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Down the aisle, Mom is walking approx - 15 feet ahead with a cart of five items on TOTAL ignore. KID SCREAMING. YELLING.
This 9 year old child is beyond the anger stage and is in full on RAGE.
The mother, the child and a teen son are making their way thru store to the check-out where two people gave the women advance to the cashier. Child still screaming as loud as possible. Fear on her little face.
It was awful to witness. Just draining.
I was waiting in line a couple aisles away, returning an item and wondered if the kid was either way tired - being mistreated - or kidnapped? who would know? Quick deductions - never seen anything like this ever.
Mom, as I said, was on total ignore. Kept walking ahead. Cold, without feeling - zombie mom. (ok, not a kidnapping)
Nearing the exit (while child is still yelling and screaming while turning bright red), a woman approaches and says over the screaming "can you please at least comfort the child?" Please??
Mom starts yelling at concerned woman - the kid looked about to pass out now - "child is bipolar."
BOOM.
*** a good excuse for what looked like really inept parenting of a child with a "problem" blame kid -- walk away. Continue shopping. OOooh ok. Wait, huh?
I have receipt - yikes, nearing the exit - and woman replies to mom "then you should KNOW her triggers and how to deal with them appropriately. It isn't fair to me that I have to be subjected to an unknown event of what could be possible harm to a child, or (could not hear the rest). While you are walking ahead of the child having an extreme episode." (i appreciate that woman for showing/voicing concern) They used very loud voices to be heard over the screams.
Mom yells back something - again, could not hear reply- I want out. When I wonder why didn't mom just let the 15 year old sit with rage child at home or in car or pick her up and carry her out ???? something!
If there was an actual diagnosis - is there not treatment? advice? counseling?? something??? Had this child escalated and snapped she could have been hurt, hurt someone else, damaged property, etc.
While mom and brother were quite far away from her. I surmised this was not the first time.
I am really upset at what I witnessed. Heard. Felt. Experienced. I have seen kids with temper. This parent was just clueless and everyone had to be in the mix. My head hurts and stomach in knots. I really felt bad for the child. Those two both walked ahead of her and ignored. For five items? really?
DIDN'T SEEM TO BE THE GREATEST WAY TO HANDLE THE SITUATION AT ALL.
Cannot find any research, paper, site that suggests parents to ignore the kid and walk far away in public.
So, you're attempting to blame a business for something one of its customers did while on its premises?
Or maybe you have this odd idea that refusing to shop there will punish the business for something it didn't even do. Were you expecting a store employee to intervene? That's a good way to elevate the unhappy spectacle even further or motivate a customer to file a complaint against the business. Sure, it wasn't pleasant to witness, but no crime was being committed here. Store employees are not paid to play mommy, counselor, or referee.
Exactly what do you personally know about managing a bi-polar kid? What else do you know about the backstory of these total strangers? Until you've walked a mile in someone's else's shoes, you shouldn't be judging them.
Last edited by Parnassia; 08-05-2022 at 02:38 PM..
Bi-polar is used flippantly as a blanket explanation for unusual emotional behavior. Most people don't even know much about it, The think it is depression one day and wild behavior the next. Not even close.
It's rare for bi-polar to develop as early as 9 years old. If this child did have it, medication should be given and it is obvious from the child's behavior the Mom has not arranged for any. Poor kid. I think the kid was having a panic attack and Mom should have been trying to comfort him/her by taking it out of the way of other people, to the quietest corner possible (even through the warehouse doors), give the child some water, ask if it needs the bathroom , tell it you are all going to home now and let it settle down.
For God's sake, I knew someone who had a kid like this. It wore her down. Always getting calls from the school, kid was standing in traffic in the middle of a busy road screaming one time when she was supposed to be at camp, in and out of hospitals, on medication, but still would attack her mother at home or other kids at school.
You may not have seen the other thousand times the mother went through this. What the hell makes you think a child like this could be calmed or comforted by going to a quiet corner or being given some water? Are you kidding? Mom's seeming zombie-like stare is probably her self-defense mechanism and keeps her from killing her own offspring.
My friend's kid is now an adult of 30. She has given birth to, and given up, a Down Syndrome child. Her mother has a restraining order against her because of her physical attacks. She has not spoken to her in several years and is sad but relieved to have her out of her life.
Pity this poor woman rather than judge her. She is living a nightmare.
I do agree that it is rare for a child to be bipolar at this age, although my friend was told the same about her daughter. It is likely something far more serious. And not fixable.
I used gravity therapy on any of my "loud" children.
Hold a screaming child upside down until they subside.
Turning their world upside down, seems to distract them.
And if they think to do violence, they soon realize that the consequence of such action may result in being dropped.
For God's sake, I knew someone who had a kid like this. It wore her down. Always getting calls from the school, kid was standing in traffic in the middle of a busy road screaming one time when she was supposed to be at camp, in and out of hospitals, on medication, but still would attack her mother at home or other kids at school.
You may not have seen the other thousand times the mother went through this. What the hell makes you think a child like this could be calmed or comforted by going to a quiet corner or being given some water? Are you kidding? Mom's seeming zombie-like stare is probably her self-defense mechanism and keeps her from killing her own offspring.
My friend's kid is now an adult of 30. She has given birth to, and given up, a Down Syndrome child. Her mother has a restraining order against her because of her physical attacks. She has not spoken to her in several years and is sad but relieved to have her out of her life.
Pity this poor woman rather than judge her. She is living a nightmare.
I do agree that it is rare for a child to be bipolar at this age, although my friend was told the same about her daughter. It is likely something far more serious. And not fixable.
The bolded was what I was thinking. The mom and the teen walking 15 feet ahead with poker faces WAS the coping mechanism. I got the impression, that this was their routine when the child had an "episode". We know nothing about the nature of the child's malaise. The other and other family members are much more familiar with it than we are, needless to say. Should they have left the child at home, of her outbursts are unpredictable? Possibly, but why relegate baby-sitting an out of control, possibly in some way mentally of physically ill child to the teenager. Maybe the family needs professional help they can't afford.
OTOH, should the shopping public be subjected to that? Again, we don't know any of the backstory to this family and their child's condition, what the family's realistic options are, and aren't, etc.
I used gravity therapy on any of my "loud" children.
Hold a screaming child upside down until they subside.
Turning their world upside down, seems to distract them.
And if they think to do violence, they soon realize that the consequence of such action may result in being dropped.
That's really interesting. I wonder if there's any choking risk with that. At least you figured out a strategy that worked.
Down the aisle, Mom is walking approx - 15 feet ahead with a cart of five items on TOTAL ignore. KID SCREAMING. YELLING.
This 9 year old child is beyond the anger stage and is in full on RAGE.
The mother, the child and a teen son are making their way thru store to the check-out where two people gave the women advance to the cashier. Child still screaming as loud as possible. Fear on her little face.
It was awful to witness. Just draining.
I was waiting in line a couple aisles away, returning an item and wondered if the kid was either way tired - being mistreated - or kidnapped? who would know? Quick deductions - never seen anything like this ever.
Mom, as I said, was on total ignore. Kept walking ahead. Cold, without feeling - zombie mom. (ok, not a kidnapping)
Nearing the exit (while child is still yelling and screaming while turning bright red), a woman approaches and says over the screaming "can you please at least comfort the child?" Please??
Mom starts yelling at concerned woman - the kid looked about to pass out now - "child is bipolar."
BOOM.
*** a good excuse for what looked like really inept parenting of a child with a "problem" blame kid -- walk away. Continue shopping. OOooh ok. Wait, huh?
I have receipt - yikes, nearing the exit - and woman replies to mom "then you should KNOW her triggers and how to deal with them appropriately. It isn't fair to me that I have to be subjected to an unknown event of what could be possible harm to a child, or (could not hear the rest). While you are walking ahead of the child having an extreme episode." (i appreciate that woman for showing/voicing concern) They used very loud voices to be heard over the screams.
Mom yells back something - again, could not hear reply- I want out. When I wonder why didn't mom just let the 15 year old sit with rage child at home or in car or pick her up and carry her out ???? something!
If there was an actual diagnosis - is there not treatment? advice? counseling?? something??? Had this child escalated and snapped she could have been hurt, hurt someone else, damaged property, etc.
While mom and brother were quite far away from her. I surmised this was not the first time.
I am really upset at what I witnessed. Heard. Felt. Experienced. I have seen kids with temper. This parent was just clueless and everyone had to be in the mix. My head hurts and stomach in knots. I really felt bad for the child. Those two both walked ahead of her and ignored. For five items? really?
DIDN'T SEEM TO BE THE GREATEST WAY TO HANDLE THE SITUATION AT ALL.
Cannot find any research, paper, site that suggests parents to ignore the kid and walk far away in public.
Store is OFF limits now for me.
How do you know it was fear on her face?
And not maybe, frustration and anger at not being able to get the desired reaction out of her mother?
Perhaps the mother has been to counseling and this is what they told her to do when her child gets that way. To not give a reaction.
Just thinking out loud, here.
Not everything is as it seems.
That's really interesting. I wonder if there's any choking risk with that. At least you figured out a strategy that worked.
If a kid is just having a garden-variety temper tantrum, my mother's method was to leave them in the aisle and just quietly push her cart around the corner and out of sight. The one time my own daughter pulled that, I did the same. They shut up and come running right away.
How do you know it was fear on her face?
And not maybe, frustration and anger at not being able to get the desired reaction out of her mother?
Perhaps the mother has been to counseling and this is what they told her to do when her child gets that way. To not give a reaction.
Just thinking out loud, here.
Not everything is as it seems.
There is something to that. My cousin once worked in a home for disabled children whose parents could not or would not care for them at home. The kids had all sorts of deformities and disabilities, and some of them would act out. On the wall in every room was a sign that said, "ignore the behavior you do not want".
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So, you're attempting to blame a business for something one of its customers did while on its premises? 
