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My parents are on a memory care unit and I brought my grandmother’s quilt on a display rack and now it’s missing. I complained to them it needs to be found because that’s a family heirloom. They asked me when did it go missing and I said it doesn’t matter and I don’t have time for odd questions and that they need to find it.
Anybody dealt with incompetent staff?
Last edited by PJSaturn; 04-26-2022 at 10:02 AM..
Reason: Corrected typo in thread title for clarification.
I was just thinking about this yesterday. Even though I marked all my mom's clothes with a Sharpie (her name) her clothes constantly went missing.
Most of the items in her room stayed in there but not all of them. For instance, she loved photos but I got hardly any of them back. Where did THOSE go? Who knows.
Also when I was cleaning out her room, I found, of all things, a TASER. I have no idea where she got that, but clearly she stole it from someone. She also had many, many pairs of scissors in her room and I know when I moved her in there, I didn't move any scissors in there, but she got hold of them somehow. So don't underestimate other residents either.
I never got anything back and I bet your quilt never finds its way back to you either. But good luck - maybe it will resurface.
Chances are, someone knows who took it, but you’ll likely not see it again. I am not sure why you’d take it to a memory care unit. If you make a big enough stink, it might reappear mysteriously, but in the meantime your insistence might prompt staff to find a “reason” to evict your parents.
Choose your battles.
It is OK to speak to the manager about this. Tell him/her you want it back, no questions asked. Talk to this person respectfully, and be persistent, my guess (only a guess) is that it was taken by someone on the night shift. But, it could also be in another resident’s room. I imagine other things have gone missing there. When you speak to management, be factual and respectful.
Valuable possessions should not placed in a memory care unit.
Working in a memory care unit, I would often see residents in other residents' rooms going through their stuff. They love to rummage.
In the assisted living part of facility, things were often taken by CNA's.
Working in a memory care unit, I would often see residents in other residents' rooms going through their stuff. They love to rummage.
In the assisted living part of facility, things were often taken by CNA's.
I had 2 paragraphs and it’s not letting me type all of it…
Quote:
Originally Posted by tasmtairy
Working in a memory care unit, I would often see residents in other residents' rooms going through their stuff. They love to rummage.
In the assisted living part of facility, things were often taken by CNA's.
To be honest it was my brother who put it in her room and then him and his wife bought a Amazon echo dot where my parents can call us. I told him they have dementia and couldn’t finger out how to work a cell phone. Also I told him the Echo Dot will be stolen.
Chances are, someone knows who took it, but you’ll likely not see it again. I am not sure why you’d take it to a memory care unit. If you make a big enough stink, it might reappear mysteriously, but in the meantime your insistence might prompt staff to find a “reason” to evict your parents.
Choose your battles.
It is OK to speak to the manager about this. Tell him/her you want it back, no questions asked. Talk to this person respectfully, and be persistent, my guess (only a guess) is that it was taken by someone on the night shift. But, it could also be in another resident’s room. I imagine other things have gone missing there. When you speak to management, be factual and respectful.
Valuable possessions should not placed in a memory care unit.
The bolded. Mom could have given away the quilt, she could have soiled it badly and it wound up in the trash, she could have left it in someone else's room, someone could have wandered into her room confused and taken it.
I wouldn't leave anything valuable or easily breakable in Memory Care. You can print pictures off the computer and frame them with inexpensive or even paper/cardboard type frames to hang or place in the room. That way if they go missing they are easily replaced.
You could try checking to see if there is a lost/found in the laundry room.
They asked me when did it go missing and I said it doesn’t matter and I don’t have time for odd questions and that they need to find it.
Anybody dealt with incompetent staff?
That was an odd question? On the contrary. FWIW, an attitude like that isn't going to gain you any allies. If you show you are unwilling to cooperate in helping them solve your problem, it makes it a bit more likely that an overworked underpaid staff will put it on the back burner. They have more than enough on their plates caring for the residents themselves day in day out.
IMO, asking you when the heirloom might have gone astray would help narrow down the possible explanations for it. Was it 2 days ago? A week? A month? 4 months? Maybe there was some sort of maintenance or policy change that coincided with the quilt going astray. Knowing the timing would help eliminate things like that as a contributing factor. The timing of staff changeovers (ie when a particular employee might have been on duty and who could have moved, stored, or actually stolen the quilt) could play into it. A documented shift in one of your parents' cognitive states or consequent behavior might suggest what happened to it. But, if you can't or won't provide any useful information, no one will probably ever figure out what happened.
As others have already commented, irreplaceable family heirlooms don't belong in a memory care unit. Your family was probably advised not to bring such items into the facility. Much better to bring them in for visits but keep them somewhere safer. Lesson learned.
Last edited by Parnassia; 04-24-2022 at 01:05 PM..
If the quilt became soiled and was sent to the laundry, it's possible that it got ruined in the wash. I wouldn't blame the staff for not being aware that the quilt had special cleaning instructions. Only send wash and wear items and washable bed coverings to Memory Care.
Last edited by springfieldva; 04-24-2022 at 01:19 PM..
They were asking when it went missing to try to narrow down the possibilities of where (or with whom) it might have disappeared. It is not necessarily an odd question.
If it went to the laundry, it may have disintegrated. As others have said, other residents sometimes wander in and out of rooms so the least they should do is check if it “walked” to another room.
I would suggest the “no questions asked” route for the quilt’s return as it may then be miraculously found. Otherwise you do not have much recourse. Nothing irreplaceable or of value should be in your mother’s room.
My parents are on a memory care unit and I brought my grandmother’s quilt on a display rack and now it’s missing. I complained to them it needs to be found because that’s a family heirloom. They asked me when did it go missing and I said it doesn’t matter and I don’t have time for odd questions and that they need to find it.
Anybody dealt with incompetent staff?
OP, sorry, but why on earth wouldn't you answer their simple questions (which were NOT the slightest bit "odd," to use your word)?
And why on earth would you TAKE a family heirloom to a memory care unit room?
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