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The question of this debate is, should we even bother? Is this something that we must accept as the evolution of our society, or is it something that can be worth the effort to reverse?
You can accept it or change it. I'm only 19 but I remember my childhood vividly. And it didn't involve any current techno-gadgets except the tv. And it was great. I think I was most happiest and stress-free at that time in my life. So one week I decided to not use the internet at all and focus more on the beauty of life and God and my goodness - what a wonderful world. You'd be surprised at how nostalgic things feel if you simply stop using or get rid of current technology. Modern times can feel like the good ol' days if we simply put down the ipods and shut off the computer for a good week or two.
Narcissism Is the cause of this. When people only care about themselves then there is an automatic disconnect with others. The only need you have for others is to use them, not to connect with them.
It's been observed that compared to generations before us, we live in a very disconnected culture.
Even Time Magazine, a few years back, stated that Americans (and individuals of other Western nations) are experiencing much more problems associated with loneliness compared to what their parents and especially grandparents used to be.
In other words, today's "social capital" is at an all-time low, and is continuing to decline. Our realities are becoming more and more isolated, and it is hard to say that things will eventually mend by themselves.
The question of this debate is, should we even bother? Is this something that we must accept as the evolution of our society, or is it something that can be worth the effort to reverse?
I think the U.S has been this way for a while - suburbia - we just don't interact with humans as much because we don't really have the opportunity (we don't walk to any store, church, or school - we drive; we don't share a backyard or park - we have our own fenced off one).
Ironically, how many people you know has little to do with whether or not you're lonely. You can know a lot of people, but if you have no connection with them, you can still be lonely. On the other hand, if you are in tune with a just a few people -- or more importantly, yourself -- you won't feel lonely.
In our culture, there is an emphasis on having a lot of friends. Long ago, when most people lived on farms or worked in sweatshops where communication was forbidden or difficult, people cherished the few friends they had.
To be honest, I find that people who "have a lot of friends" are often quite shallow.
You don't even have to interact directly with individuals in your own home. Technology, and the mobility of technology, has a lot to do with how disconnected we are.
The selling point is: "It's a great time to be a family." Yeah, whatever they say. Not a word spoken between them.
You can also see this dynamic when going out to eat. While formerly a more intimate type of setting, you will often see people on their cell phones, not even communicating to the person(s) across the table.
People who think things are getting gloomy should seriously take a step outside once in a while.
Take a look at Seattle. Even though it is really gloomy weather for ... like 8 months of the year ... people still have fun, go out, and enjoy the BEAUTIFUL surroundings we are blessed with here. And we're high tech. Yet we manage.
It really is a model going forward. Social networking taken to the retro.
I think the atomization of our culture started with the destruction of the "pub" culture in 1919. When these neighborhood pubs ceased to be the cultural center of a neighborhood families spent more time at home listening to the radio and then television. One effect is the vast decrease in industrial union activity as the workers no longer had a place to share their complaints and to become organized. Their children also lost a place to meet and become interested in each other.
Our current society seems to consist of a group of boxes. First is the box you live in. Even if you are married there are very few other people in the box. People now avoid even the "entertaining” of the suburban 1950's has dwindled to a couple of pre game barbeques with immediate neighbors. You rarely get out of the box called home. Then there are the boxes we call cars. Most of us do not take a bus or train to work and even if we do we rarely communicate with anyone else. The car almost completely isolates us in a cocoon of music and comfort. We do not talk to other drivers except to curse and wonder at their relative stupidity. The third box is the cubical at work that isolates us from even having eye contact with another person.
So how do we attempt to lessen our loneness? Many try bars but to others bars are spoiled by the alcoholics that generally infest them. Others would try town activates if they had the time and energy to get out of the chair. Too many do not. I, for a twisted example, still rely on friends I made during college where we worked and played together. That was forty years ago. That does not happen anymore.
I have noticed a recent spate of commercials for “dating sites” on the tube. I suppose this could be a way to be introduces to potential friends and possible sexual partners but I, for one, have no concept of the protocols involved. What is a date anyway?
I think the atomization of our culture started with the destruction of the "pub" culture in 1919. When these neighborhood pubs ceased to be the cultural center of a neighborhood families spent more time at home listening to the radio and then television. One effect is the vast decrease in industrial union activity as the workers no longer had a place to share their complaints and to become organized. Their children also lost a place to meet and become interested in each other.
Our current society seems to consist of a group of boxes. First is the box you live in. Even if you are married there are very few other people in the box. People now avoid even the "entertaining” of the suburban 1950's has dwindled to a couple of pre game barbeques with immediate neighbors. You rarely get out of the box called home. Then there are the boxes we call cars. Most of us do not take a bus or train to work and even if we do we rarely communicate with anyone else. The car almost completely isolates us in a cocoon of music and comfort. We do not talk to other drivers except to curse and wonder at their relative stupidity. The third box is the cubical at work that isolates us from even having eye contact with another person.
So how do we attempt to lessen our loneness? Many try bars but to others bars are spoiled by the alcoholics that generally infest them. Others would try town activates if they had the time and energy to get out of the chair. Too many do not. I, for a twisted example, still rely on friends I made during college where we worked and played together. That was forty years ago. That does not happen anymore.
I have noticed a recent spate of commercials for “dating sites” on the tube. I suppose this could be a way to be introduces to potential friends and possible sexual partners but I, for one, have no concept of the protocols involved. What is a date anyway?
The thing I don't like about 'dating' sites...
Is they think the answer to your woes is to simply pair you, a single person, with another single person...not...
In order to truly be happy you need a whole foundation or pool of friends you can call upon....
As such I wish these sites would focus more on group activities...(no, not orgies...don't even go there, that's not what i meant) ...
What I mean is like 'camping groups', 'sports groups', 'art groups'...'yoga groups'....'musical interest groups'...'lets form a band' groups 'rafting groups' and so on...
It's usually in those types of enviornments, where there's mixed genders, and where the immediate aim isn't nessicarily to get a date, but rather to establish a social base of friends, that you usually can meet someone....
This idea that the only way to find wholeness is by thrusting a man and woman together, and that somehow all will be good after that, is absurd...
Ones over all social setting, is what eventually sets the tone for finding someone special...
I met my wife in a social group and many of my friends in a college hiking club. All over 40 yers ago. I would be absolutely lost if I had to find another partner.
In a lot of ways we do it to ourselves. Every time I enter a coffee shop all I see is patrons with their heads buried in a laptop or ipods plugged into their ears. Everyone is in love with their gadgets. Video games, internet, mp3 players, etc. Folks are isolating themselves more and more each year. They depend more on internet for dating and social networking and spend less time out actually talking to oe another in real life. Texting, tweeting, and shopping online from home. Not the fault of the gadgets.
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