[tkln]

Originally Posted by GypsySoul22

Sadly, Arel, do not expect anything near NY libraries in VT....(well, in my part..) The funding is NOT there...We go to the Hanover Library (we had to pay to join) but it's the best in the area.

Ironically, I've found that the libraries I've been to in VT are at least as good, if not better, than the ones by me in Queens. I think that's probably the case of a lot of the libraries in NYC, though certainly not all of them (there are quite a few great ones).

Of course, crossing the border into Nassau County and seeing some of the libraries there - holy cow. At least you can see where some of the tax dollars go.

[vter]

Arel - you ought to contact the Reformer to see about doing a column about your experiences about moving up here. Seriously! Glad to hear things are going well so far.

[mustmove]

The library situation pisses me off. Number one in taxes and our library system sucks. Personally I'd say spend more on libraries and less on schools- help the driven kids and less bother for the lazy and stupid. I did ask for an interlibrary loan and I got a call saying the state didn't have the book but a college across the river in another state did and the librarian knew someone with access and they could get the book for me that way. Now that is service.

[GypsySoul22]

Originally Posted by tkln

Ironically, I've found that the libraries I've been to in VT are at least as good, if not better, than the ones by me in Queens. I think that's probably the case of a lot of the libraries in NYC, though certainly not all of them (there are quite a few great ones).

Of course, crossing the border into Nassau County and seeing some of the libraries there - holy cow. At least you can see where some of the tax dollars go.

I'm from Suffolk County originally and we had some awesome libraries. Again you know how much money went in taxes in each year...

I don't mind paying the $100 bucks a year to belong to Hanover. It's our basic entertainment (we watch videos, movies (cds), read a lot). Some people spent $ on alcohol, we prefer to spend on books.

[mustmove]

I thought only NH residents could join the Howe library? Maybe I heard the librarian wrong or they changed policy she did say anyone was welcome to come in and use the facility and read books on the premises.

[arel]

Brattleboro has a great library. I think the library director there has been named the best in the state.

To those of you who are praising my writing, thank you!

It's a big difference, though, between writing because you want to and writing because you have to.

On another note, I got a call from Sammy's new veterinarian. The call woke me up this morning. He got back some of the bloodwork, and he did not like what he saw. He said to take the cat to the Emergency/Specialty hospital and not wait for November 3. He expressed new concern about lymphoma. I went over, got the records and then drove down to South Deerfield (Exit 25 in Massachusetts, on I-91). They hospitalized Sammy. They said he is a very sick cat. Also, they said he's badly dehydrated and will feel much better once he gets fluids. They have to do a major work-up to find out exactly what is wrong. Probably, several things are wrong. He may have lymphoma. They have to find out.

Although my heart was heavy, I enjoyed the scenery on the ride down. When I drove on that section of I-91 Friday evening, returning from New York, it was dark. The beautiful scenery is a big reason why I much prefer to make the trip during the day.

It was also nice to know I only had to go as far south as South Deerfield. I didn't have to go to New York. I like that I can stay up here and not have to leave. I guess that is a good sign.

But my preoccupation with Sammy was not enough to protect me from the emotional jolt I get with many, if not most, professionals. I really hate it when a doctor, dentist, chiropractor or even a veterinarian introduces himself or herself as Dr. Last Name and then calls me by my first name. It is even more galling when the doctor is much younger. It is as if the doctor is saying "I have status. You don't. I am better than you are. Even if you are older, you still have to defer to me because I am better than you". This is so disrespectful and insulting. I chose not to say anything today, because I did not want to risk alienating anyone. I considered asking if there is a suggestion box, but I decided not to.

I appreciate how my vet's office in Brooklyn always called me by my last name. I called my vet Dr. .... But now that he is no longer caring for my cats, he wants me to call him by his first name.

There are lots of implicit messages in simple phrases and rituals.

But other than this, and the impersonal manner of the triage nurse, the experience was good. They brought Sammy out so I could say good bye to him before I left. I like to reassure him that he is not being abandoned. One or two times in the past, in Brooklyn, a doctor has taken him from the examining table and he has cried out in terror.

When I spent time with him and chatted with the nurse, Sammy wanted to be in close contact with me. It was hard to leave him there, but I know he is in good hands. The internist will see him tomorrow. I am so thankful that I didn't wait and that I saw a good local vet two days ago.

I left with a heavy heart, but with a much lighter wallet. The cost of his hospitalization (2-4 days) and his diagnostic work-up was over $2000. I am so thankful that I have the money to pay for so big an emergency expense. Some may think I'm nuts - a friend said just put him to sleep - but he is my cat. He is only 11. I've had him since he was a small kitten. They need to find out what is wrong before they can properly treat him. The emergency doctor suspects a chronic, progressive illness, but who knows. In my heart I don't think he's going to live very much longer, but I have to do what is in my power to do. The rest is out of my hands.

Lymphoma is very treatable, and, I read, about 75% of (presumably treated) cats go into remission. The question is, though, how long do they stay in remission? And what about Sammy's other problems?

Well, he hasn't been diagnosed with lymphoma yet. I'll have more information in a couple of days. The house feels lonely without him, even though there are 3 other cats. I need to appreciate their health and vigor. They won't always have it.

I left the facility and soon I got a call from them. I got scared. Had Sammy died? I was driving, so I had to find a place to stop and then call back. It was the doctor. She wanted information about Sammy's current medications. When did he have his glipizide and cyclosporine today? She also referred to herself by her last name and called me by my first name.

While I was waiting at the emergency facility, I bought some popcorn and cheese-filled cracker sandwiches at a vending machine in the lobby. On the way home, I stopped at a local deli (Vermont Country Deli) on Route 9. I parked down a side street and saw there was a dead end. Another street was roughly perpedicular. I heard rushing water. I looked over the fence at the dead end. I saw one of those drop-offs. Below was a brook in a short section of white-water. I imagined tiny creatures white-water rafting.

I got a bagel with smoked salmon flavored cream cheese, lettuce, tomato and sprouts. The sprouts were there because they had no onions. I also had some strong coffee. I tasted some barbecued pulled pork. No. Not today. My body was in no mood for it. I returned to my car, ate my bagel, drank my coffee and went home.

Well, I am home now, and, as you might have guessed, I am typing at my computer. The typing will stop shortly, as I am very tired and sad.

I have a photo of Sammy on my dresser. I also have one of Rudy, who died this past June. I find myself practicing the identity of someone who has three cats, not four. That's a bad sign. When Rudy was sick, I practiced the identity of someone who had 4 cats.

It's amazing how such small, helpless creatures can inspire such love.

In another vein, I set up my fax machine during the night. I went nuts looking for the appropriate wires in my boxes. I found an outlet in the wall for the fax and phone plugs, but then I found the outlet strip in one of my boxes and decided to use it. I believe those strips protect the equipment from surges. But now I can't find the handset for my phone. The locator on the base didn't help me, I guess because the charge on the handset has run out. I hope the handset isn't somewhere in my storage unit. Whatever, the phone can be used as a speaker phone, and the fax machine has a handset. But if I want cordless I need to use my cell phone.

So, ever so slowly, things are coming together. This is not a great time to deal with a deathly sick cat, though. But I guess no time is.

[NYLIER]

Arel, I don't even know you or your cat, but I am so upset. Did they tell you what kind of tests they are going to do? Please update us as much as you can.
I used to get a kick out of the people that would ask me my name; I would give them my first name and they would respond by saying they were Mr or Mrs so and so. I am impressed by the doctors (animal and human) that introduce themselves by their first name. It wasn't like that where I previously lived. I don't know why but it is much more comforting to me to call them by their first name.
I am not a regular churchgoer, but I will say a prayer for you both tonight. Sammy is in good hands and you are doing all you can for him.

YOU CAN TELL THE HEART OF A PERSON BY THE WAY HE TREATS AN ANIMAL.

[Sherylcatmom]

Arel, you and Sammy are in my heart. Your love and care for your feline babies is inspiring. They are as lucky to have you as you are to have them. And I hope the Deerfield hospital's care of Sammy is so wonderful that their demeaning/impersonal manner just fades into the background.

[GypsySoul22]

Sorry about Sammy, again. My good thoughts are with him.
We had to take our dog to the vet because she had an infection and needed a check up. Anyhow, it was a new office (since we moved to a new town with a closer vet we decided to try this office). The vet came in and introduced herself as Dr. So and So. I shook her hand and said Mr. and Mrs. (our last name).

You can ask them to call you Mrs./Ms./Dr. when you introduce yourself.

In Vermont it's a lot less formal than in NY...so you may just want to go with the flow.

Not sure about MA...

[arel]

The hospital was not demeaning and impersonal. The triage nurse seemed impersonal. She talked at me, not to me. The doctor talked to me, not at me, but it irks me to be addressed by my first name by someone who introduces himself or herself as Dr. Last Name.

I realize that people who become Doctors of one kind or another receive a special status, but it should be implicit, I think. I respect your knowledge, but to call me by my first name, when I have to call you by your last name, is demeaning, especially when I am older. I have an immediate, visceral reaction to it. I immediately feel tense and on the defensive. I know that is my hypersensitivity, but still, why can't the doctor just call me Ms. Last Name? My Brooklyn vet did, and it pretty much leveled the field. There is no leveling the veterinary knowledge field. There is no need for that. I go to a professional for their knowledge and expertise. That's a given.

When I am starting with a new psychotherapy patient, I almost always discuss with the patient how he or she wants to be addressed. Often I start out more formally and then we discuss the use of first names. When I introduce myself, I use my first and last name to make the matter neutral. I learn a lot about a patient by how he or she uses names.

Well, status or no status, I want my cat to get well.

Nylier, I didn't want to upset you, or anyone else. But I appreciate your concern about Sammy.