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Rereading this thread is a bit sad, seems many people are retreating from the world but happy to do so. I guess that’s fine but my motto is to do as much as I can for as long as I can. My husband and I are both somewhat introverted, but in the way that means we prefer a dinner with another couple or two rather than a large group.
We did find that we had to give ourselves a push last year to really get back into things after Covid, we went to South Africa on a group tour and it was hard packing and remembering what to take. But well and truly worth it. Then in October again pushed ourselves to go to Europe and the only quite unpleasant thing was the fourteen hour flight segment from Dubai, where I was stuck in the middle.
I have actually enjoyed this start to the year working out new interests and ways to connect with friends. Changed book clubs, taken up a language group again, really happy with our walking group schedule which takes us all over the place in Sydney (which is geographically huge) and thinking of joining a local Probus group.
Last year I made myself do more night driving and now I am much happier with it. There are so many interesting places to go and things to do in the world and I do not want to miss out.
My DH and I have become very similar. He retired at the end of July. I have worked from home since 2007 and have 4 or so more years to go until I retire. We used to like to go out to see live music, or go to trivia, visit with the neighbors, etc... It's winter here now. We live in Florida but it's been chilly and I hate to go out when it's cold. I also hate to go out when it's dark. The traffic has become a real issue. People are aggressive. Our last outing with our neighbors was weird and they made some racist comments about white people (they are Hispanic and we are white) which made us really uncomfortable. This is in addition to us having to listen to the same stories over and over and over again. We have nothing in common and we simply don't enjoy their company more. They live next door so its very awkward. We have no other friends in the area and unless someone knocks on our door, we probably won't meet any. I am not sure if I am happy with our new reclusiveness or not.
We go on an annual cruise and that is coming up at the end of March with our son and his GF. We always enjoy that. We are also planning a roadtrip this summer to visit another son in the Navy in Virginia and swing back through NC to visit a third son. But that's about it.
I'm glad I read this thread to see that others are facing the same thing. Thanks OP.
I live in a retirement community, and at 72 I'm sort of the youngster here. When people age their mental and physical health changes, sometimes slowly, sometimes overnight if it's a stroke, heart attack, a fall etc. They're usually not the same after something like that happens, and if their mobility suffers just getting out of their apt can be a chore. Strokes often cause paralysis on one side or the other, and to one degree or another. The rehab isn't fun, and it often causes behavioral changes in personality, memory and thinking, depending on what part of the brain was affected.
Nearly everyone on my floor is basically a recluse due to these reasons. Maybe one or two get out even to visit w/ other building tenants. As one of the very few people here that is relatively healthy, rides an eBike, stays active by eating right and stuff, I will need to move soon. It isn't that I don't like the people, I do, and I love my apt. But it can be a little depressing seeing all the things that happen to people. While I am still active I should get out among other active people because one day (unless I die first) I will be one of the other reclusive ones here.
I find that I’m wanting to go out in public less and less. I believe one of the reasons is that I grew up in a different time when more people had manners, were polite, followed directions and rules, were responsible. I could go on.
I guess I don’t like crowds because there are only a few people I like. LOL
I find that I’m wanting to go out in public less and less. I believe one of the reasons is that I grew up in a different time when more people had manners, were polite, followed directions and rules, were responsible. I could go on.
I guess I don’t like crowds because there are only a few people I like. LOL
Well, in the era when I was raised (Gen X), my parents were both upstanding citizens from Silent Generation. My Middle Class, Midwestern peers and I were taught:
Catch more flies with honey than vinegar (manners)
Polite = diplomacy and tact, which are timeless (ditto)
Followed directions and rules: break the rules, not the law, if unjust via peaceful protest. We're doing okay with the rules and laws, and Gen X is in charge via what we inherited from the Boomers?
Responsible: considering some of us were raised by Boomers and the “It’s cool, man!” generation, amazing any of us are responsible.
There is no “different time,” the ancient Greeks said the same thing about so-called “disrespectful youth.” I manage Millennials and a few Gen Z. The world will be just fine in the Millennials’ hands, they’re next up.
Gen Z I’m not sure but I have less exposure and there is another technological revolution in progress (the rise of AI) that may change society in ways both negative and positive…assuming we survive the transition.
Well, in the era when I was raised (Gen X), my parents were both upstanding citizens from Silent Generation. My Middle Class, Midwestern peers and I were taught:
Catch more flies with honey than vinegar (manners)
Polite = diplomacy and tact, which are timeless (ditto)
Followed directions and rules: break the rules, not the law, if unjust via peaceful protest. We're doing okay with the rules and laws, and Gen X is in charge via what we inherited from the Boomers?
Responsible: considering some of us were raised by Boomers and the “It’s cool, man!” generation, amazing any of us are responsible.
There is no “different time,” the ancient Greeks said the same thing about so-called “disrespectful youth.” I manage Millennials and a few Gen Z. The world will be just fine in the Millennials’ hands, they’re next up.
Gen Z I’m not sure but I have less exposure and there is another technological revolution in progress (the rise of AI) that may change society in ways both negative and positive…assuming we survive the transition.
Ummm . . . My parents were from that generation as well, which is why it’s easy for me to compare the TIME I grew up and the current TIME. And there IS a difference.
Ar 53, I am a recluse, but not by choice. I still want to get out; I just can't. Not as much as I want. I live in the middle of nowhere, have no car, have some mobility issues, and suffer from depression and anxiety. I want to get out and see places and take photographs, but have few friends who will come and pick me up. It makes me sad and sometimes mad. I am going to Florida hear soon to meet a good friend and chase a steam train. But I normally go weeks without leaving the house I live in. And I have housemates that watch stupid things on TV, so I mostly stay in my room when I am here.
I grew up among boomers, as I am one. My parents were born in the early teen years of the 1900's. Boomers are a widely diverse lot of people. All kinds of people. Some want to lump us all together. But you can't lump any generation together like that. Any statement that begins all ____ generation are like this or like that is a lie.
I don't think I'm grown more reclusive, but I have always required times of solitude to recharge and step away from the noise of life and detach myself from the energy of others, which can sometimes feel draining. As I've gotten older, I learned to give that to myself instead of always trying to fill other people's needs for company.
I have friends with whom I enjoy spending time. In fact, last night I did something I haven't done in years--went to a bar with a live band with four other women. (Old rockers who had a popular shore band back in the 70s and 80s then got back together a few years ago. So much fun. Most people there were in their 50s and 60s.)
We love getting together but we don't crowd one another out. We've all got stuff--I lost my partner, another has cancer, has another has a serious marriage issue. You know, life as it gets to be in older age.
But I also have another friend who is older and the opposite of reclusive. She would hang out with me every damn day if I encouraged her to, and her neediness to not be alone is draining. I enjoy her company in small doses, but I have to constantly set boundaries with her. I've noticed that her own children set those same boundaries.
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