So, about the oil changes, I guess in my area they all charge that much. I just checked with an independent and it was just a little less than the dealer.
About the M3 vs. IS-F cost ... according to the Kelley Blue Book, the invoice for an M3 is $52,585 and the IS-F is $51,957 ... BUT the MSRP is higher for the IS-F, at $57,635 and the M3 at $56,975. So ... it's a toss up on how good of a negotiator you are vs. the BMW or Lexus dealer.
One thing that I forgot to mention ... at least for my Z4, run-flats are required unless you want the entire trunk taken up by the spare, a jack, and a chock. And RFT's cost a cool $210 per tire MINIMUM and they aren't even good in snow!
I haven't checked with the latest models, but I do know that the 3 series cars come with RFT's as well. Obviously they don't have the same issue as my Z4 with the trunk space, but you basically double your cost to replace the tires.
The whole "need to check oil with the dealer" or an independent is ludicrous. I'm not going with BMW again. I will keep my 03 Z4, learn how to do some maintenance myself, get a buddy with a garage and do it myself, then get a Fusion (a family is in the future so I need a sedan, and BMW ain't getting my money again).
Finally just from my own experience with my Z4 ... here's some idea of how much you can expect your BMW to cost (local to the Seattle area):
Front or rear brakes: $550
RFT's: $210 per tire
Replace convertible motor: $850 (motor shorted out after getting waterlogged due to inefficient water drain design)
Oil change: $150
Don't forget that BMWs will not behave nicely if you get the "cheap" premium gas (like Safeway gas)... I tried it and after my second fill up the gas pedal stopped responding to inputs promptly! I have to use Shell or 76 at least.
Also don't be misled by the fuel efficiency ratings ... all BMWs require premium, and even if they do get 26 mpg it isn't very efficient cost wise.
Absolutely nothing wrong with the engine, gear box, electrical system (besides the poor convertible motor housing design), seats, drivetrain, suspension, or any of the critical systems of the car. I expect to get at least 200k on this car, and I'm almost halfway there.
But would I have traded it in for anything else? No. The reason is simply it is pure joy to drive on road trips and the occassional sprint around town. Yes it's not as fast as the neighborhood 16-year-old's daddy funded WRX with mods and a 747 wing, but that isn't the point. And unless you do drive in a BMW on a road trip or a spirited drive around, you simply won't understand. And all the expensive repairs and maintenance and such was worth every penny to be able to own a sports car that turned heads (and still does) and be able to make you smile the whole way (which did happen to me doing the Cascade Mountain loop in Washington state, and blasting down a reservation road in Arizona at ... a few miles an hour
). It was exactly what I wanted.
But times change, I have a wife now, and children will be on their way sooner rather than later, and I need something for them. And to me, owning a BMW makes much less sense now than when I was single and wanted a cool ride.