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To expect a young lady to just pack up and move to a place she has never been, no family, no friends, etc for a job with at best minimal -- moderate pay is unrealistic. How's she supposed to even get settled, establish social support, etc?
Exactly the way I and the millions of other women who have moved to a completely strange city to take a job managed it. You move, you start participating in activities you enjoy, and you meet people who eventually become friends.
If I could move to a strange city where I knew no one and live on a meager graduate assistant stipend, the OP’s daughter could move to a city in a nearby state like Kentucky to take a teaching position. It’s fear that is holding the OP’s daughter back, nothing more.
To expect a young lady to just pack up and move to a place she has never been, no family, no friends, etc for a job with at best minimal -- moderate pay is unrealistic. How's she supposed to even get settled, establish social support, etc? There's more to life than just a job!
(snip)
In 1975, I moved from Wisconsin to Iowa for my first teaching job. It was a new, rather technical field and Iowa was years advanced over other states. In my school there was one woman who moved from California, one from Texas, one from Indiana, one from Oklahoma, and other staff from Midwest states. But, I was able to rent an apartment, move my furniture, make new friends, have an enjoyable social life and still see my family and old friends during vacations. My daughter recently moved to Paris, France (from Wisconsin) for a new job and is already building a social life with new friends, joining clubs & meet-up groups.
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Originally Posted by Aredhel
Exactly the way I and the millions of other women who have moved to a completely strange city to take a job managed it. You move, you start participating in activities you enjoy, and you meet people who eventually become friends.
If I could move to a strange city where I knew no one and live on a meager graduate assistant stipend, the OP’s daughter could move to a city in a nearby state like Kentucky to take a teaching position. It’s fear that is holding the OP’s daughter back, nothing more.
To expect a young lady to just pack up and move to a place she has never been, no family, no friends, etc for a job with at best minimal -- moderate pay is unrealistic. How's she supposed to even get settled, establish social support, etc? There's more to life than just a job!
In 1975, I moved from Wisconsin to Iowa for my first teaching job. It was a new, rather technical field and Iowa was years advanced over other states. In my school there was one woman who moved from California, one from Texas, one from Indiana, one from Oklahoma, and other staff from Midwest states. But, I was able to rent an apartment, move my furniture, make new friends, have an enjoyable social life and still see my family and old friends during vacations. My daughter recently moved to Paris, France (from Wisconsin) for a new job and is already building a social life with new friends, joining clubs & meet-up groups.
Whoa, folks! I did the same thing back when I was 26. I moved from Michigan to Texas to job hunt, found a job, found a husband and social life, and ended up staying in Texas! I had a friend -- my former college roommate -- that I stayed with at first to connect with. I guess in your case, your moves were a brave and bold step into the world of adulthood. However, in my case, because I moved from Detroit, I was considered to be part of "white flight"....whatever
Regardless, I did have a friend to connect with, which made all the difference. Its pretty difficult to just plunk down in the middle of a complete unknown and make some sort of life for yourself. It also helped that I moved to a college town (College Station), that was used to and geared to young adult transients. Also, it didn't hurt that I had ample savings, excellent credit, and a new, paid-off car!
I'm just saying such a move is quite an undertaking for someone with no support system at the new location. The OP daughter needs to look at how important her career is, as opposed to such a move. Change careers or change locations? Too bad one can't have both...
If as you say, she has had several "good" long term substitute positions, she should have been picked up by now as those positions are often thought of as "tryouts".
She should reconsider charter schools. The pay is lower than public schools, but you get the experience. Lots of teachers around here start off in charter schools and then get picked up by public schools.
Maybe at one of those schools where she had a long term substitute position, she could talk to a senior teacher and kind of find out what is being said about her. A principal will not be forthcoming, but a senior teacher might. I knew a brand new teacher who, although smart, was a little too aggressive in questioning the principal during staff meetings why things had to be done a certain way. As she had no tenure, she was not offered a second year contract "just because".
I agree, that there seems to be more to the story. When seeking to launch a career, it's not at all unusual to adapt to what's available, and accept the idea, that one has to move, or take a lower-paying job (charter schools or private schools, perhaps), to get the experience one needs, to build a resume that would allow one to have access to better choices later on. It sounds like, even after years of applying for jobs, she hasn't got this message, and has been unwilling to compromise. Taking a job out of state, or a charter school job in-state, for a few years isn't such a terrible fate, if it would enable her to get jobs in her preferred area in her preferred schools down the road.
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o expect a young lady to just pack up and move to a place she has never been, no family, no friends, etc for a job with at best minimal -- moderate pay is unrealistic. How's she supposed to even get settled, establish social support, etc?
The way much of the rest of the world does it? This attitude may be part of the problem. If she's unwilling to fledge from the family nest, she's handicapping herself. Someone who's actually contemplating giving up on the career they were trained for, even after having some substitute-teaching experience, just because they can't get a job in their home region in their preferred school type, is someone unwilling to compromise for the sake of launching that career.
She has choices; if she insists on staying close to home, she can apply to charter schools and private schools. If she gets a job close enough to home to be able to commute daily, she can live at home, and put away most of her earnings into savings, so the lower pay wouldn't be a hardship. If she wants higher pay, she can be open to moving away from home. This is reality.
Or she might be able to re-tool, taking some additional coursework to prepare her for a career offering some kind of therapy and coaching to special needs kids with a certain type of profile, and look for jobs at clinics or a hospital. She still might have to move, though.
OP, did your daughter go to college near home, or did she go away to college? If the latter, she already has experience making new friends and building a social circle. If she's always stayed close to home, never even having the experience of going away to summer camp, where one makes new friends and learns to get along with a variety of personalities, this sheltered experience hasn't done her any favors.
Like others here, I also wonder why she hasn't been able to get a job in one of the schools where she was a sub, and therefore is well-known. I suppose there's competition from other subs?
Believe it or not, Marylee, young woman can and do move to places they've never been and do just fine without someone to hold their hand.
The OP said that the daughter was applying for jobs up to 30 miles away. I bet that she still lives at home, other wise she could easily apply to jobs farther away and just move to a different apartment. And, 30 miles (depending on the traffic) is really not that far away.
I bet that there is more to this story, whether it is daughter being afraid to spread her wings and move away from the nest to be on her own or Mom & Dad (Grandma? Extended family?) putting pressure on her to continue living at home or continue living very close to home.
Perhaps our posts crossed? Please read above, post # 14
No, I read your post #14, and my point remains the same. You said it worked for you because you had a friend where you were moving. One more time, my point was that plenty of adults manage to move to a new community without having a "friend" there.
Believe it or not, Marylee, young woman can and do move to places they've never been and do just fine without someone to hold their hand.
No, my friend didn't "hold my hand". As a matter of fact, she moved to another city about two months after I arrived! Just it was nice to have someone to connect with, pick me up from the airport, stay with, then, I took over her lease.....guess that's "hand holding"? But if I got a taxi from the airport, stayed at a hotel, then found an apt through an apt locator.....would that be alright? No to mention such would have cost about half of my savings at the time, and it would still have involved leaning on others, the only difference would be for pay!
The pursuit of a career shouldn't limit one's choices for overall living!
Last edited by Oldhag1; 07-04-2019 at 07:41 PM..
Reason: Fixed formatting
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Too bad one can't have both...
