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I cannot give you any more reps and you do posts good information. I never heard that phrase before. It fits into my frugal lifestyle and I am going to use it and post it on my wall.
Use it up. Wear it out. Make it do or do without
It also apply to our body as as we age, we use it up and eventually wear it out. We make it do as long as possible, then we are forced to do without life itself, because there is no renew.
Maybe you could help with the laundry to ensure that the clothing is clean. I imagine at some point, if a person is frail enough, they may not feel that doing laundry as often as they used to is as worth the effort any longer. If items are torn but salvageable perhaps you could bring them to a tailor for mending? Perhaps take them shopping to choose some things for themselves. In the end, maybe you'll have to compromise. As long as they are safe, healthy and not harming themselves, their choices should be their own.
This person is very old and very stubborn and very controlling and mean . . . and that's just the half of it (or not even that). The person will not allow any "help" - that would be the obvious, easy fix . . .If I could, I would wash everything and throw anything not good out, but the person is controlling and difficult . . .
Was asking for ideas from anyone who might have run up against this issue.
This person is very old and very stubborn and very controlling and mean . . . and that's just the half of it (or not even that). The person will not allow any "help" - that would be the obvious, easy fix . . .If I could, I would wash everything and throw anything not good out, but the person is controlling and difficult . . .
Was asking for ideas from anyone who might have run up against this issue.
Let it go. If the senior is not incompetent, it's not your problem.
This person is very old and very stubborn and very controlling and mean . . . and that's just the half of it (or not even that). The person will not allow any "help" - that would be the obvious, easy fix . . .If I could, I would wash everything and throw anything not good out, but the person is controlling and difficult . . .
Was asking for ideas from anyone who might have run up against this issue.
Actually, I have run up against the issue. My grandmother wore the same (out of style) clothes for decades. We bought her new clothes and tried to insist she wear them (she never would). Eventually we did do her laundry for her and took her shopping (which helped a little). But the bottom line is she was a competent adult who had every right to make her own choices, and I didn't give a rodent's posterior what someone at the grocery store thought of her outfit because she was happy with it. So we realized we were being foolish and let it go. Though I do have to say my grandmother was not a mean or controlling person, as you have described your family member to be. Good luck to you, I know it isn't easy.
I think the key here is HAS THIS PERSON'S DRESSING HABIT CHANGED?
Throughout her life, my mother never cared much for stylish clothes, but she was always well-dressed and clean. In her early dementia/Alzheimer's days, she stopped bathing and wore the same housedress 24/7. It got very dirty but she refused to let anyone wash it, as doing so would have meant that she had to remove it and wear something else temporarily. She also became reluctant to have her hair cut (and, eventually, even to have it washed).
If your relative has always been reluctant to wear new or different clothes, then my suggestion would be that you leave her alone. But, if this represents a decided change in her behavior, you should be concerned about her mental health.
Went through this with my mom. She had closets full of nice clothes she was saving 'for good'. And she would wear ratty clothes every day and even out to the store etc. Her underwear was awful. I took a couple of the worst offenders and threw them away every time I did laundry and replaced them with freshly laundered new ones. She told me I was wasteful but she wore them because she had no choice.
And most of those clothes she was saving 'for good' ended up being donated after she died.
This person is very old and very stubborn and very controlling and mean . . . and that's just the half of it (or not even that). The person will not allow any "help" - that would be the obvious, easy fix . . .If I could, I would wash everything and throw anything not good out, but the person is controlling and difficult . . .
Was asking for ideas from anyone who might have run up against this issue.
Ok, this is a diferent issue all together. Call your state department on aging. They have social workers that can provide assistance, be it financially, medically or regarding housing.
My father got to the point of threatening people with a gun who tried to help him so I know about mean. I think alot of it involves loss of control.
Went through this with my mom. She had closets full of nice clothes she was saving 'for good'. And she would wear ratty clothes every day and even out to the store etc. Her underwear was awful. I took a couple of the worst offenders and threw them away every time I did laundry and replaced them with freshly laundered new ones. She told me I was wasteful but she wore them because she had no choice.
And most of those clothes she was saving 'for good' ended up being donated after she died.
My suggestion was going to be a variation of this ^^^. My DH is 67 and completely coherent, but hates change of any sort. I quietly throw away holey socks and underwear etc a peice or two at a time and silently add new stuff to his drawer. He knows what I'm doing, but since he doesn't "catch me" in the act and the old stuff is gone..he just grumps about the new stuff, but eventually wears it.
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