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I am fully supportive of your situation and have no criticisms. I just want to point out that as a 72 yr old woman it is very difficult for me to find work that I can do. It is very likely the same for your mother. She doesn't have skills so it would be fast food, Walmart, store clerk, things like that. Those jobs are extremely taxing on an older body. I had a job for 3 months at Walmart, until my body and mental health couldn't take it anymore, it was that bad. I was taking 800+ mg of Ibuprofen every day just to make it through, not to mention all the complete b.s. one puts up with from management an co-workers. The customers were actually better than management and some co-workers.
So while your mother technically can work, it will be difficult for her to find work that she can do. Keeping up with younger employees (there are lots) is difficult. It can be done, but employers often expect every single employee to hit the ground running. That's not possible for an older woman who's really never worked (or worked much). I worked in the corporate world for 30 years. There's no way I can get a job there now (law) because I've been out too long. I would have to go back to school to learn computer programs and apps, and study the law of the state I live in. As for WFH online work, I don't speak Spanish so far to many jobs are unavailable to me. The whole thing is maddening, because I can work and I want to work, but it is not that easy. Don't let anyone tell you it is. I've been dealing with this for many years after becoming disabled at age 51. On top of all I just described, there is ageism. It is subtle but it is there.
If your mother could get work as a companion/light caregiver, that would be optimal. That is something she could probably do. In certain areas they make a pretty decent hourly wage (especially in California). I have done that, but for family members, so I was unpaid (glad to do it). And for example, my father lived in a retirement center in California. There were many women caregivers there making $15/hr (in 2019, it's likely higher now) and they would even double or triple up to care for more than one person in the building, like a job share. Certainly she could do that kind of work, especially for only one person.
Thank you.
Yes, I agree, it's not easy for someone her age to get work considering her limited experience and current health. She's mobile, but she 1) doesn't have a driver's license, and 2) cannot stand for too long 3) she gets easily frazzled. The light caregiver seems like something she'll probably be able to handle.
But alas, I can't be the one to counsel her on finding work. When she is on her own with her sister, she won't have as many resources available to her, so she may say to herself, well, I may have to do it.
I have abandoned the idea of forcing the subject with her, I've already cut back on many things I once did for her like drive her to 90pct of places, and picking up things for her. There's a store close by, she asked me to pick up something for her but I declined, she is capable of walking as it is close enough. I could tell she was annoyed by that but I hope she sees from now on she will have to bring herself to the store.
I don't want to be rude but I have to take steps so she can get used to the fact she will have to do things herself while she is still mobile.
You're doing the right thing on pulling back. I will say that it's not that easy to find a companion/caregiver job. Most of them require a driver's license so you can tote the person to a dr. appt or some other errand.
I would think the Area Agency on Aging could help her find something, but I haven't checked into that for a while. There is a serious lack of resources for seniors. If she can contact a caregiver agency and let them know her limitations (mostly it would be no car) they might be able to find something that is a fit. Just show up and be a presence for the person. Another idea is to do overnight caregiving. I met a woman 6years ago who was making $200/night doing overnight caregiving. Very easy because it is mostly being available for whatever they need. It might be too taxing if there is an emergency, but it's worth a try.
I've seen on here that people think there are tons of services and resources for seniors, hey just go get them! They are there for the taking! No. There is not. Those knee-jerk opinionated people are not out there looking for crucial things, being in need. They sit in their armchairs and kneejerk their reactions while being sorely uninformed.
A large percentage of seniors are a whole demographic that is shoved aside. Seniors are expected to ask family for help. The unspoken message is that families are supposed to help. Most families are not there to help. That is the norm rather than the exception.
It doesn't sound as though a job dealing with the public would be a good fit for your mother. This is true for lots of seniors. As we get older, our eyesight and hearing become compromised, making those jobs more difficult - not to mention arthritis and other issues stemming from aging.
If your mom is 75 (correct me if that is wrong) it is highly unlikely that she is going to be able to go out and get a job and pay for an apartment, etc.
I am fully supportive of your situation and have no criticisms. I just want to point out that as a 72 yr old woman it is very difficult for me to find work that I can do. It is very likely the same for your mother. She doesn't have skills so it would be fast food, Walmart, store clerk, things like that. Those jobs are extremely taxing on an older body. I had a job for 3 months at Walmart, until my body and mental health couldn't take it anymore, it was that bad. I was taking 800+ mg of Ibuprofen every day just to make it through, not to mention all the complete b.s. one puts up with from management an co-workers. The customers were actually better than management and some co-workers.
So while your mother technically can work, it will be difficult for her to find work that she can do. Keeping up with younger employees (there are lots) is difficult. It can be done, but employers often expect every single employee to hit the ground running. That's not possible for an older woman who's really never worked (or worked much). I worked in the corporate world for 30 years. There's no way I can get a job there now (law) because I've been out too long. I would have to go back to school to learn computer programs and apps, and study the law of the state I live in. As for WFH online work, I don't speak Spanish so far to many jobs are unavailable to me. The whole thing is maddening, because I can work and I want to work, but it is not that easy. Don't let anyone tell you it is. I've been dealing with this for many years after becoming disabled at age 51. On top of all I just described, there is ageism. It is subtle but it is there.
If your mother could get work as a companion/light caregiver, that would be optimal. That is something she could probably do. In certain areas they make a pretty decent hourly wage (especially in California). I have done that, but for family members, so I was unpaid (glad to do it). And for example, my father lived in a retirement center in California. There were many women caregivers there making $15/hr (in 2019, it's likely higher now) and they would even double or triple up to care for more than one person in the building, like a job share. Certainly she could do that kind of work, especially for only one person.
Walmart jobs generally require you to be on your feet all day long. Some positions have you walking for miles around the store all day and hauling heavy stuff around, climbing ladders, etc. It's brutal, grueling taxing work for an older person. I've seen a disabled Walmart greeter be allowed to sit in a chair during their shift. I've also seen Aldi cashiers being allowed to sit in chairs behind the register.
Not all retail jobs are as physically demanding but those jobs also don't tend to give you a lot of hours. But it's important to know that retail jobs have changed. You need to have a Smartphone and you need to know how to install and use apps. You should be familiar with using tablets and have some familiarity with computers. None of it's hard but the kids running the show these days grew up using all of these devices and assume that everyone else has used them, too. Don't expect them to train you on it. It would be akin to expecting a supervisor back in the day to show you how to use pen and paper.
One thing that might work well for this lady is pet sitting. If she likes animals it's a low tech, not too physically challenging job that can bring in extra money. Clients would expect her to text updates/pictures and to have a general familiarity with things like Facebook messenger. If she wanted to get some experience she could volunteer at her local animal shelter or rescue.
Also, look into the senior classes at the community college or local library. They are low cost and sometimes even free.
How old is your mom? She should be able to collect SS based on her ex husband's employment record. Yes, it's generally half of what he is collecting but it could be more than she is getting based on her own work record.
How old is your mom? She should be able to collect SS based on her ex husband's employment record. Yes, it's generally half of what he is collecting but it could be more than she is getting based on her own work record.
And I think they do need to have been married ten years or longer.
And I think they do need to have been married ten years or longer.
Yes, I'm assuming they were married 10+ years because she was a stay at home mom who took care of the kids while her husband worked and that is the reason for her lack of work history.
Yes, I'm assuming they were married 10+ years because she was a stay at home mom who took care of the kids while her husband worked and that is the reason for her lack of work history.
One of the reasons. I don't believe the woman even has a driver's license! She really needs to get a driver's license.
Yes, I agree, it's not easy for someone her age to get work considering her limited experience and current health. She's mobile, but she 1) doesn't have a driver's license, and 2) cannot stand for too long 3) she gets easily frazzled. The light caregiver seems like something she'll probably be able to handle.
But alas, I can't be the one to counsel her on finding work. When she is on her own with her sister, she won't have as many resources available to her, so she may say to herself, well, I may have to do it.
I have abandoned the idea of forcing the subject with her, I've already cut back on many things I once did for her like drive her to 90pct of places, and picking up things for her. There's a store close by, she asked me to pick up something for her but I declined, she is capable of walking as it is close enough. I could tell she was annoyed by that but I hope she sees from now on she will have to bring herself to the store.
I don't want to be rude but I have to take steps so she can get used to the fact she will have to do things herself while she is still mobile.
Oh, yikes, I didn't realize that she doesn't drive. That makes her options even more limited.
She has really allowed herself to become quite helpless. Did she drive when she was younger or did she at some point simply stop driving herself around? I'm trying to imagine being a SAHM with children to care for and I can not even imagine not being able to drive them to school, take them to doctors/dental appts, run errands, etc. She has allowed her world to get very small.
One of the reasons. I don't believe the woman even has a driver's license! She really needs to get a driver's license.
Agreed. At least get a driver's license. Rent a cheap room close to shopping and get an old golf cart to drive around. This lady needs to stop being so heavily dependent on others unless, of course, there is a reason she should not be driving (failing eyesight, some medical condition, legal reasons).
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