipulation and brainwashing - different story, it creeps up on you, there is no real evidence or the fact of a bloody nose. Words can be interpreted and twisted and used against you in a way that makes you wonder what is real and what isn't.

I didn't want to make this thread about me - I just said they can be pretty charming and by the time you realize that person is sick in their head - your mind makes all sorts of excuses for them.

Especially if they're also making other people think they're great, so everone all thinks you are the one with the problem if you say something's not right.

[mainebrokerman]

Originally Posted by silibran

This feels an awful lot like blaming the women. Blame the psychopathic males, for Pete’s sake.

ive seen too many times nice girls go for the bad boy losers..... then wonder why they are being treated badly.....
and a nice guy ...that will treat her like a queen (or with respect she deserves) she thinks might be a bit "boring"

ill never forget the movie .. maybe it was debra winger on urban or midnight cowboy ….when she fell for the cowboy and said "I finally got my cowboy" he moved in with her was a drunk and hit her..


usually women in their late 20's learn after being burnt...so many times to leave the losers alone..


im not blaming the women it's just their are nice decent guys all around.....all she has to do is smile at one she kinda likes....as easy as that ..

[K12144]

And it took as many as 44 posts for the "women don't like nice guys" trope to come out... or maybe that was the point of this article/thread anyway.

[chiluvr1228]

I wouldn't be attracted to a psychopath or a sociopath in a million years and think women who do need some psychotherapy.

[oh-eve]

Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork

Yep. Isolating a partner, in my opinion, should be seen as a HUGE red flag. And it might be one of the more obvious ones to spot and take note of (it was one of the first things I could really put my finger on with my Ex) when the abuse you're suffering is psychological/emotional/financial/etc rather than physical, and the gaslighting has you not knowing which way is up anymore.

I was one of those who said more than once, "Sometimes I wish he'd just hit me instead. It would be a lot less confusing."

Thats me! yes, if he would have hit me - I'd be at the cops and he is clearly the bad guy. But he always turned it around so it ended up my fault. And the isolating ... It is not always so black and white ... I had mostly guy friends because I have guy hobbies. He was jealous and told me they all just wait for me to sleep with them, which was kinda true. So I got rid of all those male friends. I had a few female friends left and they loved him - he was super charming to them.

Originally Posted by K12144

Especially if they're also making other people think they're great, so everone all thinks you are the one with the problem if you say something's not right.

Yes, that's how it was in my case - my parents and friends loved him because he was amazing in front of them. He sent flowers to work for me. He made my birthdays unbelievably fun and spoiled the hell out of me. Everyone was jealous. When we entered a room, people noticed us. We were attached at the hip.

Originally Posted by chiluvr1228

I wouldn't be attracted to a psychopath or a sociopath in a million years and think women who do need some psychotherapy.

yeah, that's what I thought, too. But then it happened anyway. I am a very strong, independent and dominant woman - and I was attracted because he was an alpha male, good looking, extremely smart and liked me for whom I was, we had super deep conversations, we had a deep bond within a short time because he was very interested in getting to know me. And then he used that information against me in fights.
I usually don't go for hot guys and I never will again.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by mainebrokerman

ive seen too many times nice girls go for the bad boy losers..... then wonder why they are being treated badly.....
and a nice guy ...that will treat her like a queen (or with respect she deserves) she thinks might be a bit "boring"

ill never forget the movie .. maybe it was debra winger on urban or midnight cowboy ….when she fell for the cowboy and said "I finally got my cowboy" he moved in with her was a drunk and hit her..


usually women in their late 20's learn after being burnt...so many times to leave the losers alone..


im not blaming the women it's just their are nice decent guys all around.....all she has to do is smile at one she kinda likes....as easy as that ..

Ita....but it’s sad because...women that are not financially independent or have their own interests & friendships...are the most vulnerable. They have the least to offer.....& they settle for a man that has the least to offer too.......

An abuser or a psychopath isn’t a “bad boy” tho.....he is emotionally unstable & a poor decision for a relationship. “Bad boys” can mean lots of things but I see it as a man that stands up for himself....goes against what is “normal or conservative”....& likes some adventure or risk taking. So guys that “treat you like a princess” can still be bad boys & not boring....IMO....

[oh-eve]

Originally Posted by mainebrokerman

ive seen too many times nice girls go for the bad boy losers..... then wonder why they are being treated badly.....
..

It's not that easy - you make it seem like we meet a guy and the guy says "I am a psychopath, I hit women, I abuse them, I manipulate them and suck the life out of them and then I treat them like garbage because I am mentally sick." And the woman says "Cool, let's date. I want to be treated badly."

It goes more like that - a woman meets a very nice, sincere, deep and sensitive guy who MAYBE discloses that he has a bad past, BUT he is mature now and so much better, only maybe sometimes is a little depressed. The woman falls for him because he is an amazing person and makes her feel like a princess.

THEN he changes.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by oh-eve

It's not that easy - you make it seem like we meet a guy and the guy says "I am a psychopath, I hit women, I abuse them, I manipulate them and suck the life out of them and then I treat them like garbage because I am mentally sick." And the woman says "Cool, let's date. I want to be treated badly."

It goes more like that - a woman meets a very nice, sincere, deep and sensitive guy who MAYBE discloses that he has a bad past, BUT he is mature now and so much better, only maybe sometimes is a little depressed. The woman falls for him because he is an amazing person and makes her feel like a princess.

THEN he changes.

But that is where knowledge of the warning signs can be so helpful......because there are warning signs & common histories you will find among abusers...& psychopaths..(but that is more rare)....