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I did a lot of traveling for my job, and now that I’m retired, travel occasionally to visit family and friends. My parents were always interested in my trips, and we fell into a pleasant habit of me calling when I got to my hotel room and was settled in. In those early years it was a quick and expensive call from the hotel phone; after cell phones, it became a more leisurely call. This was never a required thing, but they were always happy to hear about the trip, and we all enjoyed touching base. After mom died in her nineties, Dad became even more pleased to hear from me when I’d go anywhere and see any of the relatives. My first visit to my brother after Dad died I just kept thinking about the phone call that will be no more. And checked in to the hotel, and for the first time in my life, had nobody waiting to hear that I’m safe and sound in my room. The little things that make you feel suddenly unconnected. If anybody would care to share their “little” griefs, please do!
I miss calling my mother to tell her what's going on in my life, big or small. She died at 91 two years ago, body giving out but mind sharp as ever.
I miss playing board games with both of them. The three of us played Scrabble the night before Dad died of a heart attack in 1999, and my last game with Mom was the week before she died.
I miss my mother telling me about a book she read and giving it to me when she thought I would enjoy it, too.
I miss having a cup of tea with her.
I miss picking out cards for Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Oh how I miss the phone calls too - to and from my parents and to and from my sweet husband. He always, always made me laugh, and my dad was always just super sweet and conversational and my mom was always on the phone being a "stealth bomber" as my brother and I called her! Good times. I miss those people.
You know what else I miss? I miss going out on the boat with my husband. It was always so much trouble. And it was also often hot and super sunshiny and I never really was able to relax and just enjoy it, but I sure do miss it now.
I also miss lazy mornings where we'd both be sitting around in our jammies drinking coffee, and planning our day eventually. And most of all, I miss our road trips - which happened regularly. I miss exploring with that man. He was great company, and he was also good looking and very gallant, and I sure do miss all that.
I miss a dear friend who passed quite some years ago now from cancer. We met after I relocated to a large city where I knew no one at the time. I began working for the same company as she, and we quickly became friends. Because of her friendship, I never felt totally alone.
She was the one person on whom I could depend to send me a birthday card each year. She never ever forgot my birthday even though I often forgot my own birthday! (LOL) One year, a couple of weeks after my birthday had come and gone, I suddenly realised that I had missed my own birthday again, and then I realised that it had taken me so long to realise I missed my birthday because I did not receive my birthday card that year. We were living in two different cities by then, and we had not spoken in months, but I seized the opportunity to bell her and razz her for missing my birthday. She had moved back in with her elderly parents a few years earlier.
Her mum picked up the phone, and after a brief "how are you doing?" between us, I asked to speak to my friend. I laughed and told her mum, I am belling her to razz her for forgetting my birthday this year. She has never forgotten in all these many years, and I wanted to tease her that she must be going a bit dotty in her dotage. Her mum replied, "I am sorry, dear, but she died a few months ago." I cannot even begin to describe the shock I felt upon hearing those words. If I had not been sitting down, I know my knees would have buckled beneath me. I immediately began sobbing. It felt like a dagger through my heart. I croaked "what happened???"
Her mum told me that my friend had developed a lump in the fleshy part of her upper arm. She went to see doctor about it, and it turned out to be cancer. She died literally only four weeks later. I sobbed even harder and asked why did not she contact me and tell me what was happening?? Her mum said she did not want to tell anyone or see anyone, not even family. That was quite a few years ago now, but I still grieve for her, and I admit that I feel cheated that I did not get to see her one last time or even know what was happening or was able to at least speak to her and later attend her funeral. She gave no explanation as to why she did not want to tell or see anyone, and I am still at a loss to explain why.
I think of her often. I miss her. I love her. She was one of the closest friends I ever had in my life. Now, I generally still forget my own birthday each year. I usually realise by the end of the mont that "gee, my birthday was a few weeks ago and I missed it again," but now I feel sad that there will never be another birthday card from my dear friend, and I think of how much that little gesture meant to me and how a bit of my heart died with her.
It sounds trite, I know, but little things mean a lot, and that was one of the little but very loving things that she did that said "I love you."
Last edited by PhinneyWalker; 07-01-2022 at 10:32 PM..
My mother .
Her knowledge of actors, performers, or historical figures was fascinating.
She would interject a diddy of data about that person. My favorite was watching criminal minds. One night she looked almost hysterical. I said mom?. You okay? And she said: ohhh my!! That's Mandy Patinkin!! I said... And ??
About five minutes of her mini history captured the reasoning for her shock and delight. I miss that about her. How she could get passionate about a performer. To this day I can watch a rerun with Mandy in it , and I can still hear my mom gush about the crush she had on his voice.
I miss our laughs ...and ohh how we could both be watching a classic movie. We'd look over at each other with tears streaming down our faces... And suddenly laugh hysterically. We'd so often go.....ohhh stop it!! ( Meant with love). We were two peas in a pod . Those ' moments' now no more...reside in my memory and heart.
To the OP, I get that ' touchstone' . Having that person to actually listen, care and delve into the days adventure. It's those little things indeed.
I miss cooking for my husband and hearing him say "good fare" after he ate. He was also great with actors and could tell one just from hearing the voice.
My fiance and I met right before Covid hit so that limited what we could do as far as outings. So, our "date nights" would consist of going on long drives and maybe grabbing some food and eating in the car. We liked doing that so much that it continued once things started opening up again.
Also, we would make each other laugh SO much! I miss the hours of laughter....
My fiance and I met right before Covid hit so that limited what we could do as far as outings. So, our "date nights" would consist of going on long drives and maybe grabbing some food and eating in the car. We liked doing that so much that it continued once things started opening up again.
Also, we would make each other laugh SO much! I miss the hours of laughter....
Me too. Me too.
After our first date, I woke up the next morning and thought "Wow, why does my face and my diaphragm hurt so much?" Then I realized that for hours and hours the night before, I had laughed and smiled so much that I actually hurt myself.
That man always made me laugh and smile. What a legacy! When he unexpectedly died, my inbox was full of notes of condolence from coworkers who told me over and over again how great he was to work for and with, and how cheerful he always was, and how much he loved being married to me. Even in death, he made me smile.
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