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Sometimes facial hair, especially coupled with cystic acne, can be caused by various hormonal imbalances. The OP should visit her OBGYN to find out.
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Sounds like the OP might have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). A friend of mine has this (and has married twice to appealing men). She went to an endocrinologist who was only concerned that she was likely infertile, and not that PCOS can easily lead to diabetes. OP should see a doctor or practioner who works with this for well being.
A lot of people out there think a woman has an easier time finding a romantic partner regardless of looks and the answer is no. There is a lot of gas lighting of women who find ourselves unattractive too, we are told we don't look as bad as we think. The reality is that life is not fair and some women get a ridiculously bad hand when it comes to appearance.
(venting here)
I've long accepted my looks (even though it was hard) but by the age of 14 I knew I was going to never find a romantic partner. By that age I was 210 pounds and covered in cystic acne, my facial features were awful with a large nose, long face, no chin and an enormous forehead. I had a very difficult hair type too- very coarse and could not really be tamed. At that age people were already starting to couple up in eighth grade so the pain of romantic rejection had just started for me.
The older I got the worse my looks became, my acne got worse, I couldn't lose weight, I grew facial hair and some how manged to get even uglier facially. My acne persisted until age 30 and I was left with bad scars on the my face and body. I developed a parotid gland tumor in my face and the removal of it left me with minor facial paralysis at 24. Even in my adult years people still tried to mock me for my appearance - especially strangers.
I've lost weight but will never be thin. My body has never been '''nice'' - it's just bad all around, weight loss or no weight loss and of course I'm still ugly. Bad teeth too despite years of dental intervention. Hair is still horrible - I've always had that hair type that can break brushes in half. At 33 I've never been on a date, never been kissed never any romantic opportunities. But as I said, I have reached a point of acceptance of that. I do wish society had more acceptance, belief and empathy for unattractive women. We do exist and sometimes no amount of ''glow ups'' will help us our genetics are such a way that improvement is hopeless. We're not all victims of self hatred and low self esteem either. Some of just want to have our story heard. Is it so hard to believe?
I was thinking about this the other day, due to yet another thread where some men complained that women only want "the top 5% of men". That night I was watching spring breakers in Miami being interviewed (on why they are skipping Mexico this year) and of 7 girls interviewed on the beach, only 1 was conventionally attractive, good body, etc. The rest were average, a little overweight, big nose, some other flaw that made them less than perfect...and I was thinking, "I bet those guys wouldn't go out with any of these girls, it is them who only want the top of the crop".
Anyone can meet someone. Whoopie Goldberg dated Ted Danson for years. Rhea Perlman married, Bea Arthur married, I could go on and on.
I am very sorry people act like that with you. I have a friend who takes many meds for a mental illness, and they cause weight gain. She is very obese, in fact when we go out we can't go anywhere that has a booth because she can't get in it. She is actually afraid to go outside by herself, even to walk her dogs, because she is so afraid people will make fun of her. You deserve much better.
I've known a number of people who truly lost the genetic lottery in terms of looks. Not just one unfortunate feature but several. All but a couple of them were admired and respected for reasons other than their looks and those reasons were of their own doing. They were some combination of kindhearted, charitable, funny, entertaining, courageous, loyal, welcoming, gracious, wise, or accomplished. When others talked about them their looks didn't tend to come up.
Clearly at some earlier point in their lives these folks realized they'd need to put the physical features they couldn't really change where they belonged and move beyond them. They may have struggled at some point, but they don't continue to. They realize anyone can lose their good looks in a flash. Other qualities are more durable and dependable. What troubles they have about themselves are up to them to solve, not society, so they're not waiting for society to change a thing. They've found value in themselves despite their outer shell. I also doubt they're waiting for society to conduct dialogs about unattractive women or men or to change how those folks are permitted to be viewed. They continue to get on with it in the meantime...which is all they have.
Last edited by Parnassia; 03-17-2023 at 06:03 PM..
I've known a number of people who truly lost the genetic lottery in terms of looks.
There are all sorts of genetic lotteries - physical, learning disabilities, mental illness, alcoholism, physical coordination, etc. I think a worse lottery is your parents. If you lose the genetic lottery, a great parent offer support and solutions. If you win the genetic lottery with bad parents, you'll still be in trouble.
It's like Lord of the Ring: “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time [I'll add "or genetics"] that is given us.”
We make the best of our situation, genetic and parental.
I do wish society had more acceptance, belief and empathy for unattractive women. We do exist and sometimes no amount of ''glow ups'' will help us our genetics are such a way that improvement is hopeless. We're not all victims of self hatred and low self esteem either. Some of just want to have our story heard. Is it so hard to believe?
You are speaking of fact, BUT not 100%. There is a guy that would love you. Probably not one you are attracted to. Ugly men have it bad as well. Dumb people also have it bad. Dumb and ugly have. it the worst, but they might not know it.
You need to have much lower standards probably. There are nice ugly men or broke men that are clueless that might be very great to be with if they love you.
You may die a virgin. That would be too bad, but at your age, it may be a Done Deal.
Learn to make yourself useful. Become a techie, learning nursing, become a great cook, etc.
Keep up or spiff up your grooming. Especially with unattractive people, good grooming is a must.
Study people whose social skills you admire. Study them closely, and learn how to fake being a caring, loving, supportive person.
You are literate, intelligent, rational and I assume able-bodied. You could be a great help to a lot of people. Work around other people, like in a hospital or doing trail maintenance, rather than one-on-one. You'll see better role-models to study, and more potential social activities.
Settle for companionship and friendship -lots of people would settle for that.
I would like to add, the classic phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
When I worked in bars I noticed people who always had dates and friends were able to attract people by getting to know others.
& Ask anyone who has been abused/rejected by an physically attractive person- the experience is so traumatizing, many form a phobia of having a similar looking person in their lives. (I had a drunk man scream at me for 5 minutes because I "look[ed] like" his former wife and he was enraged he lost so much money in the divorce. In that moment I was an unfortunate stand-in experiencing the anger this man wanted to vent towards his ex. Thank God there were two men and many passerby walking around when this man was going off on me, otherwise he probably would have struck me.)
Life is hard. But human connections are all we have. Go out there and experience life. If someone is cruel to you, move on, learn from your interaction, and keep going.
In my late teen I knew a woman. Not personally but I'd seen her a number of times. She had a bit of a facial deformity. I also had a friend who went out with this young lady and then cruelly dump her.
I asked why he did that.
He said he'd recently been hurt by another woman and so he took it out on this young lady. This guy was my college friend and what he did was out of character for him. I understood he was hurting as I've had women hurt me as well.
45 years later and I still remember that young lady and what my friend said. I was never a front runner with the girls growing up so I knew well the sting of rejection but to set someone up in order to hurt them?
But we were 18-19 at the time which doesn't make it right but might explians his actions.
You may die a virgin. That would be too bad, but at your age, it may be a Done Deal.
Learn to make yourself useful. Become a techie, learning nursing, become a great cook, etc.
Keep up or spiff up your grooming. Especially with unattractive people, good grooming is a must.
Study people whose social skills you admire. Study them closely, and learn how to fake being a caring, loving, supportive person.
You are literate, intelligent, rational and I assume able-bodied. You could be a great help to a lot of people. Work around other people, like in a hospital or doing trail maintenance, rather than one-on-one. You'll see better role-models to study, and more potential social activities.
Settle for companionship and friendship -lots of people would settle for that.
Lol..come on... no woman has to be a virgin if she doesn't want to be. I have seen some of the ugliest and fattest women have boyfriends and husbands..
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