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Two 14-year-old sisters, one in 8th grade and one in 9th. Middle school and high school. The other day the 9th grader was let out 45 minutes early from some band practice, she was locked out of school, couldn't find anybody with a phone, ended up waiting outside all that time for Daddy to come at designated time.
OK so she needs a phone. I have a flip phone I rarely use, don't like and am willing to give to her for purpose of calling home, etc. But Nooooooooooooooooooooooo. It's not cool to have a flip phone and she would be mortified for anybody to see her using it! Daughter tells her daddy that teachers all the time say "get out your phone and go to xyz ". Could that possibly be true. I'm sure she is not the only one without a phone.
DH says they both need phones and we can get ones without data plan.
Here's my problem---besides I'm old and grumpy. We are on them all the time about too much screen time and here he is talking about giving them one more screen!
So do your 14 year old kids have smart phones? Do teachers really assume all kids have them and use them as part of instruction?
If we got them, the rule would be the same as it is for their nexus and laptops---only used downstairs in family room and never upstairs in the bedrooms.
I really was hoping we could hold off til they are 16 but maybe that's not realistic. I know it is important to fit in but damn...this could get expensive. DH has company phone, I don't want a smart phone and we are not used to this expense.
NK with great respect and gentleness you are on the losing side of this one.
Yes, many teachers allow kids to use smartphones to look up particular types of info.
Yes, most suburban high school student have phones, most in my school have smart phones.
Yes, it is another screen, and needs to be managed BUT! I think you do your girls a disservice to give them the space to learn to manage their own screen time. They are teens now (not even pre-teens) and they need to begin learning the skill that needs so much practice, self control!
I would add, that I think you should consider getting them a prepaid plan of data like an allowance and allowing them to purchase their own data if they use it up before the month is up. Prepaid is the way to go! Oh, and just because they want smartphones does not mean they need the newest models. I think you can get used iphone 5, unlocked for pretty cheap now. Or android works great for a first phone too.
None of that is a need. Remember, kids did all that just fine prior to smartphones. Part of time management that is a skill to be learned. I do understand that we can no longer depend on payphones for emergencies. However, Basic phones are capable of text and voice. I could understand GPS and maps when they drive but that's no until they are almost 18 (senior in H.S.). By then, I fully expect them to contribute to the cost of it. The last thing I want is a new driver trying to work their smartphone while driving.
As I said, we have hotspot when away from home.
I think we have a odd sense of "need" these days.
Payphones used to be on every corner. That is no longer the case. Kids may have a pocketful of quarters, but schools rarely have payphones to put them in anymore.
Maybe your school is the exception but for most kids, the ability to call home in an emergency necessitates a phone.
Today's 14-year-olds never had postage stamps you could lick. They've always had self-adhesive stamps, if they ever felt inclined to use snail mail. Different generations have different mindsets.
And my 74 year old dad have had many smartphones , tablets, laptops,desktops. He loves technology. So it's not a generational thing always. I see old women and men with smart phones and younger people who refuse to let go of their flip phone.
Payphones used to be on every corner. That is no longer the case. Kids may have a pocketful of quarters, but schools rarely have payphones to put them in anymore.
Maybe your school is the exception but for most kids, the ability to call home in an emergency necessitates a phone.
I believe you misunderstood my post. Please re-read.
I acknowledge that payphones are no longer common and that phones are necessary for emergency and communication. However, a basic phone (which the OP did offer to their child) is more than capable with voice and text capabilities to meet those needs.
And my 74 year old dad have had many smartphones , tablets, laptops,desktops. He loves technology. So it's not a generational thing always. I see old women and men with smart phones and younger people who refuse to let go of their flip phone.
Yes. I don't see my stance changing with his age. I'm a stickler with keeping life practical and simple as necessary. I think unnecessary complexity in life leads to distraction from the real lessons to be learned.
Is this when I get dismissed as "you would never understand?"
Sure.. get the smartphone for socialization and to help the kid fit in.. but don't delude yourself that that is an absolute necessity. I don't believe in buying the kid whatever they want due to peer pressures. I don't with my child at this age, certainly not when they are older. I don't think it is a good precedent to set.
Yes... there are many things that distract a teenage driver. But that doesn't negate that even adults are distracted with smartphones in their car that lead to accidents. In fact 25% of them.
I think people would be better off not following the crowd. That's really what goes on with this. If it's just basic communication, the flip phone is fine. Otherwise is the added expense of the smart phone worth it? I don't think so it's just a everyone has one,so I have to have one. I wouldn't want the expense of the smart phone, so I'd say NO. 14 years old. You bet I'd say No. When the kids are 16 and get a pt job Id reconsider. Then they would be taught to pay for some of the charge. I have to say though. Im not sure the kids work after school now days.
None of that is a need. Remember, kids did all that just fine prior to smartphones. Part of time management that is a skill to be learned. I do understand that we can no longer depend on payphones for emergencies. However, Basic phones are capable of text and voice. I could understand GPS and maps when they drive but that's no until they are almost 18 (senior in H.S.). By then, I fully expect them to contribute to the cost of it. The last thing I want is a new driver trying to work their smartphone while driving.
As I said, we have hotspot when away from home.
I think we have a odd sense of "need" these days.
I'll never understand this logic. So, just because you and others managed back then, that means we should follow those exact same methods nowadays?
Technology has progressed at a rapid rate, and has helped simplify things. Trying to deny that and delay the inevitable is helpless.
My daughter is in 9th grade, also. Yes all her friends have smartphones and yes her teachers do ask the students to use them. I have been told this by the teachers, so it isn't something I am hearing from my daughter.
There are inexpensive options for smartphones. My daughter's unlocked phone was $150 and her no contract plan with talk and data $15 a month. She doesn't get a ton of data, but she is on WiFi most of the time.
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