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We all know that people are cruel and judgmental while others will spin the "it's what's inside that counts" nonsense to try to make afflicted people feel better. The reality is that being severely unattractive will cause the following problems:
- You will / have been severely bullied and tormented at school
- Little or no chance of ever experiencing love
- Difficulty making friends
- More difficulty obtaining employment.
As a result of the above, many so-called ugly people lead lives of loneliness, rejection and self loathing. Everyone is different and I'm sure some can live with it, while others become severely depressed or even suicidal (such people are the ones I'm referring to).
What are your thoughts?
I abbreviated it a bit.
I know from life that many "unattractive" people (which is subjective) have GREAT lives. The Prom King, the most popular guy on campus, that went on to get a PhD in physics and marry an incredibly lovely woman and who had so many girls after him was "ugly." Almost to the point of looking like Icabod Crane - you noticed it immediately and when he spoke, you forgot about it immediately. He was witty, wise, full of life and fun, intensely intelligent, and MORE. Just a great guy.
I have seen this time and again. The slight, lisping, acne-scarred student who went on to be a veterinarian and marry a knockout and become rich from his animal clinics. The facially deformed and eventually wheelchair-bound men who got their PhDs in engineering, math, or biochemistry and became full professors with their choice of spouses! And what about Harriet McBryde Johnson, who had Muscular Dystrophy and wasted away but became a lawyer, writer, speaker and just a beloved person.
BUT I think it throws a roadblock into the paths of many. Or maybe that roadblock would be there anyway. I was gorgeous but had quite a tormented childhood and life. What I don't like is to see people marginalized for how they LOOK, not who they ARE.
I know from life that many "unattractive" people (which is subjective) have GREAT lives. The Prom King, the most popular guy on campus, that went on to get a PhD in physics and marry an incredibly lovely woman and who had so many girls after him was "ugly." Almost to the point of looking like Icabod Crane - you noticed it immediately and when he spoke, you forgot about it immediately. He was witty, wise, full of life and fun, intensely intelligent, and MORE. Just a great guy.
I have seen this time and again. The slight, lisping, acne-scarred student who went on to be a veterinarian and marry a knockout and become rich from his animal clinics. The facially deformed and eventually wheelchair-bound men who got their PhDs in engineering, math, or biochemistry and became full professors with their choice of spouses! And what about Harriet McBryde Johnson, who had Muscular Dystrophy and wasted away but became a lawyer, writer, speaker and just a beloved person.
BUT I think it throws a roadblock into the paths of many. Or maybe that roadblock would be there anyway. I was gorgeous but had quite a tormented childhood and life. What I don't like is to see people marginalized for how they LOOK, not who they ARE.
This guy could have easily just felt sorry for himself because he is one ugly dude...instead he became a very successful singer, songwriter and actor who married one of the most beautiful women in the world at that time.
Other physically unattractive people who accomplished a lot rather than star at their own pity party: Danny DeVito, Richard Nixon, Whoopie Goldberg, Stephen Hawkings, Paul Giamatti, Stephen King, Margaret Thatcher...it's not the cards you're dealt, but how you play them, too.
I think that having a pill to kill my attraction to women would be great. I have no luck with women and thats okay i just want to move foward without feeling depressed all the time.
How do you stay confident if you fail all the time? I tried dating made me feel so low so i stopped doing things that i fail at. i dont get how your confident in something when you constantly fail.
How do you stay confident if you fail all the time? I tried dating made me feel so low so i stopped doing things that i fail at. i dont get how your confident in something when you constantly fail.
Confidence doesn't come FROM success, it's a required pre-requisite in order to become successful - in other words confidence LEADS to success. Your problem is focusing on one factor, and an external one at at that, to develop confidence. Confidence is a belief in yourself, a love of yourself and a knowledge that you are a worthy person who can handle whatever life throws at you and come out the other side. You develop it by sticking to things even when hard, and by doing things that make you feel proud of yourself.
Fix the rest of your life so that a woman is the icing, not the whole cake. Once you have created a life that makes you happy, other people, including women, will want to be a part of it.
Okay forget about the women like i said im through with them. I dont get it to keep getting rejected is to build confidence doesnt make sense but i am confident in the other things i do just not women i can live with that we cant have it all even thoug we would like to but thanks for the advice.
I'm fat, so I've had my fair share of the "you're ugly" and fat jokes. Honestly, I've learned to embrace my body and I make fun of myself all the time. I'm still afraid to take off my shirt when I go swimming (LOL). When people antagonize me I don't let them get the satisfaction of knowing that they have insulted me, I laugh at their joke and it ends up making THEM feel insecure about themselves. It's a great way to live and I find it somewhat entertaining.
In the gay scale being fat is an absolute "no-no", but I've actually been able to attract some cute guys in recent months when I adopted this attitude. Kinda weird...
Confidence doesn't come FROM success, it's a required pre-requisite in order to become successful - in other words confidence LEADS to success. Your problem is focusing on one factor, and an external one at at that, to develop confidence. Confidence is a belief in yourself, a love of yourself and a knowledge that you are a worthy person who can handle whatever life throws at you and come out the other side. You develop it by sticking to things even when hard, and by doing things that make you feel proud of yourself.
Fix the rest of your life so that a woman is the icing, not the whole cake. Once you have created a life that makes you happy, other people, including women, will want to be a part of it.
Great post! Echoes my thoughts exactly but I doubt I could have worded it so well!
Confidence doesn't come FROM success, it's a required pre-requisite in order to become successful - in other words confidence LEADS to success. Your problem is focusing on one factor, and an external one at at that, to develop confidence. Confidence is a belief in yourself, a love of yourself and a knowledge that you are a worthy person who can handle whatever life throws at you and come out the other side. You develop it by sticking to things even when hard, and by doing things that make you feel proud of yourself.
Fix the rest of your life so that a woman is the icing, not the whole cake. Once you have created a life that makes you happy, other people, including women, will want to be a part of it.
So you should be confident in things you have never done before? I shoud be confident in dating when i have never had one? Im sorry it just doesnt make sense
So you should be confident in things you have never done before? I shoud be confident in dating when i have never had one? Im sorry it just doesnt make sense
I'm going to assume an interpretation of ocnjgirl's post, this is how I took it so I hope she corrects me if I'm mistaken.
You should be confident that you can do things you've never done before... Just because you haven't done something doesn't mean you can't it just means you haven't. Of course you can't be confident in a nonexistent/unpracticed ability/activity ie "dating, doing a backflip, drifting a race car with expert precision" etc but you can be confident in your ability to learn and acquire the skills/knowledge necessary to become proficient in these things, which will lead to confidence in the ability itself which comes through much repetition of a skill.
I was a competitive gymnast in high school but before I was a gymnast I wasn't a gymnast...but I was confident that I could learn any of the skills I needed to be competitive despite innate physical disadvantages, ie standing at 5"10 & weighing close to 200(used to workout a lot!) pounds I was much taller and physically larger than most competitive gymnasts.... Didn't stop me, and I competed successfully for over four years
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