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MQ I hope your day was special. I know you honored your boyfriend. He was fortunate to have found you before he passed.
God bless you!
I lit a candle, burned his favorite incense, talked to him a bit, and then I said I know I have to let go of you and move on, and I'm going to try to do that. I will always be so, so grateful for the time we had together.
This is a tough time. February 24 was 18 years for my brother, March 11 a year for Frank, March 28 will be four years for my mom.
I will keep swimming. Swimming has taken a new form. I've been asked to work full-time, at least for a while, on a major project, the money is good, and I'm feeling somewhat excited about it. I might very well regret this in a month or two, lol, but since I do receive a retirement pension that is sufficient to live on, I always have the option to say I can't do it if it turns out to be too much.
I lit a candle, burned his favorite incense, talked to him a bit, and then I said I know I have to let go of you and move on, and I'm going to try to do that. I will always be so, so grateful for the time we had together.
This is a tough time. February 24 was 18 years for my brother, March 11 a year for Frank, March 28 will be four years for my mom.
I will keep swimming. Swimming has taken a new form. I've been asked to work full-time, at least for a while, on a major project, the money is good, and I'm feeling somewhat excited about it. I might very well regret this in a month or two, lol, but since I do receive a retirement pension that is sufficient to live on, I always have the option to say I can't do it if it turns out to be too much.
Congratulations and good for you to be in a position to enjoy such options. Unfortunately, far too many Americans are not. I've seen how work can often help people to "move on" from one thing or another. One way or another.
Congratulations and good for you to be in a position to enjoy such options. Unfortunately, far too many Americans are not. I've seen how work can often help people to "move on" from one thing or another. One way or another.
Yes, I am fortunate to have the state pension. Cost me 37 years and a couple of terrorist attacks, but I got through.
I lit a candle, burned his favorite incense, talked to him a bit, and then I said I know I have to let go of you and move on, and I'm going to try to do that. I will always be so, so grateful for the time we had together.
This is a tough time. February 24 was 18 years for my brother, March 11 a year for Frank, March 28 will be four years for my mom.
I will keep swimming. Swimming has taken a new form. I've been asked to work full-time, at least for a while, on a major project, the money is good, and I'm feeling somewhat excited about it. I might very well regret this in a month or two, lol, but since I do receive a retirement pension that is sufficient to live on, I always have the option to say I can't do it if it turns out to be too much.
I've been thinking of you, my friend. I thought it had been a year since Frank passed. Much love to you.
Yes, March 11. Thank you, my friend. I hope things are OK with you.
I remembered that it was March. I didn't know which day. I centered and sent. Hopefully you felt peaceful, even possibly happy, for at least a short time.
I remembered that it was March. I didn't know which day. I centered and sent. Hopefully you felt peaceful, even possibly happy, for at least a short time.
I did. Thank you. The vibes must have found their way.
I did. Thank you. The vibes must have found their way.
I'm happy to know that it wasn't a terrible day. I'm sure that you made plans for the day. My son and I did something interesting and pleasurable which I don't remember. I think that we went to Philadelphia.
This month will be rough as it is my mom's birthday. Once again, I have to will myself through another horrible "first". This will be the first birthday that I will not be visiting my mom's favorite jewelry store. Every year, since I started working, I bought my mom jewelry on her birthday. The story goes that my mom's sisters would give her gifts that she could not use. While she appreciated the gifts, she'd lament to me that people didn't seem to give much thought to them because if they did, they would know that a mustard yellow scarf wouldn't be worn by someone who had an olive complexion and didn't like yellow. One person gifted her a jewelry box, but no one thought to also maybe gift her something like jewelry. My mom was the quintessential "girly" woman. She liked clothes, jewelry, shoes, bags.
"Why can't they give me something I can actually use like a piece of jewelry?"
From then on, I took it upon myself to buy jewelry for her. She was separated at the time, so it was me who bought such gifts. Every year, for the past 25-26 years, she received earrings, pins, etc. for her birthday. She amassed such a collection that I also gifted her a new jewelry box.
Now, all of what I've given to her has now been bequeathed to me. Right now, it's heartbreaking. What was hers, what I had given her, has now returned to me. I'm not at that point yet where I feel her spirit when I put on a pair of her earrings. The jewelry brings me sadness because all of those things make me think of her and making me think of her brings out tears. Because I miss her terribly. I don't want "things"... I want her.
This will be the first time I won't be giving her anything, because she is no longer here.
I will visit her grave and will probably leave flowers or a balloon.
At grief counseling, I'm always told to give myself grace. Perhaps I should... maybe I'm stronger than I think that I am. Because the loss of her has shattered my world...yet here I am. I am still here. I am still willing myself through these events....because I have to live. My mother wanted me to live after her, I know she did. I am blessed that I have people on this earth who push me out of the dark periods.
what I appreciate the most about grief counseling is that they help me to see that it's ok to feel vulnerable, to feel as I feel.
Because I suffered a monumental loss to someone who meant the world to me.
anyway hope everyone had a great Easter. I had decided to visit my mom's church. First thing I did when I was at the steps was break down and cry because the church brought back memories of when I was there for her memorial service. but everyone was so welcoming and loving.
This month will be rough as it is my mom's birthday. Once again, I have to will myself through another horrible "first". This will be the first birthday that I will not be visiting my mom's favorite jewelry store. Every year, since I started working, I bought my mom jewelry on her birthday. The story goes that my mom's sisters would give her gifts that she could not use. While she appreciated the gifts, she'd lament to me that people didn't seem to give much thought to them because if they did, they would know that a mustard yellow scarf wouldn't be worn by someone who had an olive complexion and didn't like yellow. One person gifted her a jewelry box, but no one thought to also maybe gift her something like jewelry. My mom was the quintessential "girly" woman. She liked clothes, jewelry, shoes, bags.
"Why can't they give me something I can actually use like a piece of jewelry?"
From then on, I took it upon myself to buy jewelry for her. She was separated at the time, so it was me who bought such gifts. Every year, for the past 25-26 years, she received earrings, pins, etc. for her birthday. She amassed such a collection that I also gifted her a new jewelry box.
Now, all of what I've given to her has now been bequeathed to me. Right now, it's heartbreaking. What was hers, what I had given her, has now returned to me. I'm not at that point yet where I feel her spirit when I put on a pair of her earrings. The jewelry brings me sadness because all of those things make me think of her and making me think of her brings out tears. Because I miss her terribly. I don't want "things"... I want her.
This will be the first time I won't be giving her anything, because she is no longer here.
I will visit her grave and will probably leave flowers or a balloon.
At grief counseling, I'm always told to give myself grace. Perhaps I should... maybe I'm stronger than I think that I am. Because the loss of her has shattered my world...yet here I am. I am still here. I am still willing myself through these events....because I have to live. My mother wanted me to live after her, I know she did. I am blessed that I have people on this earth who push me out of the dark periods.
what I appreciate the most about grief counseling is that they help me to see that it's ok to feel vulnerable, to feel as I feel.
Because I suffered a monumental loss to someone who meant the world to me.
anyway hope everyone had a great Easter. I had decided to visit my mom's church. First thing I did when I was at the steps was break down and cry because the church brought back memories of when I was there for her memorial service. but everyone was so welcoming and loving.
I am sorry. It's going to be a tough one for you, I'm sure. I hope you get through the best you can. Don't try to squash your feelings. Your grief counseling source is correct.
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