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No one wants to acknowledge this issue, but the stigma against single, childless people over 30 is real. Past 30, you're meant to have your s@@t together and be married with kids. If you're not, people see you as some sort of non adult and you end up losing friends when they get pregnant, as parents tend to only want to be friends with other parents and people change when they have kids. Dating becomes difficult too, because you're left with the people who are also not good enough to be part of society by following the plan. The childfree moment is a joke...these people are honestly just envious of parents like I am, but they won't admit it.
I agree with you that it can be harder to fit in and make friends if you're unmarried without children, but that still doesn't make me wish that I had children.
Many people desire to live their life without children. Some don’t have the parental skills and others just like a peaceful life. Nothing wrong with that. Children are fine if you have the income and patience. Live and let live. What works for some doesn’t work for all.
^^^^^^^this
I've never experienced any issues of stigma over the years.
Scrolling through my Facebook feed looking for childless single women over 30 I've known for decades, I see skiing powder at Squaw, SCUBA diving in the Caymans, a bunch of Park City ski pictures, on skis at Sunday River... It's winter. That's what my childless single women friends are doing. It's an awful life to be a white collar professional with lots of discretionary income.
Scrolling through my Facebook feed looking for childless single women over 30 I've known for decades, I see skiing powder at Squaw, SCUBA diving in the Caymans, a bunch of Park City ski pictures, on skis at Sunday River... It's winter. That's what my childless single women friends are doing. It's an awful life to be a white collar professional with lots of discretionary income.
I know. It’s rough. I can vacation whenever I want (outside of school breaks). I can easily move for my career while others are stuck in the same city and can’t take jobs that require travel... I have a lot more discretionary income. I have never experienced a stigma. Most of my friends are professionals.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD
Scrolling through my Facebook feed looking for childless single women over 30 I've known for decades, I see skiing powder at Squaw, SCUBA diving in the Caymans, a bunch of Park City ski pictures, on skis at Sunday River... It's winter. That's what my childless single women friends are doing. It's an awful life to be a white collar professional with lots of discretionary income.
I won't say I've ever dealt with a "stigma" but there are people who like to pester me about still being single, and I'm only 25 (26 in a few weeks.) But to be honest, a lot of the people who pester me aren't that happy with their lives either. They also aren't that educated, so a lot of their comments come from ignorance. I know some people like to believe being married/in relationships validates their existence and "proves" nothing is wrong with them. But that's not the truth. A lot of dysfunctional people are married.
As for having friends, my best friend is married with two kids and she is always trying to make plans with me. Hell, she even complains about me not coming to see her enough. She messes with me about not having a bf but she told me she's just bored and wants to be entertained by seeing me with a man. I think a lot of this comes from where you live. If you live in an area that makes a big deal about this stuff, it's going to get to you, eventually making you think that's the life you want. If you live in an area that could care less about it, you probably wouldn't be bothered as much.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy-Cat-Lady
No one wants to acknowledge this issue, but the stigma against single, childless people over 30 is real. Past 30, you're meant to have your [bleep] together and be married with kids. If you're not, people see you as some sort of non adult and you end up losing friends when they get pregnant, as parents tend to only want to be friends with other parents and people change when they have kids. Dating becomes difficult too, because you're left with the people who are also not good enough to be part of society by following the plan. The childfree moment is a joke...these people are honestly just envious of parents like I am, but they won't admit it.
I find the bolded part completely offensive as a childfree by choice man. Stop projecting your feelings onto other people. I don’t envy parents one bit. Really tragic you included that since you did highlight some good points in your post.
I agree with you that it can be harder to fit in and make friends if you're unmarried without children, but that still doesn't make me wish that I had children.
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