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Location: Miami (prev. NY, Atlanta, SF, OC and San Diego)
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I’m fairly set in my ways and try to avoid annoying situations that test my patience such as long lines, overcrowded places, loud annything and oblivious people who enjoy having phone conversations through a speaker.
My tolerance, however, increases when I frequent new places, particularly when I travel (in large part because I am a visitor on someone else's turf).
Last edited by elchevere; 06-16-2023 at 08:26 AM..
Everyone always wants someone to grow old with and as I get older, I imagine myself being happier all alone, is that weird?
I go from not being able to imagine my life without my husband in it, to knowing that I can be content by myself. I’ve been married to somebody for 56 years…2 husbands and only a year in between. If I’m ever a widow, I’m boarding up the windows and barring the doors. It’s going to be all about ME.
I think it's normal. I know I have experienced it and I've seen similar behavior in my friends.
For one thing I've never been in the habit of leaving the house unkempt but sometimes it seems to take forever to pull myself together before I leave. Did I remember this? That? You know?
I definitely like the world the way it was forty years ago better than the version we have now. And that's my challenge. I know that isolating isn't good for my mental health so I make a deliberate habit to get out and interact several times a week.
The other thing is I don't want to fall behind. Everything moves so fast today it's hard for me to keep up. I think once
I stop learning the new ways to communicate and the gadgets being used I'll be out of the loop and then decline may set in.
We folks on forums tend toward the introvert side and I'll admit nothing sounds more idyllic than spending the rest of my life curled up with a good book!
For my wife and I, it's not being around other people, it's no longer having the patience to deal with waiting for a table, in a line at an event. No more concerts, or even movies for that reason. If we go to a restaurant and there is a line at the door we move on to another. This is why so many of us older folks go out to dinner at 4:30-5:00.
Heck, old people are lucky to make "Final Jeopardy" before losing conscientiousness! LOL!
Back to the subject though, yes as we age, our world become smaller and smaller. Until, eventually, we don't leave our beds.
I agree with the OP. I am only 51, but I have felt that since my mid-40s. Used to be a go-go, big city, lotsa friends kind of guy. Recently I have become more attached to solitude. I'm still an extrovert by every measure, but my preference would be to move into a fancy cabin in the woods (with a pied a terre in the closest city for monthly social bingeing).
I'm supposed to go to a gallery reception today but it will be super crowded, lots of artists and friends of artists that I don't know. Husband supportive of going but leery of that many people like me (and he's the social one of us). Parking will be impossible, Uber was suggested lol. We are not Uber people and coming from 40 minutes away.
Our solution is to arrive very early/leave early. People will be there early, just not a crush.
Last edited by twinkletwinkle22; 07-28-2023 at 07:39 AM..
It all depends on personality no matter your age. I can see that as we get older, we may grow more tired of dealing w/ people & may want to be more isolated.
I've always kind of tried to avoid crowds when I can, even back in my 20s, I believe. Things are just a lot more pleasant the less people there are IMO. I don't have any kind of social anxiety whatsoever, I just like it when places are scarce, such as amusement parks, fairs, movies, museums, even the grocery stores, etc.
I feel more and more isolated as I get older. I also care less and less that it is happening. My husband and I went places, did things, and were very social. Now we are homebodies.
After retirement, he worked part time and I volunteered. No more. Now, if we have to go out for a doctors appointment, it feels inconvenient.
I could participate in many activities if I wanted, but it seems like I can’t plan anything ahead of time, for fear that an ailment will prevent me from going. I can’t hear very well in certain situations that have background noise so I avoid the ladies lunches, even though I’ve met some cool women.
I wouldn’t say that I’m more fearful, but I have more of a “been there, done that” attitude.
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