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Companionship and conversation. Just being together.
I'm working on cleaning out the garage and came across my wife's baseball card collection. She was an avid St. Louis Cardinal fan and would score the game on a scorecard when we went to games. She could later recite the whole game from the scorecard. She collected baseball cards for several years and now I have several thousand cards. My daughter started going through them and we have well over $1600 in high valued cards and we are not halfway through the collection. She had priced the cards herself around 2001 or so and had them sorted. During our life together we each had our separate hobbies, but we were both happy knowing that the other was happily occupied doing their own thing. I'd be tying fishing flies and she would be working close by with the baseball cards. Probably have some music going. Probably a cup of coffee or tea close by. Sporadic conversation as we went along.
I found a bunch of other stuff that I knew was there but had left untouched for fifteen years. Her jewelry and such things. I'll be going through that in the days ahead. I counted 23 photo albums -- we were the ones who took care of that stuff from our families, so it accumulated at our house. I have an 80-year-old wedding dress from my mother-in-law, who died in the 1950s long before we were married. She kept it but never got around to doing anything with it.
After our first date, I woke up the next morning and thought "Wow, why does my face and my diaphragm hurt so much?" Then I realized that for hours and hours the night before, I had laughed and smiled so much that I actually hurt myself.
That man always made me laugh and smile. What a legacy! When he unexpectedly died, my inbox was full of notes of condolence from coworkers who told me over and over again how great he was to work for and with, and how cheerful he always was, and how much he loved being married to me. Even in death, he made me smile.
I get that! I think about the stuff that Jeff used to say and do, and it makes me giggle.
A retired friend from work was great for staying in touch through emails. He'd also send funny jokes and pictures. One of our last email exchanges was in the month of February. I sent him a cute video of Snoopy trying to make a Valentine.
He replied that he wish he was handy with scissors the way Snoopy was. Then he ended with, "love ya." He died suddenly of a heart attack a week later.
What a lovely thing to write about your parents! It makes me realize that the little things we do for the ones we love might actually be extremely meaningful to them both now and always ~ thank you.
I miss my Mom. She used to call early every morning for no reason except to hear my voice. She was interested in everything related to nature. She would talk about everything from the Cosmos to the plight of the American bee. I cannot say that back then I fully appreciated hearing about the disappearing toads while trying to get ready for work, but now I wish the phone would ring, ironically, just to hear her voice.
What a lovely thing to write about your parents! It makes me realize that the little things we do for the ones we love might actually be extremely meaningful to them both now and always ~ thank you.
I miss my Mom. She used to call early every morning for no reason except to hear my voice. She was interested in everything related to nature. She would talk about everything from the Cosmos to the plight of the American bee. I cannot say that back then I fully appreciated hearing about the disappearing toads while trying to get ready for work, but now I wish the phone would ring, ironically, just to hear her voice.
Miss you Mom.
My Mom told me we can't have a certain time to call or certain day, she had that with her Mom and it was one of the things she missed the most. So we didn't. I moved here 7 years before she died and we didn't have a certain time to call or visit. But I had those 7 years when we were in the same state and city, and I learned so much during that time. Things that are precious to me. That was 1999 to 2007. Now I live next door to my Dad who is 93 and I see him everyday. Same thing, learning so much and so much humor, it's going to be very hard when he goes.
For 4 years I visited with my dad, first in assisted living, then a nursing home, 3-4 times a day. Only visit I'd get in trouble for was not being there when Wheel of Fortune was on. Almost took an act of Congress to get out of that visit. lol But, for a week or so after he died, I caught myself getting ready to drive to the nursing home at the same times I went every day to visit with him.
One thing he said that I'll never forget. When I went over, usually we just sat there and watched TV, with very little talking. One day I apologized to him for not saying much when I stopped by. He told me that my sitting there with him every day said more than I could say in a year. Made me feel good.
But I still laugh thinking of his comments on what he was watching on TV. About the third time watching the movie Erin Bronkavitch, when the attorney she was working for was talking to her, my dad looked at me and said "You know he's wanting some of that!" and grinned. I almost fell in the floor laughing, hearing that from him. lol
My father passed away last January, after a long battle with Alzheimer’s (ultimately a heart attack took him). I miss a lot of little things, of course; but one that comes to mind was his funny quirk when we took photos of/with him. He’d always go “eeee” to crack a smile, which eventually became a running joke among us. The first time we took a family photo after his passing, we all went “eeee” in his honor without even planning it.
Also, just getting phone calls and flowers on my birthday. That stopped some years before he died, since the Alzheimer’s took his memory of who I even was by the end. I saved the last birthday voicemail on my phone, but it was wiped out when I got a new phone.
Gizmo, my condolences. Your mention of birthdays reminded me of the year before he died, dad (along with everyone else where he lived) was in solitary confinement in assisted living, for his own protection, due to the Covid lockdowns. To keep him company, I’d call his echo in the mid morning and then just keep the line open all day, carrying my cell phone with me. Not as though I had anything interesting going on that first year of Covid, with everything shut down. Anyway, for a week, I kept hearing Dad moving about his apartment in his wheelchair in an unusual flurry of activity, constantly opening and shutting drawers and rustling papers. Clearly, he was searching hard for something, but when I asked him if anyone there could help him find something, he deny that he needed anything. Then more drawers opening and shutting. I was baffled, in that last year, usually he only moved around to change the tv channel or get his kindle. So a week later my birthday came. And it turned out that he had been looking for my mothers old stash (she died a year before) of all occasion cards, to send me a birthday card. He finally found one, and I got it in the mail. It’s addressed in very shaky handwriting, to a wonderful daughter. I carry it everywhere in my purse, it’s such a wistful memory of both of them. Our parents are so unutterably dear to us! I’m grateful for these memories people are sharing.
I miss waking up in the mornings and feeling happiness instantly.
I was happy because I was in love and all I cared about was taking care of that person.
I love the challenge of putting on my coming up with something new to eat every single breakfast every single day every single lunch was different, and it just made me happy.
We both sacrificed all of our wants and needs for the benefit of each other.
I honestly cannot believe it's been 3 years, and it feels like it was 3 minutes ago that we were housing breakfast.
Gizmo, my condolences. Your mention of birthdays reminded me of the year before he died, dad (along with everyone else where he lived) was in solitary confinement in assisted living, for his own protection, due to the Covid lockdowns. To keep him company, I’d call his echo in the mid morning and then just keep the line open all day, carrying my cell phone with me. Not as though I had anything interesting going on that first year of Covid, with everything shut down. Anyway, for a week, I kept hearing Dad moving about his apartment in his wheelchair in an unusual flurry of activity, constantly opening and shutting drawers and rustling papers. Clearly, he was searching hard for something, but when I asked him if anyone there could help him find something, he deny that he needed anything. Then more drawers opening and shutting. I was baffled, in that last year, usually he only moved around to change the tv channel or get his kindle. So a week later my birthday came. And it turned out that he had been looking for my mothers old stash (she died a year before) of all occasion cards, to send me a birthday card. He finally found one, and I got it in the mail. It’s addressed in very shaky handwriting, to a wonderful daughter. I carry it everywhere in my purse, it’s such a wistful memory of both of them. Our parents are so unutterably dear to us! I’m grateful for these memories people are sharing.
This is beautiful !
Your Dad knew he was loved and loved you, that's what matters. The love that a parent and child have is powerful and eternal.
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