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yes. I will not shop there. PTSD now. My choice. I am allowed.
There was NO managing.
Of any type. ignore is a management tool?? It was excruciating to live thru. Many many many others even kids
seemed concerned. I chose to return the item, not to witness a none lesson of managing an out of control child left on her own to deal. Never again.
Im curious, what would you have wanted the mother to do? You keep talking about managing the child. what kind of management did you want the mother to do?
yes. I will not shop there. PTSD now. My choice. I am allowed.
Yes, you are allowed, and to some extent I get it. BUT you are associating the event with the place when there is no direct relationship, the place did not trigger the event. That event could have happened anywhere, and if that child lives in your community you may likely witness other such events in other places.
I'm curious, what would you have wanted the mother to do? You keep talking about managing the child. What kind of management did you want the mother to do?
This post brings to mind a few situations I've seen in the very distant past where a stranger offered to hold a screaming or crying baby (or play with a child that is acting out). The baby would immediately calm down. There is no way that that would ever happen in modern society, at least not very much - maybe 1% of the time. There's so much fear of abduction and or lawsuits, rightfully so.
One thing that people don’t seem to realize is that there is a shortage of behavior analysts/assistants who can help with these behavioral issues and it one can be on a waitlist for a while to get in with a provider. Even if you do get a provider, there is no guarantee that the provider is a good fit for your child. At my last job, these kids were our clients. We generally had a prohibition against people working for us and then going straight to providers, but there was such a shortage of behavior analysts at the time that in addition to the tuition through the state, we would facilitate people getting the appropriate training and clinical hours. By and large, these poor parents did not get enough support.
Yes it's unfortunate that's been true for many decades. I'm not sure I understand the second part of your post where you talked about someone working for your agency and then going straight to a provider. Can you expand on that?
OP....Get over it. This poor women lives with this child 24/7. Give her a break. Not shopping at this store, for that reason? Don`t let the door hit you, on your way out.
Why get snarky with me? The store will survive. And, I will get over it. I understand the woman lives with the child 24/7. Thank you for the clarification.
You are truly allowed YOUR opinion or right to at least be civil. For you have NO clue to what I MAY BE DEALING WITH. And I, am not sure if you have issues, as well. But I remain civil in my comments.
In my over 40 years of volunteering with my kids activities in parochial, public schools, extracurricular activities, religious camps, etc etc I have never witnessed such an event.
I thank YOU for seeing things thru my eyes and understanding this child should at the very least have remained SAFE as well as the other children near to her at this moment.
MOM WAS NOT CLOSE.
SHE WAS WALKING QUITE A DISTANCE AHEAD. think about it. what could have turned very bad quickly - with NO ONE keeping that child in check, so to speak
*** However, over time, parents and teachers begin to recognize signs that an angry outburst is impending . The look in the child’ s eyes, the tone of his voice or the tightness in his body tell the adult that the child is beginning to get upset. The time from when the child gets upset to when he shows full-blown anger may only be a few seconds. If it is caught in time, the child is much more likely to achieve self-control than if the adult tries to intervene once the child is overflowing with emotion. It is as if the child’ s brain has reached overload then, and it takes some time to cool off.
Maybe the woman living with this 24/7 is new at how to deal. My concern was for the child harm to self.
Or, to someone else had it become more physical. I hope this may bring information to others that find themselves in a similar situation.
OP - would you have been able to ascertain in the heat of the moment whether this child was being harmed? Threatened? Before the dx was screamed out by parent who was still not near child?
How can one tell? Kids are being taken from parents... heard of Adam Walsh? Did he scream? Fight?
Yes, you are allowed, and to some extent I get it. BUT you are associating the event with the place when there is no direct relationship, the place did not trigger the event. That event could have happened anywhere, and if that child lives in your community you may likely witness other such events in other places.
Possible fear. The anxiety I felt for the child. Please don't waste time on me. I said what I feel - after what I witnessed with the many scenarios going thru my mind.
I do not return to those places that may cause anxiety/fear, that is real. My heart was racing - my head was pounding and my stomach ached upon my return HOME. More for the child? is no one getting this?
I too was concerned for that young person. Totally out of control. And people just staring. Glaring.
I am sure I myself need to learn to not blame the brick and mortar for what occurs inside.
I need time to deal. Learn. But that store is off my list. I might be able to attempt another outing there. I am also extremely afraid of coyotes *yep, one came up on me with my small pet - and high places. I have had talks with therapists about this and was never told to go back up into that high place or the area where coyote came up behind me and howled. So...
That is a really great article. It discusses the things I mentioned about distraction and behavior modification, working with the parent as much as with the child, and developing techniques for identifying when the child is ramping up into overload.
yes. I will not shop there. PTSD now. My choice. I am allowed.
There was NO managing.
Of any type. ignore is a management tool?? It was excruciating to live thru. Many many many others even kids
seemed concerned. I chose to return the item, not to witness a none lesson of managing an out of control child left on her own to deal. Never again.
PTSD....over this one event. You have more issues,then this poor child.
Im curious, what would you have wanted the mother to do? You keep talking about managing the child. what kind of management did you want the mother to do?
Now that I have read about some behaviors similar to this was to somehow be certain her child was safe - safe from another kid coming up and wo! causing MORE problems? I have read it is a possibility.
Calmly talk child down somehow? The parent shard the dx quite loudly - was it something she did on her own, to diagnose her child? Did mom remove any potential for self harm of child? Harm to others? By sharing this???
It seemed to me to be an authoritative stand off. I have had those when MY kids were young.
I made choice for my toddler, at the time, to forgo a nap for a quick food shopping outing - hell on earth. she was throwing a fit in the cart steps away from the cashier. Stiffening, just out of control.
So I apologized to the cashier for abandoning the cart of food, lifted my child out of the cart and hugged her. I think I was crying. I took blame for this. We went to the car, me still holding her. And she calmed down. Put her in her car seat - and within moments she was fast asleep.
I am not sure what this woman could have done. Has no one enlightened her? But the what ifs are plenty. She knew what her child's limits were. What the possibilities were. harm to self. seizure. harm to OTHERS.
Hope this was an educational moment that helped mom to know the signs of impending rage or discover a way to put out the flame before it gets worse.
Concern for child. Mom was walking away. The method clearly was not working at this time. Kid was beet red. stiff. the look on face was scary for me.
thank you.
Why get snarky with me? The store will survive. And, I will get over it. I understand the woman lives with the child 24/7. Thank you for the clarification.
You are truly allowed YOUR opinion or right to at least be civil. For you have NO clue to what I MAY BE DEALING WITH. And I, am not sure if you have issues, as well. But I remain civil in my comments.
In my over 40 years of volunteering with my kids activities in parochial, public schools, extracurricular activities, religious camps, etc etc I have never witnessed such an event.
I thank YOU for seeing things thru my eyes and understanding this child should at the very least have remained SAFE as well as the other children near to her at this moment.
MOM WAS NOT CLOSE.
SHE WAS WALKING QUITE A DISTANCE AHEAD. think about it. what could have turned very bad quickly - with NO ONE keeping that child in check, so to speak
*** However, over time, parents and teachers begin to recognize signs that an angry outburst is impending . The look in the child’ s eyes, the tone of his voice or the tightness in his body tell the adult that the child is beginning to get upset. The time from when the child gets upset to when he shows full-blown anger may only be a few seconds. If it is caught in time, the child is much more likely to achieve self-control than if the adult tries to intervene once the child is overflowing with emotion. It is as if the child’ s brain has reached overload then, and it takes some time to cool off.
Maybe the woman living with this 24/7 is new at how to deal. My concern was for the child harm to self.
Or, to someone else had it become more physical. I hope this may bring information to others that find themselves in a similar situation.
OP - would you have been able to ascertain in the heat of the moment whether this child was being harmed? Threatened? Before the dx was screamed out by parent who was still not near child?
How can one tell? Kids are being taken from parents... heard of Adam Walsh? Did he scream? Fight?
This site can`t be reached. There are many autistic children out there, who can be fine one minute and throw a temper tantrum the next minute. Would you rather they be locked away, so they won`t bother you. Blessings to these people, who also have to worry about people that just don`t understand.
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