Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The law firm where I worked for ten years hired a friend of the senior partner's family, and she was key in getting me let go. (No, she wasn't the rabid Catholic I wrote about in a previous post...that was in the 1990's). She was the epitome of the abrasive, bullying, overweight "Queen Bee". She didn't like me from the get go, and did everything she could to make me look incompetent and undermine my self confidence. Fast forward 14 years? I have a job and career that I love (got a promotion and an awesome raise last year), and she died three years ago (due to Covid I suspect because she was obese and diabetic). Karmic justice? Who knows.
I've been to her grave. Not to pay my respects. Not to spit or dance or gloat either, but to tell her she didn't win, and to put closure to that unhappy chapter in my life.
I've been to her grave. Not to pay my respects. Not to spit or dance or gloat either, but to tell her she didn't win, and to put closure to that unhappy chapter in my life.
Wow. I've experienced some truly dysfunctional co-workers -- at least a half-dozen over the past 35 years (have I really been working that long?) One woman in Chicago and one man in Hartford stand out as truly nasty people. But I still would never dream of going to their graveyards. LOL.
Still, it's a great visual -- would be good in a movie.
Wow. I've experienced some truly dysfunctional co-workers -- at least a half-dozen over the past 35 years (have I really been working that long?) One woman in Chicago and one man in Hartford stand out as truly nasty people. But I still would never dream of going to their graveyards. LOL.
Still, it's a great visual -- would be good in a movie.
I can't imagine letting someone from work affect me enough to visit that person's grave years later.
I've been yelled at in front of coworkers, called stupid to my face, and harshly criticized in front of coworkers on a daily basis at one very toxic workplace, but even then I was just glad to get out of there and now have a "good riddance" attitude towards that job and those awful people. I wouldn't waste the gas to visit the grave if I found out that one of them had died.
I can't imagine letting someone from work affect me enough to visit that person's grave years later.
I've been yelled at in front of coworkers, called stupid to my face, and harshly criticized in front of coworkers on a daily basis at one very toxic workplace, but even then I was just glad to get out of there and now have a "good riddance" attitude towards that job and those awful people. I wouldn't waste the gas to visit the grave if I found out that one of them had died.
For this story, it wasn't my boss, but just down the hall. When it was announced he had terminal cancer, his employees threw a party for themselves celebrating the fact that he was going to die a slow, painful death. I don't know that anyone went to his gravesite, but what a sad statement about a life that he was such a miserable person that his employees and coworkers would celebrate his cancer as if it were divine retribution for the way he treated people.
I can't imagine letting someone from work affect me enough to visit that person's grave years later.
I've been yelled at in front of coworkers, called stupid to my face, and harshly criticized in front of coworkers on a daily basis at one very toxic workplace, but even then I was just glad to get out of there and now have a "good riddance" attitude towards that job and those awful people. I wouldn't waste the gas to visit the grave if I found out that one of them had died.
Long after landing my new position and moving on, I'd periodically have bad dreams of being back in the office, bullied and mocked by this co-worker. Even after I found out she'd died. PTSD, a therapist friend told me. Two summers ago, DH and I were out for a drive, and we happened to be near the rural cemetery where she's buried. I asked him to stop so I could look for the grave. After finding it, I confronted it and said "Mod cut., get out of my dreams, leave me alone." I felt better, and the dreams stopped.
To give a couple of examples of how horrible she was, I was once asked to go into the office on a courthouse holiday when we were closed (MLK Day) to help one of the attorneys prepare for a trial starting the next day. Turns out, co-worker also had come in for some quiet time to work on an estate. She was so angry I was there, she slammed out the door. I think she wanted to be the only self sacrificing martyr to give up the day off. She threw this tantrum in front of the attorney. She was nasty to them, too, gossiped and bad mouthed them behind their backs, and I think they were afraid of her.
One "Bosses Day", we jointly gave the attorneys each a gift card (she chose and picked it up, I just pitched in). I decided to add a little something extra, and baked them each a small pumpkin pie (I make terrific pies). When she saw I did this, she went absolutely hell on wheels.
Then there was my vacation...she was angry when I took that, too. The year of our 25th anniversary, DH planned a week long Outer Banks getaway (our anniversary was the end of June, so we would be gone through July 4th). She was having a July 4th picnic and had wanted to take some vacation days. Bear in mind, I had over six years seniority over her. The firm applied for a temp to replace me that week...but she insisted she "didn't need anyone filling in for me". I told the bosses, and they cancelled the temp. She didn't really WANT the temp cancelled, she just wanted to Mod cut. about their thinking they needed one.
While I was gone, her toes became infected (she was diabetic). When I got back, I had to hear about how she'd had to hobble around working alone, and she thought they were bringing in a temp. I told her, "You said you didn't need one".
After working there 9 1/2 years, they cut me to part time. Six months later, I was "let go". The person they hired to replace me mysteriously lasted only nine months.
I used to stop into the courthouse now and then to see friends, where they told me co-worker was a "Mod cut.". And the post office, where they said, "That fat woman is really RUDE".
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-22-2023 at 07:06 PM..
Reason: Inappropriate language; circumventing the filter.
I've worked with all sorts of annoying people, lazy people, mean people, etc., and I never even thought about complaining about them to the boss to try to get them fired. I just focus on my work and try to tune out the other people as best as I can.
Complaining about something serious such as illegal behavior or sexual harassment, I can understand, but not the piddly interpersonal stuff that I've seen people try to get others fired for.
I just believe that trying to take someone else's livelihood away is playing very dirty, and I would avoid someone who tried to get me fired like the plague. I wouldn't help or interact with that person above the bare minimum required.
So what drives some people to try to get their coworkers fired? Is it sociopathy?
You have obviously never worked or been in charge of a small team if you think this way. In my industry those that are lazy, mean etc are a liability to the team and will inevitable be told to improve themselves or leave.
The law firm where I worked for ten years hired a friend of the senior partner's family, and she was key in getting me let go. (No, she wasn't the rabid Catholic I wrote about in a previous post...that was in the 1990's). She was the epitome of the abrasive, bullying, overweight "Queen Bee". She didn't like me from the get go, and did everything she could to make me look incompetent and undermine my self confidence. Fast forward 14 years? I have a job and career that I love (got a promotion and an awesome raise last year), and she died three years ago (due to Covid I suspect because she was obese and diabetic). Karmic justice? Who knows.
I've been to her grave. Not to pay my respects. Not to spit or dance or gloat either, but to tell her she didn't win, and to put closure to that unhappy chapter in my life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by westender
Wow. I've experienced some truly dysfunctional co-workers -- at least a half-dozen over the past 35 years (have I really been working that long?) One woman in Chicago and one man in Hartford stand out as truly nasty people. But I still would never dream of going to their graveyards. LOL.
Still, it's a great visual -- would be good in a movie.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wangchin213
I can't imagine letting someone from work affect me enough to visit that person's grave years later.
I've been yelled at in front of coworkers, called stupid to my face, and harshly criticized in front of coworkers on a daily basis at one very toxic workplace, but even then I was just glad to get out of there and now have a "good riddance" attitude towards that job and those awful people. I wouldn't waste the gas to visit the grave if I found out that one of them had died.
I laughed so hard reading the posts above, even when I was driving to work and back home. I had to remind myself to drive carefully. I'm still grinning now. So funny. Thanks for the good laugh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff
For this story, it wasn't my boss, but just down the hall. When it was announced he had terminal cancer, his employees threw a party for themselves celebrating the fact that he was going to die a slow, painful death. I don't know that anyone went to his gravesite, but what a sad statement about a life that he was such a miserable person that his employees and coworkers would celebrate his cancer as if it were divine retribution for the way he treated people.
At my workplace, when this tyrannical lead manager got let go, everybody was so happy. They danced and sang and organized potluck to celebrate that woman was gone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Skeffington
Long after landing my new position and moving on, I'd periodically have bad dreams of being back in the office, bullied and mocked by this co-worker. Even after I found out she'd died. PTSD, a therapist friend told me. Two summers ago, DH and I were out for a drive, and we happened to be near the rural cemetery where she's buried. I asked him to stop so I could look for the grave. After finding it, I confronted it and said "[Snip.], get out of my dreams, leave me alone." I felt better, and the dreams stopped.
To give a couple of examples of how horrible she was, I was once asked to go into the office on a courthouse holiday when we were closed (MLK Day) to help one of the attorneys prepare for a trial starting the next day. Turns out, co-worker also had come in for some quiet time to work on an estate. She was so angry I was there, she slammed out the door. I think she wanted to be the only self sacrificing martyr to give up the day off. She threw this tantrum in front of the attorney. She was nasty to them, too, gossiped and bad mouthed them behind their backs, and I think they were afraid of her.
One "Bosses Day", we jointly gave the attorneys each a gift card (she chose and picked it up, I just pitched in). I decided to add a little something extra, and baked them each a small pumpkin pie (I make terrific pies). When she saw I did this, she went absolutely hell on wheels.
Then there was my vacation...she was angry when I took that, too. The year of our 25th anniversary, DH planned a week long Outer Banks getaway (our anniversary was the end of June, so we would be gone through July 4th). She was having a July 4th picnic and had wanted to take some vacation days. Bear in mind, I had over six years seniority over her. The firm applied for a temp to replace me that week...but she insisted she "didn't need anyone filling in for me". I told the bosses, and they cancelled the temp. She didn't really WANT the temp cancelled, she just wanted to [Snip.] about their thinking they needed one.
While I was gone, her toes became infected (she was diabetic). When I got back, I had to hear about how she'd had to hobble around working alone, and she thought they were bringing in a temp. I told her, "You said you didn't need one".
After working there 9 1/2 years, they cut me to part time. Six months later, I was "let go". The person they hired to replace me mysteriously lasted only nine months.
I used to stop into the courthouse now and then to see friends, where they told me co-worker was a "[Snip.]". And the post office, where they said, "That fat woman is really RUDE".
Dear Mrs. Skeffington, I really have empathy for you. I believe I totally understand how your feel b/c I had had bad experiences with two very bad and mean managers and a few mean/azzkissing coworkers before. There were so many employees, and some managers who were under the lead of that woman, had to suffer her for quite sometime. When this woman first came, she talked loud, yelled at employees, fired and hired people left and right. That woman made so many people cried. I could not imagine or understand how and why the upper management gave her so much power and let her to treat employees like that for quite long time. Later, many good employees quit, and so, so many employees called in sick. The company was like crazy. Eventually, she was gone. The next lead manager who took her position got a very bad "inheritance" from that woman b/c lots of people still felt resentful and could not get over with how they were treated. The new leader takes a long, long time to gain trust from many employees.
For those who are very lucky, or have never had a bad experience with mean managers or coworkers, they can never understand how you feel.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy234
You have obviously never worked or been in charge of a small team if you think this way. In my industry those that are lazy, mean etc are a liability to the team and will inevitable be told to improve themselves or leave.
Most people understand it's not an easy job to be a manager or to be in charge. But if most or more in-charge people/managers/leaders can be fair and/or can recognize lazy, cheating, mean employees and discipline them and help them to improve, the work world would be great. But no, there are many managers prefer socializing and azz kissers and favour them. Or many people in the management are coward. They just push and shove the ones who work hard and not to talk much, or whomever they think they can push and shove. But for those who know so many tricks, policies/laws about sickness, mental health issues, they can call in "sick" all the times and be lazy, and those managers cannot do anything to them. They just try to make the hard-working employees to do more to cover for the lazy and the "sick" ones.
The vacation resentment brought back a specific memory of one of the dysfunctional Hartford co-workers. But first I need to describe the person.
This guy was not in my reporting line until you got to the VP level, but rather he was simply another manager within the same division (not even the same department). Somehow, he decided he was to be treated as the top-dog "internal customer" of my team. LOL. He was also new -- had only started a few months before the incident.
Anyhow, after I had met him maybe twice -- briefly and in passing -- I found out he was complaining all the way to the division VP that my team did not consult him about the work he needed. The whole division's planning sessions as it related to my team were done at a fixed time -- like Wednesdays at 10am. I ran the weekly session -- titled something like "Westender's Team Planning" meeting. This meeting had been widely advertised in that time-slot for years, and it was understood that you came to the meeting if you needed my team to do some work for you. He never came to that meeting. He apparently expected us to intuit the work he wanted.
I managed to calm down that eruption, and soon afterward I left for a two-week vacation overseas. Apparently he went ballistic when he learned that I was OOO. He made a habit of standing behind my people, reading over their shoulders, bossing my team around, making crazy demands and generally interrupting their day. Even started hanging out by my corner area (which had a picture window unlike his desk) and pawing through our files. My team maintained a second office in another building across the street, and one of my female employees was so frazzled by him that she worked for a long time in this other office.
When I got back from India, I heard immediately about his insane behavior. Before I had even had a chance to write him up in a formal report, he appeared, stalking my work area. I said hello and something about hearing he had made a lot of requests while i was gone. The guy then said the following, totally deadpan -- well I guess everyone deserves a vacation -- with a smirk. OMG -- I smiled but was livid and had to exit before I smacked him. He was terminated before the year was up, and I think my report thankfully had something to do with it.
For this story, it wasn't my boss, but just down the hall. When it was announced he had terminal cancer, his employees threw a party for themselves celebrating the fact that he was going to die a slow, painful death. I don't know that anyone went to his gravesite, but what a sad statement about a life that he was such a miserable person that his employees and coworkers would celebrate his cancer as if it were divine retribution for the way he treated people.
Some people are resentful and things aren't going well in their lives. Or they're sucking up to supervisors. I had someone report to the principal at a school I once worked at because I was ordering lunch and eating it with the students who were eat8bg their lunch, even though they were being closely supervised.
Thankfully I left that miserable place.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
