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I read this again and Im in complete disbelief at you.. I really am... your damn lucky and dont realize it.. other women would love some peace as I would have done with three kids on my own.. I got babysitting once a week and that was it.. and that was a moan.. behave yourself and thank your lucky stars..
I feel the same as you. while we don't push sleepovers for our 2 year old granddaughter , if our granddaughter gets old enough she wants to have a sleepover Hey, we are happy to do that. It will give my dear son and wife a chance to have a date night, or movie and then a chance to lie in or go out for breakfast. Meantime they will know their child is in the care of two loving grandparents. Talk about a win win situation.
I know that this is an old thread, but if you read the posters that are complaining it is mostly because they are concerned about the safety and well being of their children.
I wouldn't want my children to stay overnight with their alcoholic grandfather, getting drunk in the hot tub (like one woman posted). How carefully is he watching his young grandchildren around the water? And, what if he decides to drive them someplace while drunk? And, the grandparents that are so over indulgent that it takes their grandchildren 48 hours to return to normal after an overnight visit (like another poster)? And, there are grandparents who do not respect the parents boundaries and try to turn every afternoon visit into a sleepover over the parents objections (like another poster)?
I remember a different thread where the grandmother was obsessed with sleepovers and the parents felt that their three or four month, breastfeeding every three hours baby was too young to be away from mom overnight. The grandmother snuck into their house and kidnapped her grandchild in the middle of the night, drove the baby back to her own house (I believe, without a car seat) and immediately fed the baby formula. And, grandma could not understand why her son & DIL was upset. Now, to me that is absolutely crazy!
Now, most people can agree that loving, attentive, caring grandparents can have great experiences with sleepovers with their grandchildren. It can be a win-win situation for everyone but not all grandparents are "loving, attentive and caring".
I know this is an old thread, but for us, it was concern about safety. Not that he would ever do anything intentionally to harm them, but their grandfather was just so forgetful. On several occasions he's driven off from restaurants or the store and forgotten other people who were with him. He just goes "squirrel" at random times and totally forgets what he was in the middle of. Not what you want watching the kids around a pool or in a hot car.
Is it just me or are today's grandparents obsessed with sleepovers? Both sets of grandparents always talk about having the kids overnight. They both live nearby and see the kids plenty. I don't see then need for kids of any age to sleepover. Dropping them off for the day is fine because you can do things with them and have fun. Why the need to have them sleep there? All they do is sleep.
When I was young I never ONCE slept at either grandparents houses and I LOVED spending time with my grandparents and saw them all the time. It gets to the point where every time I ask them to babysit they try to turn it into a sleepover. They always let the kids stay up past their bedtime and spoil them to death. Then when they get home they are tired whinny messes. They act rude and entitled and cranky for 48 hrs afterwards.
It's not worth it to me and I see no benefit. So whats the deal with this? Isn't spending the day with grandkids enough?
Also to add: We are not asking them to babysit late at night. I'm talking any time of day is turned into pushing a sleepover on us.
I am a grandparent and totally agree with you. I dreaded the "sleepover" parties that my daughters would attend and that we hosted when they were adolescents and teens, for a lot of the examples and scenarios you posted above.
I adore my grandchildren and I have an incredibly fun time when I am with them. When the out of town parents and children visit that is also fantastic as the parents are staying as well. (2 daughters in town and 2 are out of state.)
One of my in town sons-in law has started mentioning that his children should start having sleep overs with me. I do not want to start this ritual. I see them weekly and sometimes I'll take them for an entire day or babysit for the entire day or go somewhere for an entire day with the children, but they should be back at home in their own beds for night, not sleep parties. Of course if the adults are going out of town or need something for a special event that would be a different scene. But, to have a 3 and 4 year old or a 5 or 6 etc for that matter, spend the night at grandma's makes no sense to me. Perhaps when they are older I may change my mind, but it seems too much for the kiddos to be away for that long and ultimately not fun, I believe.
My in laws have been asking for sleepovers since DS was about a week old. He was still being breast fed at that age and they didn’t care. They just wanted him even though it wasn’t in his best interest. And because they keep pushing so hard for sleepovers, they will never get them.
It’s not enough that they see DS twice a week for full days while DH and I work. They want more and frankly their eagerness is overwhelming and a huge turn off.
My in laws have been asking for sleepovers since DS was about a week old. He was still being breast fed at that age and they didn’t care. They just wanted him even though it wasn’t in his best interest. And because they keep pushing so hard for sleepovers, they will never get them.
It’s not enough that they see DS twice a week for full days while DH and I work. They want more and frankly their eagerness is overwhelming and a huge turn off.
Wow, I can't even imagine a grandparent that is that pushy that they are asking for sleepovers with a one week old baby! That is absolutely crazy!
Now, after our first child was born via emergency C-section and I was recovering from the major surgery as well as the rigors of being a new mother, my MIL stayed with us for three weeks (as my husband had to go to work). But, MIL cared for me (making meals, cleaning, running errands, bringing the baby to me to breast feed, doing the laundry) and not her grandchild. Except for watching the baby while I napped and occasionally changing a diaper, all of the child care and child bonding was on me, MIL just made it easier for me to recover and get healthy after the C-section.
Among my friends, I can't even think of one parent who had their children have sleepovers with their grandparents until the grandchildren were school age (unless it was a situation where the parents needed to go out of town for work or a wedding or something). Maybe other grandparents have sleepovers with three or four year olds (or younger children) but I can't recall any of my friends doing it with their parents or in laws.
I am a grandmother of 11. I love sleepovers. There is something special about saying prayers with them, snuggling before bed. Watching them sleep, listening to their talking as they fall asleep. Awaking to the laughter and giggles or the grumpiness in the morning. Helping them get dressed for the days activities! Makes the home feel complete!
I'm not obsessed with overnights and would be fine not having granddaughter overnight (she's 4 years old), but SHE is obsessed with spending the night. She looks forward to it and often asks if she can stay. And she is my whole world, so if she wants to spend the night, she can spend the night! She has actually spent the night pretty often since she was a newborn because of her parents' work and school schedules. She has her own bedroom but prefers to sleep with me, so her bedroom is really just her playroom. And she calls it HER room.
I'm not obsessed with overnights and would be fine not having granddaughter overnight (she's 4 years old), but SHE is obsessed with spending the night. She looks forward to it and often asks if she can stay. And she is my whole world, so if she wants to spend the night, she can spend the night! She has actually spent the night pretty often since she was a newborn because of her parents' work and school schedules. She has her own bedroom but prefers to sleep with me, so her bedroom is really just her playroom. And she calls it HER room.
So lovely Luzianne..... my youngest grandson whos seven came in for a visit last night and announced... "Im staying Friday Gran after school"... he doesnt have to ask. my house is his. he can stay when Im available and thats forever.. kids grow up so fast. find their own way in life and we dont see them as much so isnt it wonderful to give them memories they will cherish forever when were long gone..
So after I was born I lived in my grandmothers (mothers side) house till I was 5 when she passed away, and my other grandmother helped feed that space. Now I’m married and have a stepson, who also grew up with his grandparents because my wife and her ex separated when he was 2. I came into the picture when he was going to 5. Since we moved in together, his grandparents have been taking care of him often overnight despite the fact that we don’t have him every other week. And we had agreed that this was something that had to slow down once we had another child because that would mean that we would just spend even less time with him. Now that we have a new born, my stepsons grandad canceled on Christmas because when he asked me if he can take him for one night I said, take both kids not just one, we just want them to be together, and I found that disturbing. Even after I understood his reasoning I didn’t agree with it, and he even them we let him stay at his grandparents house by himself on dec 25 to the 26th. We already have date nights and weekend vacations where we have been leaving my stepson at his grandparents house. And do to that I don’t feel like it’s fair that he acts this way and tries to push us. I think it’s disrespectful. And I feel like if he is this way now, it will only get worse in the future. I understand life is short, but I’m a disabled veteran and who knows how short life will be for me. It’s not my fault that my stepsons time has to be shared between our family and his dad’s, and if anything I feel that those free nights should be spend with his dad too, since he is a good person and I think that hurts him even more. His grandad even goes further to cope with his issues, that he refuses to say goodbye to to my stepson at parties and get togethers, and sneaks out the back WTF I think if someone wants to spend time with someone, they will do it reguardless. On top of that, his grandparenta are very sociable, mostly never spend a weekend at their own house and visit friends, and try hard not to visit us. If this is how they are and are not playing games, I need them to adapt to us, not us adapt to them, we are the parents and if I already let my stepson stay over at their house when we go out, and feel there is no need for this drama that is causing my marriage to go through stress, because I’m the one that is seen as the bad guy. In reality both grandparents on both ends should be spending equal time with their grandson, Since I already acomódate their needs, and since now I feel like they are trying to take advantage, I refuse to change my way of thinking, even though I continue to read and find reasons to change it.
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grandchildren sleepovers
