Would You Keep Giving Money to This Grandson?

[Back to NE]

Sounds like my mom toward her youngest grandson (he's 19 now). He hasn't been diagnosed with autism or asbergers but acts like he's somewhere on the spectrum. She gives him way more than $100 (an ongoing trust), travels to see the family every year and he gives her nothing. He acts like spending an hour or two with grandma is an awful thing to be put thru. At best he'll just sulk and bury himself in his phone.

It's strange, I was a very shy child but always knew to speak up, acknowledge and appreciate my elders, or any adults my parents brought around.

My mother deserves better from this kid (young adult). I know lots of big boys/young men have very poor social skills but why the apparent hostility/passive aggression? She brings nothing but money and cheer to him.

So I'm on the side of those posters NOT shaming the OP.

[purehuman]

Originally Posted by SusanG_O

I am not the type of grandmother who will attempt conversation with a kid who is so rejecting and standoffish. In fact, I get a certain feeling of satisfaction when I'm over there kidding with his sister and ignoring him. Trust me: he doesn't care.

That's very saaaad to read....quit giving him money if it bothers you so much....I doubt the kid will care anyways.
Your relationship with him will probably always be the same because you are "not the type pf grandmother who will attempt a conversation with a kid who etc etc".
The saddest part of your post is when you admit that you get satisfaction out of ignoring him.
Maybe he gets the same for ignoring you.
He's still young, and obviously has some issues to deal with....you sound like you are a teen too.
He's probably veeeery aware that you favor his sister...so saaaad that you've bought into your excuse that "he doesn't care"...very saaaaad!

[nobodysbusiness]

Sounds like you don't like HIM - so there is some projection going on.

The fact you get satisfaction out of ignoring him is very immature and mean-spirited. Nothing good can come from playing that kind of game with him. It must be confusing for him. I would absolutely *hate* you if I was a kid (I had a mean grandma whom I avoided like the plague - I was scared of her). Your grandson might be scared of you.

Sounds like you have resentment going, re: the gift cards.

Since you don't like him, don't celebrate his birthday or give him anything on Christmas. If anyone asks, tell them you don't like him and the feeling is mutual.