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Yes, I'd talk to a lawyer if you don't have a social network who will respect your final wishes.
OK, let's assume for the moment this OP isn't a sad, recurring troll.
One problem with stating your wishes in regards to your physical remains in your last will and testament is timing.
Unless you make a point of discussing it with the people most likely to be present when you actually die, by the time family gets around to reading your will, someone's probably already done something with your body...including preparing it for burial or cremation. Too late.
You want something very specific. Whether it's actually achievable or not is debatable. A rather big problem has to do with hospitalization...if you do suffer some medical emergency or become terminally ill chances are you'll end up in a hospital wearing a hospital-issued gown. That's what you be wearing if you do end up dying there. You won't have a say about that. Consider that reality.
In any case, I'd make a point to make your wishes known in multiple ways. In addition to a will, another way to do so is to prepare a "living" will or advance/physician's directive. People use documents like that to designate a medical proxy (someone you know and trust who will act on your behalf if you can't communicate for yourself), but you can include your wishes about your remains too (whether you want organs donated, used for research or education, be buried or cremated and by whom, etc.). Copies of your directive should be kept on file with your doctors and also at the hospital you'd most likely be taken to in an emergency.
One of the most important aspects of an advanced directive is that the document is intended to be discussed and shared with someone else in advance. A will doesn't need to be discussed with anyone in advance though obviously it makes sense to do so if you designated an executor. Advanced directives must be acceptable by your state of residence in order to be honored. State requirements vary, so look into that.
Here is a widely accepted example of an advanced directive. There's a booklet that helps produce the actual document. Note that some of the questions to be answered include how you want your remains to be handled. Even if you don't end up using their forms, the process can be very helpful in articulating what you think you want.
Another thing you might consider is wearing some sort of message bracelet directing anyone who finds you who to contact...someone who knows and respects your wishes.
I think the take home message here is how important it will be to discuss your final wishes with someone and make contacting that someone very easy for anyone to do when the time comes. If you keep everything secret, how will anyone else know what you want?
Last edited by Parnassia; 01-23-2024 at 04:31 PM..
We come in all shapes and sizes OP and if you are deceased does it really matter what happens?
If you are as bad off as you claim how do you go about your day? Do people stare or make comments about your skin? I suspect that most of this is in your head and you should stop worrying about it.
I have a relative that has had really bad psoriasis for the lat 40 years and he doesn't let it get in his way. His skin looks terrible when he goes to the beach but the saltwater is good for his skin so in he goes. He gave up caring what others think long ago.
I think your question would be better answered in a different forum.
I don't care if we come in different sizes. This has nothing to do with my body weight. My weight is normal. I'm not fat. No, it's not in my head. I have been getting bumps every day around my arms and back and then they turn into dark spots eventually. Every freaking day I get new bumps. Sometimes it happens in one area of the body and then somehow it goes to another body part. Just a month ago it was getting all over my chest and and itchy and scratching. I don't know why. It's disgusting.
I want to know if there is a way to put this request on the system instead of relying on a will that they might or might not find. I don't want to hire a lawyer. I want it to be in the system for any paramedic idiot or any other idiot in the medical field or any other idiot part of the process of my dead body so they know the rules and don't remove not even 1 clothing at all. That's what I want. I want this in the system. A written paper doesn't work if the idiot who finds your body can't find it.
I want to know if there is a way to put this request on the system instead of relying on a will that they might or might not find.
NO. There is no way to do this.
You can write and file all the paperwork you want everywhere stating your wishes, but when the time comes, the regulatory and statutory and procedural requirements will override your wishes. I don't know how much clearer this can be said, but it's out of your hands. Even in California with its deceased rights laws, it applies only to request that does not alter the administration of services. So you can demand the hospital staff or funeral home leave you cloth on, but if the standard for administrating necessary service results in your cloths being removed, you have no say in it.
I want to know if there is a way to put this request on the system instead of relying on a will that they might or might not find. I don't want to hire a lawyer. I want it to be in the system for any paramedic idiot or any other idiot in the medical field or any other idiot part of the process of my dead body so they know the rules and don't remove not even 1 clothing at all. That's what I want. I want this in the system. A written paper doesn't work if the idiot who finds your body can't find it.
This magic "system" you're referring to doesn't exist.
BTW, you don't need to hire a lawyer just to write a will (though many folks would advise it depending on how complex your situation is). You don't need a lawyer to prepare an advanced directive either. Your best bet for making people respect your wishes is to broadcast them to as many people in your life as possible. Including your doctors and any hospital you use.
Even that will only go so far. Rabritta is right. If the circumstances surrounding your death call for an autopsy your wishes regarding your body will be overridden. It will probably be much more beneficial to alter your expectations about your body. There are professionals who can help you do it.
Last edited by Parnassia; 01-24-2024 at 02:33 PM..
When we die we have no control over what others may do. Even if you had something legal in place, there is no way to enforce anything unless you had a lawyer on hand at the time of your death, which is unlikely. If it happens in a hospital or hospice, they have laws which would probably supersede any last wishes of someone who dies at their facility, and they would be required to follow those laws.
My advice would be to talk to a therapist/counselor about this, if you have not already.
I used to work in medical, and trust me, they have seen much, much worse than what you describe. I could tell some tales!, but of course I won't because it's a breach of ethics. And to just make this real, you won't care about any of this when you die anyway because you won't be there to care. But again, talk to someone about this. It may take a few tries to find the right fit w/ someone, that's part of the process. What you describe is perfectly normal to feel, and the more you communicate w/ someone about this, the better you will feel.
OP.... Think about leaving your body to medical science, they can study your brain, as well as your skin. You would be doing a great service to mankind.
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