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Hopefully the landlord can straighten this out ASAP and even better if the landlord remains there as she packs up and leaves. She is obviously not on the lease.
This was manipulation from the start with the lies about a round-trip ticket, having friends to stay with (where are they now for just a few days?), and “looking” for a job.
Almost all young women this age have heard the horror stories of trafficking, kidnappings, disappearances, etc. and would never put themselves in this situation with a stranger online. That “college student” could turn out to be a 45 year old trafficker. She must feel she hit the jackpot with your son.
After high school, many parents usually say it is a choice of further schooling or a job if they intend to continue to live at home. Maybe that is what her “mean” mother demanded. Hope you get good news soon of a settled situation.
Last edited by shamrock4; 09-15-2022 at 01:30 PM..
I talked to the property manager . He is putting up a notice of eviction due to unlawful occupancy. She has 3 days to get out. If she doesn’t leave in 3 days, then it gets more involved and the courts and law enforcement get called in.
He said it was good I notified him this quickly before squatter’s rights could get invoked.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shamrock4
Hopefully the landlord can straighten this out ASAP and even better if the landlord remains there as she packs up and leaves. She is obviously not on the lease.
This was manipulation from the start with the lie about a round-trip ticket, having friends to stay with (where are they now for just a few days?), and “looking” for a job.
Almost all young women this age have heard the horror stories of trafficking, kidnappings, disappearances, etc. and would never put themselves in this situation with a stranger online. That “college student” could turn out to be a 45 year old trafficker. She must feel she hit the jackpot with your son.
After high school, many parents usually say it is a choice of further schooling or a job if they intend to continue to live at home. Maybe that is what her “mean” mother demanded. Hope you get good news soon of a settled situation.
I agree with all this. My husband and I are shaking our heads that any young woman would be so foolish as to go live with a strange young man several states away.
As to her mother, apparently she makes the girl do all the housework. The horror! It’s like she’s Cinderella or something.
I'd be down there unannounced crashing in the apartment I was paying for, making them uncomfortable.
I'd be telling both of them that I would pay the penalties for breaking the lease rather than support someone that was not my child.
Then when she was out I would explain to him that I would be making more unannounced visits in the future. And I like the idea of the cameras at the door that I could monitor. I would pay her air ticket back home and make sure she boarded and didn't get off. I'd be waiting until the plane took off.
I'd explain that when he was self supporting I would butt out, but that as long as I was paying there would be no roommates. That when he could support himself like an adult he could have as many girlfriends living with him as he wanted.
His whining that it isn't fair shows just how immature he still is. I'd also say he couldn't expect any help from me for any child they might carelessly have. Of course, I would have been telling him that since adolescence.
Does the girl use drugs would also be foremost my mind.
I don't think she has to necessarily be a purposeful user of people. It really doesn't matter. An immature, inept young woman crashing with him isn't any better. The next thing they will be saying is she can't get a job because she has social anxiety. None of it should be OP's problem.
I just read what you said about the landlord. It is great that he is willing to take such quick action. Gives the son someone else to blame, too. Hopefully he can be made to see the light about cutting off contact with her. He be would probably be better off meeting another student organically than online, but he probably won't see it that way.
I talked to the property manager . He is putting up a notice of eviction due to unlawful occupancy. She has 3 days to get out. If she doesn’t leave in 3 days, then it gets more involved and the courts and law enforcement get called in.
He said it was good I notified him this quickly before squatter’s rights could get invoked.
I agree with all this. My husband and I are shaking our heads that any young woman would be so foolish as to go live with a strange young man several states away.
As to her mother, apparently she makes the girl do all the housework. The horror! It’s like she’s Cinderella or something.
That is excellent news! I would still recommend that Dad gets on a plane and watches from a distance while everything plays out. Your son may need some support after she's gone. Try not to say I told you so. Just acknowledge that it was a bad situation and praise him for reaching out, so he knows he can continue coming to you for help in the future.
Yeah, we’ve been going back and forth a bit about who should go out there since my husband is about out of paid days off, but I do think it needs to be him and not me. It will be soon; he’s talking to his boss.
Yeah, we’ve been going back and forth a bit about who should go out there since my husband is about out of paid days off, but I do think it needs to be him and not me. It will be soon; he’s talking to his boss.
I'm glad to know you're trying to work things out, so one of you can be present if anything goes sideways. It's a difficult situation to be sure.
That's excellent news. Hopefully she'll leave without too much drama and at least this way it makes it a little easier on son if he's finding it hard to be the bad guy--he can put it on the landlord. I'd tell him not to give her money or let her take his car to live in or something crazy like that, though. Offering to buy her a non-refundable one way plane ticket if it's only $100 to get her away from him would be money well spent.
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