Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm 60 years old. Somewhere I wrote about my observations concerning today's youth. Anyway, I regularly go to a fitness center. The vast majority of people there are young. Like under 30. Even the employees are young. I constantly try to make friendly comments. Sometimes I break through. More often I don't. I'll pass a kid (a 25 year-old kid) on the sidewalk in front of the center. I'm all ready to say a friendly hello. Usually the person will turn his eyes away. Unfocused eyes turned down and to the right seems to be the popular direction. I generally find the same basic behavior from young adults at other places.
I have a number of theories concerning my observations.
Theory #1, I am an old dude and therefore I have become an "outsider" to younger persons. Another words, it's basically a generational thing.
Theory #2, Technology, and the way we now communicate, has made younger persons less skilled, and less willing, to have casual verbal exchanges.
Theory #3, Today's younger people are simply less willing to engage in spontaneous conversation. It's just not in fashion. It simply isn't cool.
Theory #4, Younger people never have been as personable as I think they were. In essence, I am misremembering bygone days.
I'm so enjoying this thread--thanks for posting it. Many of the answers are so wise.
I moved from a large city deep into technology (San Francisco) to a small sea coast village 3000 miles away, in part, to make more face-to-face connections. And to find more quiet. It's worked for me and I've developed 3-4 small groups of people I view as kindred spirits. We walk, bike, eat, play Scrabble, have pot-lucks, do yoga, watch films and do other activities together
In SF, it seemed technology and the challenge of the freeways and searches for parking often kept face-to-face connections at a minimum.
Though I work on-line as a writer, frequent forums such as C-D, and check-in with Facebook daily, I spend much off-line time in real time, real life interactions. My life feels much more balanced now, and I'm more content.
Nothing replaces the music of a real laugh..."lol" just does not do the trick for me.
This is an interesting thread, and I wonder where I fit into it. I've always been very much a loner, all my life. I always had friends in school, and people generally seemed to like me well enough, but I was always shy and reserved, and I was never the one to initiate contact with anyone. Over the years I've opened up considerably, and I can talk to most people pretty easily, at least in a casual way. But I'm also still pretty content when I'm alone. Very rarely when I'm alone do I wish for someone else to spend time with, though it does happen occasionally. And perhaps not surprisingly, I communicate with my friends a lot online and via text message. In fact, my best friend is a girl I met on another forum, who lives on the other side of the country, and our only communication is via text message. We've never even heard one another's voices, and I've known her for over seven years now. It sounds incredibly bizarre when I type it out and read it back to myself, but when we're "talking" I think nothing of it in the slightest. Reading this thread it all seems weird and crazy, but when I'm actually doing it it seems perfectly natural. I guess I've been swallowed up in the modern world in that way, however in person I'm perfectly willing and able to engage strangers in casual conversation. But that simply doesn't happen very often, and I'm rarely the one to initiate it.
I'm going to be the contrarian in this thread and say that I believe people in modern society do not necessarily have to be lonely and disconnected. Sure, if you sit behind your computer screen or stare at your smart phone all day and don't get out much it can feel that way. It becomes self-fulfilling at that point.
However, do you think maybe it's because of a lack of imagination that people get lonely? After all, there are more people in the world today than at any time in history. Have you ever thought about traveling to a country that interests you but you have never been to before? How about learning a new language, or a musical instrument, writing poetry, biking across the country or getting a pet? Have you thought about finding a mate, settling down and having children?
Doing so many things can break the feeling of loneliness and forge meaningful relationships among people. But that's the key - it takes active effort on one's part. You have to get out there and make it happen.
Last edited by BigCityDreamer; 01-04-2012 at 03:41 PM..
This is a great thread and I really enjoyed reading all of the responses. As with all things, I think the key is moderation. Cell phones and technology are fantastic, but they can be over used. My friend is so addicted to her cell phone and Twitter, she often will check her phone in the middle of a conversation with me. She will pause in the middle of an activity to post what we're doing on Twitter.
I think people are forgetting how to communicate verbally. Sometimes I answer calls at work and customers can barely articulate to me what they want their communication is so poor. Nothing can replace talking to another person face to person.
It's funny, because I am most definitely an introvert, but I appreciate it when people genuinely reach out or try to strike up a conversation. It just seldom happens.
A few months ago, I stopped off in a town in GA on my way from Miami to Philadelphia. Before I left in the morning, I stopped off at a local Starbucks. I walked in and a noticed a guy sat in the corner, reading a paper. I didn't think about even saying "hello", but he struck up a conversation me, having noticed my U-Haul parked outside. We chatted for about half an hour, but I had to hit the road, so I couldn't stick around.
He was a nice, genuine and educated guy who wasn't out to use me, sell me something or use me to vent his political or religious beliefs. That actually made my day for some strange reason. I guess what they say about southern hospitality is true, but I am so used to dealing with the complete opposite.
Why can't more people act that way? Was there a time when such politeness and when talking to a random stranger was the norm? When and where did society go wrong? Why do so many people choose to act like *******s? We've made many advances when it comes to civil rights, but we have taken more steps backward than forward, IMO. We are a society that (in general) puts mom in a home, rather than take care of her ourselves. Divorce rates are way too high; people have become throwaway items to many who would rather take the easy route than try to fix a bad marriage, for example. The corporate world is cutthroat and ruthless. People would rather throw you under the bus for their own selfish interests, rather than take one for the team. In most cities, people drive like reckless *******s with no regard for anyone else on the road. Why is this? What "good" is gained from doing do much "bad"? Society is obsessed with mindless garbage on television, mindless music and mindless careers, in which too many people are trying to compete for the same ever-shrinking piece of pie.
Sometimes I feel like I simply do not have a place in society, 2011.
Last edited by Glasvegas; 01-04-2012 at 06:16 PM..
How many times do you try and respond to a Personals/dating ad and, invariably, they'll say: Upload a photo, or, photo's, or I won't respond back!
Think about it, before the internet, if your current spouse had uploaded a photo of him or her, would you have just moved on to the next ad, rejected that person because of some minor flaw? A dynamic personality can make any frog appear to be a knight in shining armor!
If my past 4 partners, over the years, had uploaded their photo's, they wouldn't have gotten even to 1st base with me! Just based on looks!
A photo is worth a thousand words? Oh please!
My last 4 partners may not have been very attractive, but they were dynamo's in the bedroom. Does that show in a photo?
It truly saddens me to see the photo's on some of these dating sites, knowing from looks only, these people don't stand a chance!
How many times do you try and respond to a Personals/dating ad and, invariably, they'll say: Upload a photo, or, photo's, or I won't respond back!
Think about it, before the internet, if your current spouse had uploaded a photo of him or her, would you have just moved on to the next ad, rejected that person because of some minor flaw? A dynamic personality can make any frog appear to be a knight in shining armor!
If my past 4 partners, over the years, had uploaded their photo's, they wouldn't have gotten even to 1st base with me! Just based on looks!
A photo is worth a thousand words? Oh please!
My last 4 partners may not have been very attractive, but they were dynamo's in the bedroom. Does that show in a photo?
It truly saddens me to see the photo's on some of these dating sites, knowing from looks only, these people don't stand a chance!
What an interesting observation--one I've never thought about. Have we been persuaded that visual perfection or standardized attractiveness is how to select good matches for friends and mates? Maybe so. Or else there wouldn't be tooth whitening, breast enhancements, and all sorts of "plastic" procedures.
Are we turning into mass-produced-Barbie and Ken dolls? Guess that's why they call them "plastic surgeons."
Even though technology is partly to blame, I believe the mostly negative view of the world that is portrayed in the news is to blame as well. We begin to see everyone that we don't know personally as a potential criminal that's possibly out to "get" you due to all the negativity in the news. It breeds suspicion, which spreads everywhere. For instance, we no longer have neighborhoods; we just have a bunch of houses that happen to be in close proximity. Instead of interacting with our neighbors, we stay in our homes, look between our blinds and wonder what "evil" our neighbors are perpetrating. We no longer are willing to talk to anyone to find out how they really are; we try to figure them out by observing them from afar. It's a shame because we're most likely missing out on forming relationships with some great people.
I personally live on a street with nine other houses. I've been there going on 14 years. Of those nine houses, seven of them have been the same neighbors for the entire time. Of those seven, we only interact with one of the families. As for the other six, I wouldn't know them if I passed them on the street.
I have deleted my Facebook, had some temptation to go back but passed. Now my android is next, back to simple flip phone. I'm also reading REAL books with paper pages again. I'm not running from technology, but simplifying my life. Just losing Facebook has been such a breath of fresh air. Think ill feed the ducks at the park tomorrow, that would have been my Facebook time. City Data may be next
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Not Just Technology...
