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no, sometimes when you get it bad, you want to make it right and make it right. A Lot of us will do better than those who wronged us. Its natures way of bringing balance. For instance, may folks who had uninvolved parents will tend to be overly involved parents. Grandparents, listen up, especially you baby boomers, its time to put away the "ME ME ME" attitude, unless that's what you want to be remembered for when you die. Alot of you out there need to start thinking about how you are going to be remembered. The Baby Boomer generation is getting quite up there.
Geez, what is with you that you want to blame everything on a baby boomer???! Grow up and take responsibility for YOUR own life and dont always blame others.
I am going through the same situation with my mother. A wise person on another thread thinks todays grandparents are redefining the traditional role. I think the days of doting grandparents that beg to watch the grandkids, so they can spoil them, are over. These former baby boomers are all about them and what works for themselves. I've heard from several of them that "they've done their child raising and they dont want to do it anymore." They want "their" time now.
Todays grandparents are redefining the role, but in a much different way than you describe. With the economy as it is and both parents working, the grandparents are needed as sitters. But in reality, at least in my own personal situation I find it such a joy to see my granddaughters grow and blossom. I have taken care of one son's daughter since birth. She is in daycare three days a week, but I have her two. The bond that has been established between us is almost magic. I never had a relationship with my own grandparents..I wish I could have. My own parents were not a part of my sons lives either. Children NEED grandparents in their lives. We are more patient, we have more time and we know things....because we have life experience.
Many of my "baby boomer" friends are in the same situation as me. We love taking care of the little ones. Sure there are some that say "I raised mine already", but once you see that precious little part of you, you just can't help yourself.
We had the vacations, seen lots of the world and had many fun experiences with our boys. "My Time" is right now with the kids.
no, sometimes when you get it bad, you want to make it right and make it right. A Lot of us will do better than those who wronged us. Its natures way of bringing balance. For instance, may folks who had uninvolved parents will tend to be overly involved parents. Grandparents, listen up, especially you baby boomers, its time to put away the "ME ME ME" attitude, unless that's what you want to be remembered for when you die. Alot of you out there need to start thinking about how you are going to be remembered. The Baby Boomer generation is getting quite up there.
are you feeling guilty about something, I mean if your so involved with your grandchildren, you wouldnt have click on this post. I mean what would you get out of a post like this. Of course we are assigning blame, the post is called "Grandparents not involved enough", not "I should take responsibility for my parents not giving a damn about my kids" that would be a good post for someone else to start. Here we are discussing the confusion we feel about those grandparents that feel they don't want to be a part of thier grandchildrens lives.
are you feeling guilty about something, I mean if your so involved with your grandchildren, you wouldnt have click on this post. I mean what would you get out of a post like this. Of course we are assigning blame, the post is called "Grandparents not involved enough", not "I should take responsibility for my parents not giving a damn about my kids" that would be a good post for someone else to start. Here we are discussing the confusion we feel about those grandparents that feel they don't want to be a part of thier grandchildrens lives.
No FK, no guilt here. City-Data is a nice place to visit and read posts of many different perspectives.
I spend many lovely moments with my grandkids and family. But I do have some concern about your thoughts and feelings. You seem to be really internally congested. It doesn't really sound as though you had involved or loving parents or other meaninful relationships in your life. Perhaps the reason for your disconnect.
I hope you are blessed with wisdom and wish you well.
Here we are discussing the confusion we feel about those grandparents that feel they don't want to be a part of thier grandchildrens lives.
I think a better summary of this thread is the disconnect between preconceived notions on grandparenting. Also, grandparents saying they want to be involved and complaining their children are hindering said involvement, but then not following through once the children make involvment possible.
Many posters have written about how exhausting grandchildren turn out to be. If you are finding you are in this situation, I think it would help the parents out if you just came out and said, "I love spending time with my grandchildren, but I didn't realize how exhausting it can be now that I am older." This would help the parents--your children--understand a change in actions compared to the rhetoric they have heard for so long.
no, sometimes when you get it bad, you want to make it right and make it right. A Lot of us will do better than those who wronged us. Its natures way of bringing balance. For instance, may folks who had uninvolved parents will tend to be overly involved parents. Grandparents, listen up, especially you baby boomers, its time to put away the "ME ME ME" attitude, unless that's what you want to be remembered for when you die. Alot of you out there need to start thinking about how you are going to be remembered. The Baby Boomer generation is getting quite up there.
Excuse me? The Baby Boomer generation is "me me me?" You are saying this to the people who made sure you got a college education, sacrificed so you could take those piano lessons, get that first car, buy that perfect prom dress, etc? That money could have been going in our retirement accounts, wh/ btw, have been cut in half or less. And you have the nerve to say this generation is "me me me?"
I want to see even 15% of Gen X'ers sacrifice to send their kids to private schools, colleges, buy their kids a car, give them all the special "lessons" (tennis, golf, art, music, WHATEVER) that Baby Boomers did for their kids.
The problem I see w/ Boomers is that we basically raised the most selfish generation that has ever populated the earth. And now you all think if we are not still slitting our wrists to make your VISION of what you think your life should be come true . . . we have somehow FAILED YOU.
How many of you have done a damn thing FOR YOUR PARENTS? How many of you have even a CLUE about their financial situation going into retirement?
I know this post will fly in the face of many of you who have posted here, b/c you all may be that 15% who are striving to be responsible parents and adult children to your parents. But making a blanket statement and calling Boomers the "me me me" generation is absolutely past insulting to those of us (and this includes all my friends) who basically bent over backwards to see our kids get the best start in life that we could give them - and have gotten very little back - INCLUDING RESPECT. In fact, some RESPECT would be enuff to receive - but where is it?
I am blessed w/ a wonderful son who is NOT part of the Gen X group. But my stepkids are and dear lord . . . w/ the exception of one fine son who is not only a wonderful dad and husband but also a wonderful son . . . the rest are the most selfish, self-centered, self-involved, narcissistic bunch of whiners I have ever met . . . and most of my friends' adult children are in the same lot.
You know what Boomers discuss these days? How they wish they HAD NOT sacrificed to give their kids that expensive private college education . . . and required more of their kids so they would APPRECIATE it . . . had NOT given them that big wedding . . . so they would have APPRECIATED making some sacrifices on their own . . . wish they had not bought that first new car, b/c now their kids think they are entitled to the best of everything the day they walk out of college w/ that diploma - and that mom and dad are supposed to ante up not only w/ the $$$ but w/ their last ounce of strength to make sure they are grandparents that rival the Disney vacations their parents sacrificed to take them on every year.
Get a grip. It is a two way street. One of my friend's husbands refers to himself as The Bank. They have come to the rude awakening that their kids will come visit as long as they write out the checks to buy the plane tickets and when the kids arrive, have an itinerary replete w/ everything from baseball tickets to dinners out . . . and unless they are willing to ante up for the expensive presents at every occasion and a mini-vacation for their adult children - their kids are not gonna make the effort (or the sacrifice!!!) to bother to come see them.
So stop it w/ the Baby Boomers being the "me me me" generation. We worked our arses off so our kids would have the "best of everything" and it appears all that did was create a generation of adult children who think they are entitled to dictate how their parents are "supposed to act" to be the Perfect Grandparents to their kids.
Your parents are not some characters at Disney World, put on this earth to make sure you and your kids live in Fantasy Land, like some TV ad w/ bubbles and bluebirds and silver haired grandparents playing croquet on the perfectly manicured back lawn.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, anifani! I can't and won't condone the Boomer generation as universally selfish, and neither should you hurl the same generalization at Gen X.
I am at the top end of X-ers, having been born in the mid-60's, and when I look around at my peers, I see people who work 60 or more hours a week for companies that don't give a darn about loyalty to provide all those same opportunities that you provided for us. In addition, many of us also provide financial support for our parents, sometimes in the form of free airline tickets and hotel stays (so they can come see their grandchildren), sometimes in out-right monetary gifts. We shuttle our parents & grandparents to healthcare appointments and lunches with friends' and share weekly meals with them, betwixt and between driving our kids back and forth to music lessons, swimming, Scouts, and soccer. I even have friends who've added onto their houses, so elderly grandparents would have safe, comfortable places to live rather than being hauled off to the nursing home.
I understand your frustration with the tone of this thread, but you're absolutely wrong to make such sweeping statements about our generation.
excuse me? The baby boomer generation is "me me me?" you are saying this to the people who made sure you got a college education, sacrificed so you could take those piano lessons, get that first car, buy that perfect prom dress, etc? That money could have been going in our retirement accounts, wh/ btw, have been cut in half or less. And you have the nerve to say this generation is "me me me?"
i want to see even 15% of gen x'ers sacrifice to send their kids to private schools, colleges, buy their kids a car, give them all the special "lessons" (tennis, golf, art, music, whatever) that baby boomers did for their kids.
The problem i see w/ boomers is that we basically raised the most selfish generation that has ever populated the earth. And now you all think if we are not still slitting our wrists to make your vision of what you think your life should be come true . . . We have somehow failed you.
How many of you have done a damn thing for your parents? How many of you have even a clue about their financial situation going into retirement?
I know this post will fly in the face of many of you who have posted here, b/c you all may be that 15% who are striving to be responsible parents and adult children to your parents. But making a blanket statement and calling boomers the "me me me" generation is absolutely past insulting to those of us (and this includes all my friends) who basically bent over backwards to see our kids get the best start in life that we could give them - and have gotten very little back - including respect. In fact, some respect would be enuff to receive - but where is it?
I am blessed w/ a wonderful son who is not part of the gen x group. But my stepkids are and dear lord . . . W/ the exception of one fine son who is not only a wonderful dad and husband but also a wonderful son . . . The rest are the most selfish, self-centered, self-involved, narcissistic bunch of whiners i have ever met . . . And most of my friends' adult children are in the same lot.
You know what boomers discuss these days? How they wish they had not sacrificed to give their kids that expensive private college education . . . And required more of their kids so they would appreciate it . . . Had not given them that big wedding . . . So they would have appreciated making some sacrifices on their own . . . Wish they had not bought that first new car, b/c now their kids think they are entitled to the best of everything the day they walk out of college w/ that diploma - and that mom and dad are supposed to ante up not only w/ the $$$ but w/ their last ounce of strength to make sure they are grandparents that rival the disney vacations their parents sacrificed to take them on every year.
Get a grip. It is a two way street. One of my friend's husbands refers to himself as the bank. They have come to the rude awakening that their kids will come visit as long as they write out the checks to buy the plane tickets and when the kids arrive, have an itinerary replete w/ everything from baseball tickets to dinners out . . . And unless they are willing to ante up for the expensive presents at every occasion and a mini-vacation for their adult children - their kids are not gonna make the effort (or the sacrifice!!!) to bother to come see them.
So stop it w/ the baby boomers being the "me me me" generation. We worked our arses off so our kids would have the "best of everything" and it appears all that did was create a generation of adult children who think they are entitled to dictate how their parents are "supposed to act" to be the perfect grandparents to their kids.
Your parents are not some characters at disney world, put on this earth to make sure you and your kids live in fantasy land, like some tv ad w/ bubbles and bluebirds and silver haired grandparents playing croquet on the perfectly manicured back lawn.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, anifani! I can't and won't condone the Boomer generation as universally selfish, and neither should you hurl the same generalization at Gen X.
I am at the top end of X-ers, having been born in the mid-60's, and when I look around at my peers, I see people who work 60 or more hours a week for companies that don't give a darn about loyalty to provide all those same opportunities that you provided for us. In addition, many of us also provide financial support for our parents, sometimes in the form of free airline tickets and hotel stays (so they can come see their grandchildren), sometimes in out-right monetary gifts. We shuttle our parents & grandparents to healthcare appointments and lunches with friends' and share weekly meals with them, betwixt and between driving our kids back and forth to music lessons, swimming, Scouts, and soccer. I even have friends who've added onto their houses, so elderly grandparents would have safe, comfortable places to live rather than being hauled off to the nursing home.
I understand your frustration with the tone of this thread, but you're absolutely wrong about our generation.
FormerCalifornian...I agree that you sound nothing like FK in blaming baby boomers..and its easy to finally have it up to here with those blanket statements that were made. I think you sound more like my son who does what he can for me and understands that I made a lot of sacrifices for him (ones that I wanted to make, and ones my parents made for me).
But I will go back to what Ive said all along, rudeness,selfishness,whining, etc, comes along every generation. Babyboomers, nor GenX have a market on any of these qualities.
My son writes a note,or picks up a telephone to call anyone that has done anything for him, or given him anything...now my husbands daughter, and I might add, her two daughters, NEVER have told us verbablly thank you, ever sent a thank you note, nor picked up a telephone to call us and thank us for anything we have ever done or given them. The only time she/they call is when they WANT something.(And boy have I heard that line before) So, here are two sets of Gen Xers that ACT totally different. Guess who I want to go out of my way for more than the other. And, trust me, I wanted a daughter more than anything, and bent over backwards to help my husbands daughter with no thanks asked in return, but you DO notice that thanks and appreciate it when given. She has broken my heart many times because Ive watched my husband thru the years search the mailbox for a card on his birthday or fathers day from her and her kids, only to find nothing. You could see the disappointment on his face.
Maybe this thread should be dropped now, since we have all agreed, you cant make people do what they dont want to do. We can only be responsible for our own actions...
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City-Data is a nice place to visit and read posts of many different perspectives. 
