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The idea that college isn't like vocational school doesn't really make sense to me, because that's what internships and residencies are for, isn't it? You wouldn't let a doctor or lawyer graduate without making sure he or she knew his or her craft, would you? Then, why would you allow a teacher to do so? My issue isn't getting jobs; it's keeping them because I end up seeming incompetent. It wouldn't be true if I related to people a little better, but I don't.
Just because you do not understand that college isn't like vocational school does not make it untrue.
IMHO, a liberal arts college education is designed create well educated individuals not skilled workers like plumbers or carpenters or auto repairmen.
Do you really think that every college graduate who majored in art history, women's studies, drama, film production, etc. etc. are going to get jobs in their field of study? I know someone who was an outstanding student in drama at her University and won numerous, numerous awards and accolades. Guess what? She was never able to get a professional job in the theater. She now sells expensive jewelry in a jewelry store and occasionally acts in unpaid roles in community theater productions. But, she does not criticize her University because she is a well educated woman with a well rounded education. She says that she does not regret her choice of majors for even a second and has found it very useful in many ways.
It’s not that you are ill-prepared, it’s that you are ill-suited. Big, huge difference. I got into medical school, very fortunately one of the requirements of that particular school was that we had to participate in a program that included a supervised 100 hour volunteer stint at a hospital the summer before the first year. By hour 10 I was unhappy, by hour 75 I knew I could never, ever be a doctor. Academically, I was more than capable and if I just been doing classes I would have continued to under the illusion that I had found my career. But the reality was touching other people was not something I would ever be comfortable doing and messing with bodily fuilds of strangers, especially ones who lacked hygiene skills, made me actually gag.
People tried to convince me that in time I would learn to tolerate it but I didn’t agree. I now know that with time they were right, I would be able to force myself to do what I needed to, but I also now know people would sense my inner disgust and that would impact my ability to give them the care they deserved, so it was the right thing to do. Instead I went back to school for an extra 2 1/2 years, had to listen to people say I threw away a great opportunity while I was wasting my intellect on teaching, plus had to pay for the whole thing myself because my parents, who had been perfectly willing to pay for medical school, refused to pay for me to be a lowly teacher.
I loved everything about teaching and education (until they decided schools should be about testing instead of education) and despite the first impoverished years never questioned or regretted my decision. Just because you can academically be successful and get a degree leading to certain profession or job does not mean you are emotionally or psychologically able to be successful. I would have done great academically in medical school, but I would have been a horrible doctor... or nurse... or physical therapist... or phlebotomist... or x-ray tech.... or anything that involved medicine, other than research. I would have also been miserable and probably would have spent decades considering myself a failure and questioning my every action on the job.
Find a job that suits you emotionally and psychologically, not just one you can pass the academic hurdles for. Most managers will tell you being a good fit intellectually, emotionally, and psychologically for a job is far more important than the “knowledge” or credentials someone has when it comes to who is the most successful. You can teach people the facts they need to know easily, provided they have a certain level of intellect, teaching people to have the right emotional intelligence for the job is virtually impossible and time cumbersome, even if you could.
My Anatomy and Physiology instructor in community college was actually a dentist. She went through the whole thing and then discovered she hated being a dentist. Nothing is ever what you imagine it is from the outside. Therapy (PT/OT) requires volunteer hours prior to applying as well.
That's one reason OP cannot just guess at a career, and glad she's going to get guidance.
I loved everything about teaching and education (until they decided schools should be about testing instead of education) and despite the first impoverished years never questioned or regretted my decision. Just because you can academically be successful and get a degree leading to certain profession or job does not mean you are emotionally or psychologically able to be successful. I would have done great academically in medical school, but I would have been a horrible doctor... or nurse... or physical therapist... or phlebotomist... or x-ray tech.... or anything that involved medicine, other than research. I would have also been miserable and probably would have spent decades considering myself a failure and questioning my every action on the job.
Find a job that suits you emotionally and psychologically, not just one you can pass the academic hurdles for.
Testify!
I'd add that a very large portion of teachers quit in their first five years. People usually toss around "half," but I believe the figure is more like 20-25% overall. Still, quite high. It's not an unusual or weird thing to do. Future employers are not going to be put off by "I love learning and teaching, but I found out that being a classroom teacher wasn't for me. <insert benign reason here>." What they WILL be put off by are firings, bad references, etc. which is the trajectory you're on. Your district has given you a chance to jump ship into a lifeboat, but if you don't move along gracefully, they're liable to make you walk the plank.
She is doing all they ask if her right now. Also I’m sure they are aware of her issues, they can’t have her stay but I don’t think they’d do anything to screw her.
First of all, to me it's not a matter of being ill-prepared for one career choice; it feels like perhaps I'm ill-prepared across the board--if I can't teach with this much training, I'm probably not able to do the other jobs for which I have significantly less targeted training.
I don't think I should worry about my age, as it's clear that I'm just not capable of becoming gainfully employed and moving up in a field like other people are. I may be one of those people who never finds gainful long-term employment but instead floats around from odd job to odd job. It's reality for some people, and I think I need to acknowledge that the teachers who told me when I was a child that I would have a comfortable life if I just got through school and went to college lied.
The idea that college isn't like vocational school doesn't really make sense to me, because that's what internships and residencies are for, isn't it? You wouldn't let a doctor or lawyer graduate without making sure he or she knew his or her craft, would you? Then, why would you allow a teacher to do so? My issue isn't getting jobs; it's keeping them because I end up seeming incompetent. It wouldn't be true if I related to people a little better, but I don't.
So this is the fault of your college, your professors, the school, admins, your coworkers, the students, and now your primary school teachers?
Why is every other person who has interacted with you to blame, rather than you? You have been posting for literally years about your struggles, and you still have not gotten professional help for dealing with your disability. That is the root of the problem and that is 100% on you.
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