Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
BTW - Turn off the TV, put down the cell phone/video game and go out into the real world and walk around. Go to stores and shopping malls. Look at the people you see.
There will be an absence of "TV perfect looks" people (that is a fantasy created by TV and these people are not common in real life).
There will be a bunch of not-so perfect people and out-and-out deformed, fat, and ugly people walking around. Most of the time I ALWAYS see these people with someone else! (These are "regular people" - the people next door.)
Note TV can make people appear to be much more attractive that they are in real life. Lighting, makeup, and just showing one side of a face for example. In the past they have placed a silk stocking over the camera lens to make an actor's face appear more attractive.
Anyway see these actors in real life and they don't look so hot...
A thread that was moved from the relationships to the fashion forum got me thinking. It seems that few people wish to acknowledge how being born physically ugly, unattractive or deformed can severely compromise or even destroy an individual's quality of life (I believe that without any kind of quality of life you are basically not living).
We all know that people are cruel and judgmental while others will spin the "it's what's inside that counts" nonsense to try to make afflicted people feel better. The reality is that being severely unattractive will cause the following problems:
- You will / have been severely bullied and tormented at school
- Little or no chance of ever experiencing love
- Difficulty making friends
- More difficulty obtaining employment.
As a result of the above, many so-called ugly people lead lives of loneliness, rejection and self loathing. Everyone is different and I'm sure some can live with it, while others become severely depressed or even suicidal (such people are the ones I'm referring to).
Cosmetic surgery is very expensive and many people simply cannot afford to fix themselves to be accepted by this cruel and judgmental culture here in America. Without money or good insurance there's little you can do. Such people are wedged between having a disability in which they would most likely get free healthcare, but are too normal in every other sense to qualify for such life changing help. Even people who are poor and born with severe dental or orthodontic problems are basically screwed because of the cost.
So what can be done for such people? Obviously you can't make someone be attracted to an ugly person and I don't believe that ugliness should be treated as a disability (I do think such people should be protected from obvious discrimination though). These are some of my suggestions:
- Free cosmetic, dental and orthodontic surgery for those who qualify
- Free mental health counseling
- More focus on anti bullying
- Anti discrimination laws to protect people
- For those who choose not to live, assisted suicide (as who wants to go through such a miserable life if nothing can be done to improve the situation for the sufferer)
What are your thoughts?
Cosmetic surgery isn't an option. It does more harm then good.
I think awareness and information on how to make yourself more attractive should be spread.
More books need to be produced on how to make yourself attractive with the correct information
Here is an example of an article putting out false information of how a guy can make himself more attractive.
It says stuff like have better conversation skills, get a life, fashion and style, get fit, find a passion, talk to people, keep your place cleans and spend time with women. 85% of that information is completely wrong.
How can you have better conversation skills when no one wants to talk to you because your ugly.
How does finding a passion like playing the piano help attract women in a store.
How can I talk to people if most people who don't want to be associated with someone who is unattractive.
How in the heck is keeping my place clean going to help me score a chick at a mall or a club?
Spend time with women...seriously. All ugly men want to spend time with women the problem is that they can't because there ugly
A car needs maintenance and so do people. Like I said most people who are considered unattractive or not in reality.
Chances are they are overweight, there face isn't clear, or there teeth are jacked up, they aren't dressing good enough etc. etc.
Someone should put the proper information out there with the truth about how to really make yourself more attractive wether it be in a form of a website, a book, convention or classes.
Honestly passing laws against lookism isn't going to work. Unlike racism lookism was invented by mother nature. Mother nature can be cruel sometimes if you ever watched animal planet.
My point is people will always discriminate against those who are deemed unattractive because its in our dna. Racism, sexism was a social construct. Trying to force people to accept unattractive people is like fighting against nature itself.
The only thing you can do for us is give us the knowledge on how to become more attractive.
The only curses that we unattractive people have to bear is that we have to work harder to look attractive and spend alot more money.
Braces aren't free, healthier GOOD TASTING food is alot more expensive then junk food, time has to be spent at the gym, natural facial products isn't free, alot more time and effort has to be spent on watching what I eat so I won't break out with acne, etc. etc.
If your poor and ugly then your pretty much screwed. Like I said it cost money. If your not making at least 35K a year it will be hard. So If I were unattractive I would focus on my career and increasing my income and then improve my appearance.
The funny thing is the people who are 6s and 7s who look down on me for being a 2 now look up now I'm an 8 because they don't have the knowledge and don't work on themselves. Like I said unattractive people are unattractive by choice. I was a 2... a 2.
My thoughts: I think the only person who would post such an extreme viewpoint thinks of himself as hideously ugly and is most likely suffering from body dysmorphic disorder.
I know a lot of people who are unattractive in different ways, but none of them are miserable about it. They have jobs, spouses, children and go about their lives as anyone else. I live in WV, one of the country's "ugliest" states! I went on a blind date the other week with a guy who was so gnarly-looking it took my breath away. Still, he has an amazing, high-powered Washington DC job, tons of friends and has been in several long-term relationships over the years.
There is some major disconnect going on in your mind. Ugly =/= unhappy for the vast majority.
Body dismorphic disorder is fascinating. There are whole websites devoted to people who call themselves "incels" (involuntary celibates). One of their favorite pastimes is posting pictures of their faces complete with ridiculously detailed criticisms of their appearance. They almost often look quite normal, average and acceptable in appearance and frequently are attractive. In short "it's all in their heads".
BTW - Turn off the TV, put down the cell phone/video game and go out into the real world and walk around. Go to stores and shopping malls. Look at the people you see.
There will be an absence of "TV perfect looks" people (that is a fantasy created by TV and these people are not common in real life).
There will be a bunch of not-so perfect people and out-and-out deformed, fat, and ugly people walking around. Most of the time I ALWAYS see these people with someone else! (These are "regular people" - the people next door.)
Note TV can make people appear to be much more attractive that they are in real life. Lighting, makeup, and just showing one side of a face for example. In the past they have placed a silk stocking over the camera lens to make an actor's face appear more attractive.
Anyway see these actors in real life and they don't look so hot...
Wow! You hit the nail clean on the head. I gave you a + rating on this because it spells out how much our cultural norms define attractiveness. I know that I am really very average on the "looks" scale, but when I look around I find a world of people just like me. I am one of "the regular people next store." I was in Walmart and had that realization about the world I live in years ago.
I do acknowledge that there are people that face real ridicule because of there physical appearance. Today, weight is a huge issue. Extremely large people are often mistaken for gluttonous and lazy when they actually are dealing with a thyroid or related physical issues that have nothing to do with their own actions.
There are also people that just do not care about looks. And, it shows in their lifestyle and appearance. Who am I to judge them.
I also admit I am attracted to attractive people, but as I get older I find attractiveness in more ways than I use to when I was younger.
Again, thanks for the insight about cultural norms and the media. It just is not real for the real world.
Non-creep. Please read twice through what you just wrote. The words you use, what you are saying, and the assumptions you are making sounds incredibly shallow. I've had multiple friends in college who had physical disabilities but this did not deter them from living to their utmost potential. A lab partner of mine had to be plugged in at night and was partially paralyzed. Rather than pity him, or treat him with more sympathy than others, I treated him as who he was...an equal. He was incredibly gifted. He was also confident, polite, and had a good disposition. He graduated with an aerospace engineering degree with me. He found an environment where his strengths would be recognized and he would not be treated as a 'special' because he was different.
No non-creep is right. I was the one who kind of inspired him to make his thread based off a thread I made a while back.
Yes you have exceptions where you have unattractive people who overcome the barriers setup by society.
But the statistics, data and factual information is out there. On average and for the most part attractive people get paid more, more job opportunity, a better sex life, better social experiences, more dating options and just a better quality of life based on their appearance alone. You can't argue with numbers.
I lived both lives.
I walked into a best buy store and had to hunt somebody down for assistance. When I finally did they were rude, impatient and pretended not to know any of my questions just to get away from me. I also recieved snug and mean looks from everyone in that store. Customers and associates. Whenever I seen a female customer they would walk away and not even get close to me. When I finally purchased my console the cashier through the money on the counter when I extended my hand. The greeter who's only job is to say bye or hi to the customer entering and leaving the store made eye contact with me and rolled her eyes.
I walk into the same best buy store. I don't even smile or make eye contact with the greeter but she insist on saying hi and getting my attention and also insists if she can help me with anything. Every department I go to I was constantly harassed by sales and customers. "Can I help you? How are you doing today sir." All of a sudden they have all these deals. Any question I asked was answered even if it wasn't best buy related which would lead to full blown conversations. I was smiled at by 3 girls who were customers. Actually I'm using the discounted toshiba laptop now for writing this post. The cashier rubbed my hand when I handed her the money The greeter then smiled hard and said bye when I left the store.
Thats just walking into a store. Thats how drastic the difference in lifestyles are. EVERY STORE I WALKED IN I RECEIVED THE SAME NEGATIVE TREATMENT WHEN I WAS UNATTRACTIVE.
Imagine going through that for every second of your life every day and you would understand why the op put sucidal assistance even though it is a bit harsh.
Again thats just walking into a store. Where not even talking going to a club, or applying for a job, or trying to make friends.
I went to a club and literally girls left. No one wanted to even stand around me. I smiled, I acted natural and tried to ignore it but it doesn't matter. Women make it known that you are unattractive very strongly these days even more so then men. They will literally leave an area because they automatically assume you would try to interact with them. Most don't want even stand any where near you. The dancing stops.
I got alot of disgusted looks by men and women in the club. The bartender was rude.
I go to the club now. I go to the bar tender mind my own business grab a few drinks. I see guys dancing their brains out and trying there hardest to get women. I stand on a wall and a hot girls who sees me starts dancing in front of me. She slowly starts working her way over to me to the point where she's literally in front of me. I dance with her a bit, walk away and grab another drink. I sit down in front of the bar and another girl goes to the bar and she bends over in front of me and starts dancing. She eventually walks away. 20 mins pass by I go back to standing on the wall. A girl climbs a stripper pole right in front of me and starts working it. I don't advance and let some other guy dance with her. I go downstairs to watch a performance and feel this hand rubbing my back. I knew immediately I knew it was a girl because I would have flipped if it was a guy. I turn around like what the heck are you doing? She immediately catches an attitude like she was trying to get me out of the way but she was rubbing my back for like 10 secs not tapping. She stands with her girlfriend and they whisper some stuff to each other. So I'm like whatever their probably talking bad about me. Her girlfriend stands next to me and I'm like "here we go." Next thing you know she bumps into me. I'm like whatever. She then rubs herself against me gently. I'm still like whatever. Next thing you know she's apologizes for being in my personal space and the next thing I know her butt is on my crotch.
When I leave I get respect from security and their telling me to drive home safely.
Thats just a club.
In those two examples, I got a discounted laptop, knowledge on better deals, could have made up 4 friends by entering a store, walked away with a phone number if I decided to smile back at 1 of the girls, and I got tons of action at the club without even trying. And thats just the tip of the iceberg. Where talking only a few hours of life. Being unattractive hinders every single facet of life.
A good personality and confidence in yourself overrides any ugliness that people might perceive as ugly.
The old saying is so true: beauty is only skin deep. I know a few beautiful on the outside, but they are UGLY people inside.
Now, that being said, I have one UGLY sister in law, both on the outside and on the inside. I accept her and treat her well because my brother loves her, and that's the only reason lol...
I walked into a best buy store and had to hunt somebody down for assistance. When I finally did they were rude, impatient and pretended not to know any of my questions just to get away from me. I also recieved snug and mean looks from everyone in that store. Customers and associates. Whenever I seen a female customer they would walk away and not even get close to me. When I finally purchased my console the cashier through the money on the counter when I extended my hand. The greeter who's only job is to say bye or hi to the customer entering and leaving the store made eye contact with me and rolled her eyes.
I walk into the same best buy store. I don't even smile or make eye contact with the greeter but she insist on saying hi and getting my attention and also insists if she can help me with anything. Every department I go to I was constantly harassed by sales and customers. "Can I help you? How are you doing today sir." All of a sudden they have all these deals. Any question I asked was answered even if it wasn't best buy related which would lead to full blown conversations. I was smiled at by 3 girls who were customers. Actually I'm using the discounted toshiba laptop now for writing this post. The cashier rubbed my hand when I handed her the money The greeter then smiled hard and said bye when I left the store.
I went to a club and literally girls left. No one wanted to even stand around me. I smiled, I acted natural and tried to ignore it but it doesn't matter. Women make it known that you are unattractive very strongly these days even more so then men. They will literally leave an area because they automatically assume you would try to interact with them. Most don't want even stand any where near you. The dancing stops.
I got alot of disgusted looks by men and women in the club. The bartender was rude.
I go to the club now. I go to the bar tender mind my own business grab a few drinks. I see guys dancing their brains out and trying there hardest to get women. I stand on a wall and a hot girls who sees me starts dancing in front of me. She slowly starts working her way over to me to the point where she's literally in front of me. I dance with her a bit, walk away and grab another drink. I sit down in front of the bar and another girl goes to the bar and she bends over in front of me and starts dancing. She eventually walks away. 20 mins pass by I go back to standing on the wall. A girl climbs a stripper pole right in front of me and starts working it. I don't advance and let some other guy dance with her. I go downstairs to watch a performance and feel this hand rubbing my back. I knew immediately I knew it was a girl because I would have flipped if it was a guy. I turn around like what the heck are you doing? She immediately catches an attitude like she was trying to get me out of the way but she was rubbing my back for like 10 secs not tapping. She stands with her girlfriend and they whisper some stuff to each other. So I'm like whatever their probably talking bad about me. Her girlfriend stands next to me and I'm like "here we go." Next thing you know she bumps into me. I'm like whatever. She then rubs herself against me gently. I'm still like whatever. Next thing you know she's apologizes for being in my personal space and the next thing I know her butt is on my crotch.
When I leave I get respect from security and their telling me to drive home safely.
I literally just laughed out loud for a good five minutes at that entire post. The fantasy storytelling on these forums is out of control! Those "true" examples sounded like something I'd find on a pickup artist forum.
Pro-tip: you can tell how established and experienced a man is in the dating arena by how he refers to women. If he calls all women "girls"- even when those women are 21+ - he's probably not that experienced with women at all. We stop being girls at 18, and calling us "girls" is just plain ridiculous once we're in our 20s and beyond.
Anyway, I sincerely hope that no man who is lacking confidence and is unsure of his looks believes those tales and strives to achieve anything like what was stated. That said, Veyron was 100% right in his first post that there are steps a guy can take to look more attractive and that there needs to be more self-help books and articles about that. I can't tell you how many young guys I see walking around in the city and on my college campus who are totally clueless as to how to dress themselves attractively and do their hair in a way that's flattering (and none of those guys are ignored or abused by their peers like Veyron supposedly was; plenty of them even have girlfriends!).
Veyron was also 100% right in his first post that being financially stable is important. Social constructs are unfortunate, but they are what they are: a big portion of a woman's value is in her looks and a big portion of man's value is in his financial circumstance. Of course, a woman shouldn't only focus on her looks and a man shouldn't only focus on his money. We're slowly progressing from such strict societal norms, so it's important for both sexes to be well-balanced and well-rounded.
I am of the belief that everyone should always try to look their best, but that's just how I was raised. Non-creep, you've never been very specific about what you mean when you say you're really unattractive or what you mean when you're talking about ugliness in general. Until you make that a little clearer, you're going to keep getting the rainbow-and-unicorn responses from people saying, "looks don't matter! It's what's inside that counts!" What's inside does totally matter, but looks do too. Especially if you're young, there's no denying that. So, what kind of physical attributes do you think are so awful that, if a person is born with them, the government should be inclined to see fixed? Just dental work?
I literally just laughed out loud for a good five minutes at that entire post. The fantasy storytelling on these forums is out of control! Those "true" examples sounded like something I'd find on a pickup artist forum.
Pro-tip: you can tell how established and experienced a man is in the dating arena by how he refers to women. If he calls all women "girls"- even when those women are 21+ - he's probably not that experienced with women at all. We stop being girls at 18, and calling us "girls" is just plain ridiculous once we're in our 20s and beyond.
Anyway, I sincerely hope that no man who is lacking confidence and is unsure of his looks believes those tales and strives to achieve anything like what was stated. That said, Veyron was 100% right in his first post that there are steps a guy can take to look more attractive and that there needs to be more self-help books and articles about that. I can't tell you how many young guys I see walking around in the city and on my college campus who are totally clueless as to how to dress themselves attractively and do their hair in a way that's flattering (and none of those guys are ignored or abused by their peers like Veyron supposedly was; plenty of them even have girlfriends!).
Veyron was also 100% right in his first post that being financially stable is important. Social constructs are unfortunate, but they are what they are: a big portion of a woman's value is in her looks and a big portion of man's value is in his financial circumstance. Of course, a woman shouldn't only focus on her looks and a man shouldn't only focus on his money. We're slowly progressing from such strict societal norms, so it's important for both sexes to be well-balanced and well-rounded.
I am of the belief that everyone should always try to look their best, but that's just how I was raised. Non-creep, you've never been very specific about what you mean when you say you're really unattractive or what you mean when you're talking about ugliness in general. Until you make that a little clearer, you're going to keep getting the rainbow-and-unicorn responses from people saying, "looks don't matter! It's what's inside that counts!" What's inside does totally matter, but looks do too. Especially if you're young, there's no denying that. So, what kind of physical attributes do you think are so awful that, if a person is born with them, the government should be inclined to see fixed? Just dental work?
Why do you find it so ridiculous? This is one of those situations where you have to have gone though it to understand it. It's the same way as a non blind person can't understand a blind person, but he or she can emphathize with them.
Since ugliness often pertains to the face, dental work, oral and maxillofacial surgery should be free or at least made afforable. I'm so sick of the bootstrap types who seem to place all the onus on the individual, which is tantamount to kicking a person while they're already down (bear in mind these are people who have most likely suffered years or torment anyway so are most likely already broken). I come from a country where such treatment most likely would be completely free of charge. America loves to punish the poor. As the poster a page or so back said, if you're poor and born ugly you are basically screwed.
I differ from you. I literally don't care about looks. I am unhappy with mine for far more complex reasons that I don't care to go into right now as my situation has no relevance here. I would prefer to see people act kindly and treat others with respect. That's what depresses me about humanity: that we are a cruel and savage bunch of animals. Someone's appearance or even the way they dress means morning to me.
I'm glad you find this amusing anyway as this was not intended to be a joke thread. Not very mature (since you chose to lecture people on not calling women "girls".
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
85% of that information is completely wrong.
