Should I take my cat back to the Rescue? (felines, adopting, grooms)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This kitten is begging for your attention and some bonding. By shutting doors and keeping him away from you is cruel, no matter how much "attention" you think you are giving this poor thing. It is definitely not healthy for the kitty. This is a loving animal that only wants some cuddling and talking to. Why not open your doors to him, let him on the bed, no big deal. He'll settle down into a routine, but now you're not allowing that. You are literally shutting him out.
Please, find him a loving nurturing home soon.
Unfortunately,I have to agree. The poor little thing didn't have a fighting chance. I hope it finds the home it so deserves.
You will have nightmares about bringing that cat back to the shelter.
You will never know if it got a better home than you could provide.
It would have been fine and happy with you.
The kitten was not fine or happy. He was alone 22 hours a day. That, as has been agreed upon by every knowledgeable experienced cat person in this forum, is no life for a cat.
Rather than nightmares, the OP can feel good that s/he made such an unselfish decision.
Last edited by catsmom21; 04-24-2014 at 03:11 PM..
Just for the sake of science, I decided to leave my door open last night while I slept, and, like I expected, he was all over me at first wanting to rub my face and lay on my head, but he did eventually calm down and sleep on either side of my pillow. He did wake me up a few times in the night trying to do the same thing and meow for attention; however, in the morning he was a lot less clingy than he had been. Even if he got adjusted to sleeping at night with me, he still wouldn't get but 2.5 hours of attention during the day. Obviously I can't give him attention while I'm sleeping. He'd just have the comfort of knowing I was home because he could see me and lay with me.
CaptianCode, I just want to check in again with you. Please, please find out the policies of the re-homing place where you got the kitty from, ensuring that they have a NO KILL policy to include pets that have been returned. Also, its important that you tell them that there is NOTHING wrong with the cat.. be honest about why you are returning him if you do decide to do that. A goodwill donation would help towards kitty's keep, too.
I'm so sorry for the both of you that it hasn't turned out as you hoped, but, WE all make mistakes. Good Luck!
Another vote for return the cat. I don't really understand why the OP wanted to adopt a cat. OP appears to be a "dog" person that settled for cat thinking the cat would fit the schedule. The cat sounds like a typical kitten of that age. I don't think an older cat would change the situation that much since it is possible that it will want attention because ours always enjoyed hanging out with the family whenever we were home. Pets have emotional needs and if not met, behavioral problems can surface. We have a guinea pig but even then it would require more attention than OP could give in order to stay happy and healthy. Maybe a reptile? Fish?
Just for the sake of science, I decided to leave my door open last night while I slept, and, like I expected, he was all over me at first wanting to rub my face and lay on my head, but he did eventually calm down and sleep on either side of my pillow. He did wake me up a few times in the night trying to do the same thing and meow for attention; however, in the morning he was a lot less clingy than he had been. Even if he got adjusted to sleeping at night with me, he still wouldn't get but 2.5 hours of attention during the day. Obviously I can't give him attention while I'm sleeping. He'd just have the comfort of knowing I was home because he could see me and lay with me.
PLEASE, call the shelter where you got the kitty, make sure it's a no kill shelter and give this kitty a chance for a nurturing home. Stop the experiments, science doesn't even enter into the equation. A loving forever home is needed. You've already made up your mind not to keep him, you were not a good fit for each other to begin with. My kitty sleeps on the bed every night, for all of her 15 years since she was 10 wks. old. I keep my animals for life ... their life. They are not disposable. Whatever got you thinking that dogs need attention but kitties don't.
The rescue is indeed a no-kill facility. They verified that to me on the phone. I have no problems with animals sleeping on my bed with me, and really like it. When I had dogs they'd sleep on my bed all the time. I'd prefer it if he could sleep on the bed with me. I knew cats needed attention (but not as much as dogs. I.e. having to take them on walks so they could use the restroom several times a day, keeping them cooped up in a kennel and needing to be there every few hours to let them out to stretch their legs, use the restroom, and eat). Obedience training too and dogs can be more destructive (sometimes). I certainly don't think animals are disposable. I was just too eager to get a pet after 4 years of not having one (because I wasn't allowed), and then finally living on my own which gave me the possibility of having a pet, but I didn't fully consider how long I'm actually gone during the day. I just jumped in too quickly without thinking. I wouldn't give him back if I didn't think it was in his best interest.
The rescue is indeed a no-kill facility. They verified that to me on the phone. I have no problems with animals sleeping on my bed with me, and really like it. When I had dogs they'd sleep on my bed all the time. I'd prefer it if he could sleep on the bed with me. I knew cats needed attention (but not as much as dogs. I.e. having to take them on walks so they could use the restroom several times a day, keeping them cooped up in a kennel and needing to be there every few hours to let them out to stretch their legs, use the restroom, and eat). Obedience training too and dogs can be more destructive (sometimes). I certainly don't think animals are disposable. I was just too eager to get a pet after 4 years of not having one (because I wasn't allowed), and then finally living on my own which gave me the possibility of having a pet, but I didn't fully consider how long I'm actually gone during the day. I just jumped in too quickly without thinking. I wouldn't give him back if I didn't think it was in his best interest.
I've never had a single cat. If I had one cat, I had two. The reason is, when I'm gone during the day, and as you have discovered, the cat does get lonely. Having a companion there made it easier for the cats.
As for the night time thing...if you were to allow him in to your room at night all the time, you would see even less clingy behavior, but you must remember, you are dealing with a kitten. Kittens need attention. They need it like they need food. Denying them a space next to you in bed because they purr in your face, or rub up all on you, or wake you up at night...well, that's part of cat ownership. You have no idea how many times I have been woken up by my pets...dogs included. That comes with the territory. But you get used to it. And you will be able to fall back asleep easily...even after they knocked your favorite planter off the top of the dresser, breaking it and spreading plant fertilizer everywhere....not that I have any experience with that....recently....within the last week....
You have to ask yourself: Do you mind having a cat rub on your face when you turn out the lights to sleep? Do you mind having your cat follow you to the bathroom? Do you mind having your cat try to stick his face in your milk glass or cereal bowl or even dinner plate? Do you mind that the cat is going to knock things over, possibly break things? Do you mind that it may use your couch as a scratching post while you teach him, patiently, that the cat tree is the real scratching post? Do you mind that he may fling his litter six ways to Sunday every. single. damn. time. he uses it? Do you mind that he may tear around the house, at 3 in the morning, chasing imaginary objects, making strange noises as he does? Do you mind cat hair on your clothes, bedspread, towels, laundry fresh from the dryer? Do you mind your cat sitting on your keyboard because it's warm? Do you mind your cat plopping itself down right in the middle of the paper as you read it in the morning or evening? Do you mind your cat horking up in the hallway in the middle of the night, leaving you a nasty surprise when you walk down that hallway the next morning? Do you mind spending some time playing with your cat every day? Do you mind just sitting there, holding the cat, and petting it, doing nothing else, for periods of time when you're home? Do you mind that the little creature you brought home relies on you for everything, including affection, entertainment, and love as well as food and water?
If you mind any of these things...then return the cat. If you think that you might learn to adjust how you've been living for the past four years to accommodate your new friend, then why not try to adjust, see how it goes? Your new cat has made many adjustments for you...maybe you can make some for him.
I've never had a single cat. If I had one cat, I had two. The reason is, when I'm gone during the day, and as you have discovered, the cat does get lonely. Having a companion there made it easier for the cats.
As for the night time thing...if you were to allow him in to your room at night all the time, you would see even less clingy behavior, but you must remember, you are dealing with a kitten. Kittens need attention. They need it like they need food. Denying them a space next to you in bed because they purr in your face, or rub up all on you, or wake you up at night...well, that's part of cat ownership. You have no idea how many times I have been woken up by my pets...dogs included. That comes with the territory. But you get used to it. And you will be able to fall back asleep easily...even after they knocked your favorite planter off the top of the dresser, breaking it and spreading plant fertilizer everywhere....not that I have any experience with that....recently....within the last week....
You have to ask yourself: Do you mind having a cat rub on your face when you turn out the lights to sleep? Do you mind having your cat follow you to the bathroom? Do you mind having your cat try to stick his face in your milk glass or cereal bowl or even dinner plate? Do you mind that the cat is going to knock things over, possibly break things? Do you mind that it may use your couch as a scratching post while you teach him, patiently, that the cat tree is the real scratching post? Do you mind that he may fling his litter six ways to Sunday every. single. damn. time. he uses it? Do you mind that he may tear around the house, at 3 in the morning, chasing imaginary objects, making strange noises as he does? Do you mind cat hair on your clothes, bedspread, towels, laundry fresh from the dryer? Do you mind your cat sitting on your keyboard because it's warm? Do you mind your cat plopping itself down right in the middle of the paper as you read it in the morning or evening? Do you mind your cat horking up in the hallway in the middle of the night, leaving you a nasty surprise when you walk down that hallway the next morning? Do you mind spending some time playing with your cat every day? Do you mind just sitting there, holding the cat, and petting it, doing nothing else, for periods of time when you're home? Do you mind that the little creature you brought home relies on you for everything, including affection, entertainment, and love as well as food and water?
If you mind any of these things...then return the cat. If you think that you might learn to adjust how you've been living for the past four years to accommodate your new friend, then why not try to adjust, see how it goes? Your new cat has made many adjustments for you...maybe you can make some for him.
WONDERFUL POST! AND ALL SO VERY TRUE! Like I said before in one of my previous posts.....the calm,good,loving times far outweigh the bad and they are well worth it!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The cat sounds like a typical kitten of that age. I don't think an older cat would change the situation that much since it is possible that it will want attention because ours always enjoyed hanging out with the family whenever we were home. Pets have emotional needs and if not met, behavioral problems can surface. We have a guinea pig but even then it would require more attention than OP could give in order to stay happy and healthy. Maybe a reptile? Fish?
