What to do for ugly or severely unattractive people (thoughts, girls, problems)
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We've all seen exceptionally beautiful people who are screwed up, no personality and married 4-5 times.
Beautiful outside, ugly on the inside.
Unfortunately most people don't care to take the time to get to know someone to see how they are inside. They're way too judgmental and just think ugly "ew" beautiful "hot". I've seen it so many times.
This is a highly individual type thing anyway. Perhaps some people can cope with being disfigured and don't need love in their life or can just plain live without it. If you're exceptionally smart you can still have a career.
But there are people who can't cope with it. Nothing will make it right for them. I'm talking about these kind of people:
Are you going to tell these people to bootstrap up? How are they supposed to even like themselves when they have most likely been reminded of their ugliness from kindergarten onwards and have suffered endless tormenting, rejection and exclusion. Work on your personality? That's all well and good except we live in a superficial world where you'll most likely not even get the chance to show it. Narcissists love themselves anyway so I don't see that as particularly good either.
If the suggestion of assisted euthanasia sounded extreme, read those links I provided and try to feel someone else's pain rather than judge. In extreme cases where the individual's quality of life is non existent I would totally understand if someone wanted to opt out. Who the hell wants to just exist for 70-80 years being alone? As humans and as animals one of our core requirements is to bond. To be robbed of that is not something that everyone can live with and the world isn't changing anytime soon.
I literally just laughed out loud for a good five minutes at that entire post. The fantasy storytelling on these forums is out of control! Those "true" examples sounded like something I'd find on a pickup artist forum.
Pro-tip: you can tell how established and experienced a man is in the dating arena by how he refers to women. If he calls all women "girls"- even when those women are 21+ - he's probably not that experienced with women at all. We stop being girls at 18, and calling us "girls" is just plain ridiculous once we're in our 20s and beyond.
Anyway, I sincerely hope that no man who is lacking confidence and is unsure of his looks believes those tales and strives to achieve anything like what was stated. That said, Veyron was 100% right in his first post that there are steps a guy can take to look more attractive and that there needs to be more self-help books and articles about that. I can't tell you how many young guys I see walking around in the city and on my college campus who are totally clueless as to how to dress themselves attractively and do their hair in a way that's flattering (and none of those guys are ignored or abused by their peers like Veyron supposedly was; plenty of them even have girlfriends!).
Veyron was also 100% right in his first post that being financially stable is important. Social constructs are unfortunate, but they are what they are: a big portion of a woman's value is in her looks and a big portion of man's value is in his financial circumstance. Of course, a woman shouldn't only focus on her looks and a man shouldn't only focus on his money. We're slowly progressing from such strict societal norms, so it's important for both sexes to be well-balanced and well-rounded.
I am of the belief that everyone should always try to look their best, but that's just how I was raised. Non-creep, you've never been very specific about what you mean when you say you're really unattractive or what you mean when you're talking about ugliness in general. Until you make that a little clearer, you're going to keep getting the rainbow-and-unicorn responses from people saying, "looks don't matter! It's what's inside that counts!" What's inside does totally matter, but looks do too. Especially if you're young, there's no denying that. So, what kind of physical attributes do you think are so awful that, if a person is born with them, the government should be inclined to see fixed? Just dental work?
Fantasy storytelling? What do I have to gain by making that stuff up?
I geuss the truth is that hard to believe.
If you don't believe my story then there's other people with similiar situations.
Unattractive and Attractive people live in two worlds. I was fortunate enough to step out the miserable world of being unattractive.
I was thinking that Veyron's post sounded like "Bob" in those commercials for some body-part enhancement pills! Be like Bob and the bouncer will high-five you for attracting bar skanks! Sorry Veyron, but it really does sound like some silly fantasy.
Taxpayers should not have to pay for non-health related cosmetic surgery. If someone is truly disfigured there are charities that assist, such as Shriners and Crippled Children's Fund. In fact, CFC paid for my sister's orthodontia and she wasn't "ugly" in the slightest. Her teeth came in very crooked and there were several extra teeth.
Ugly is a term I don't think I have ever used to describe a person, or at least not their looks. Some people are ugly on the inside in my opinion, just like some are beautiful on the inside. To me looks are only important for about 5 minutes. Once you talk to someone for a few minutes, you realize that regardless if they are pretty or handsome, if they are clueless or worse yet, selfish or cruel you can't stand to be around them. I think that book that Veyron puts down, sounds pretty good to me. I think it would help a lot of guys. I don't care how good looking a guy is, if he is boring, has no talents or interests, lives like a pig in his home, or talks to women like a jerk, I want nothing to do with him. Lifestyle is important, think "***** Eye for the Straight Guy". Most of those transformations were lifestyle based. As far as women not wanting to hang with a guy who is unattractive, that is just so untrue. I'm a woman and I have had lots of friends, and even boyfriends who other people thought were unattractive. It's their personality that attracts me. I am thinking of one guy I dated for a year...he was short, balding, and had a glass eye that was obvious because it didn't track with the good eye. Or my first husband...on the short side, porn star moustache and caterpillar eyebrows, with the hairiest legs ever! GOOD women are attracted to so much more than a pretty face. Pretty MIGHT get you in the door, but a sense of humor and a little intelligence and a good heart will allow you to stay in the room. On the other hand, some of the prettiest men I dated were pretty awful to me, some were just always looking over my shoulder for someone prettier than me, or looking for the nearest mirror so they could admire themselves.
I think all the suggestions in the original post are good. I'd go further and think other facial procedures should be subsidized in extreme cases and that all that stuff should be offered early in life. I recommend encouraging surgeons via tax breaks and not via taxes on the general public. But there's another important point to make: in most cases, those unfortunate people have terrible genetics and should not be allowed to reproduce and spread their misery, which surgery would make more likely. Therefore, free sterilization must be available and nearly mandated for them.
I think all the suggestions in the original post are good. I'd go further and think other facial procedures should be subsidized in extreme cases and that all that stuff should be offered early in life. I recommend encouraging surgeons via tax breaks and not via taxes on the general public. But there's another important point to make: in most cases, those unfortunate people have terrible genetics and should not be allowed to reproduce and spread their misery, which surgery would make more likely. Therefore, free sterilization must be available and nearly mandated for them.
I agree. And for the living ones who want out, they should be granted a painless exit by assisted suicide. Until humanity evolves to tolerate differences, we should allow people who want out to have the opportunity. Being ugly is worse than being crippled in many respects because not only do you deal with torment, bullying and a lifetime of loneliness, but you also have virtually no protection against discrimination. To deny someone companionship and love; as far as I'm concerned, that's no way to have to live.
I don't care for a political debate on what the taxpayer should or shouldn't pay for. Politics annoys the **** out of me. It's the same old crap from both sides. I wish people would learn to think independently without repeating the same crap that other people say.
OK then. When you say "free", who WILL pay for it? Do you expect the doctors to provide their services at no charge? Charity? Taxes? I'm being serious here.
You have all sorts of grandiose ideas, but no practical way to apply it. Too bad politics annoy you - you appear to be a born bureaucrat. You know what "needs" to be done, but have no real world ideas about how to accomplish them, because the "how" is so boring.
Steve Buscemj isn't even ugly and looks pretty handsome when he wears a goatee.
It's all about the luck of the draw I guess. Confidence comes from how you were raised as a child. If you have those foundations in place maybe you can beat it but I don't think that's the norm. Also ugly people are just people and therefore are just as visual as anyone else, so they aren't likely to be attracted to people just as ugly.
I agree that the BDD label can be applied to anorexia which is a horrible affliction. It should not be applied to people who have good cause for mental suffering as a result of something seriously wrong with their appearance.
Oh and to the "I don't want taxpayers money paying for X", I'm sure you don't mind taxpayers money being blown on pointless wars and weapons to kill people. I believe that dentistry needs to be far more affordable as does orthodontic surgery which could help a lot of people who needlessly suffer.
I thought you didn't involve yourself in politics? You also said this: I wish people would learn to think independently without repeating the same crap that other people say. And yet, there you are, repeating the same "pointless wars, blah, blah, blah".
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doobalistic
